So, we've got the expectant fathers thread. But, since I recently transcended from expecting the birth to dealing with the day to day of an infant there's nothing really going. So here goes.
Right now, he's 12 days old. We've figured out some of his favorites. Other items are still a mystery. He's hell on wheels at about 2 am when he's due for a change and the only way we've found to simmer him down is for a lay-down on me, with using my pinky as a pacifier. Lil fella really wants something to suck on, but nothing aside from my rt pinky seems to suit. Think I'm getting carpal tunnel from it, I swear.
Solid sleeper during the day, and getting better oer nights. But that change up is giving me hell. Any thoughts? I could use that hour+ of sleep spent awake with him perched on me, and my wrist contorted to get the pinky in his mouth, nail side down. Yeah, gotta be that way it seems... :-\
IMO (and that's all it is)... if you train the little fella that you'll pacify him in this way.... he'll expect it to continue... and create HELL if he doesn't get what you've taught him to expect.
Its hard, but after the 2am change.... (and feed?) ... probably best - once you know his immediate needs have been taken care of and that he's otherwise fine - probably best to let him cry it out. Torture at first I know. But he will get over it.
Either you train him or he'll train you.
Quote from: ungeheuer on April 16, 2013, 09:58:44 AM
IMO (and that's all it is)... if you train the little fella that you'll pacify him in this way.... he'll expect it to continue... and create HELL if he doesn't get what you've taught him to expect.
Its hard, but after the 2am change.... (and feed?) ... probably best - once you know his immediate needs have been taken care of and that he's otherwise fine - probably best to let him cry it out. Torture at first I know. But he will get over it.
Either you train him or he'll train you.
this is all very true. I remember my daughter's pediatrician telling me to sleep when she slept and get myself a good pair of earplugs to let her cry it out sometimes. They need to learn to self comfort and it's much harder on you than it is on them. :-\
I disagree with the above two on crying it out. People will disagree, but many believe (including my pediatrician) that habits are not formed in the 0-3 month period. My personal experience supports this. At 0-3 months babies need to be comforted...it is essentially the 4th trimester, and they'd rather not be out in the world yet. Hayden slept with us in our bed for the first 3 months, and when we transitioned him to the crib in his room it was no problem...he hasn't slept with us since. Most nights at 0-3 months, laying down with me was the only thing that would get him to go to sleep though (which is how it started).
I'd suggest getting a copy of "Happiest Baby on the Block". It's an extremely good book, and very helpful.
If the baby is sucking on your finger then is he hungry (assuming you also feed at the 2am change)? That's how we used to gauge when Hayden was hungry, as he wouldn't do it otherwise.
Other than that, just be patient, and get used to not sleeping. Even when your baby does eventually start sleeping through the night, you won't sleep the same as you did pre-baby. I find that I sleep very light now, just waiting for a sound from the monitor...and my son is 3 1/2 and has slept through the night in his own room since he was 3 months old.
Opinions. Everybody's gone one ;D.
Our first born was 2 months premature, so we have some understanding of "rather not be out in the world yet" :).
There is some research which suggests sleeping with your baby ought be avoided - especially babies of 3 months or less.
This from sidsandkids.org >> http://www.sidsandkids.org/wp-content/uploads/LongB2013LR.pdf (http://www.sidsandkids.org/wp-content/uploads/LongB2013LR.pdf) << "Special Note about bed sharing".
I've got 3 Kiddos. An 11 year old and twin 7 year olds.
Get the book "12 Hours in 12 weeks". Read it, learn it, live it.
Teaching the kid to self sooth is vital. My daughter, one of the twins learned very early on, how to calm herself.
Her twin brother on the other hand had to wear a heart monitor every night for a long while. The thing would peep and my wife and I would rush into the room. It took him a lot longer to learn how to chill himself out. His mom or I would instantly be there to comfort him. He was needy and unhappy until he finally discovered the concept of self soothing.
Good luck!
Like Ung said...everyone has their opinion. Do what you think is right. :) The book I suggested is a good one. Read it and the other one suggested to get multiple views (assuming they're different). We didn't let our son cry when he was <3 months and everything worked out just fine. At 3 months he slept better, in his own room, than any of our friends' kids. Over 3 months...sure, we let him cry it out a few times.
We could have just got lucky though...usually when he cried there was a reason.
Quote from: ungeheuer on April 16, 2013, 08:09:59 PM
There is some research which suggests sleeping with your baby ought be avoided - especially babies of 3 months or less.
I knew this would come up. Babies don't die from SIDS from sleeping with their parents, they die from being suffocated. Obviously you have to be careful, and that especially includes not drinking (or drugging) at all. If you are a super heavy sleeper or a wild sleeper, then not a good idea. My wife and I were very careful, he was on his back, not by covers or pillows, etc. Again, just our experience, which I wouldn't change. Do what you think is right though. :)
For cosleeping, baby should sleep with breastfeeding mom, not with dad or with mom if not breastfeeding. Or you can use a co-sleeper (baby bed attached to the side of your bed).
For a newborn, the early morning hours are the best feeding hours. Mom's supply is higher then. Will take a little while for schedule to change to more normal days/nights. In the meantime, really try to do the "sleep when the baby sleeps" thing.
Quote from: Triple J on April 16, 2013, 11:17:48 AM
I disagree with the above two on crying it out. People will disagree, but many believe (including my pediatrician) that habits are not formed in the 0-3 month period. My personal experience supports this. At 0-3 months babies need to be comforted...it is essentially the 4th trimester, and they'd rather not be out in the world yet. Hayden slept with us in our bed for the first 3 months, and when we transitioned him to the crib in his room it was no problem...he hasn't slept with us since. Most nights at 0-3 months, laying down with me was the only thing that would get him to go to sleep though (which is how it started).
I'd suggest getting a copy of "Happiest Baby on the Block". It's an extremely good book, and very helpful.
+1
We've got Happiest baby - now remembering what it says at 3am... well.
Amended battle plan seemed to work a bit better last night. The major change being shortening the time between feedings. Seems we have a little piggy+ on our hands. Though who know what today holds. Yesterday he was up most of the day, which isn't his norm. So by logical (haha) deduction night might not have been the norm either. if there really is such a thing at this stage.
Quote from: Triple J on April 16, 2013, 11:17:48 AM....Other than that, just be patient, and get used to not sleeping.
+1 (it wont be forever).
Quote from: Triple J on April 16, 2013, 11:20:53 PMDo what you think is right. :)
+1
Good luck (you'll do fine) [thumbsup].
Treat yourself and the wife to a Doula(sp) every once in a while. We received several visits for a baby shower gift.
There is no sweeter sleep.
Quote from: rgramjet on April 17, 2013, 08:38:46 AM
Treat yourself and the wife to a Doula(sp) every once in a while. We received several visits for a baby shower gift.
There is no sweeter sleep.
[thumbsup]
so...Roger...you gonna send a Ma-Doula-Oblong-Gratis his way for a visit so he can see what you mean?
He can just find a magic way to reduces the costs on that addition I chatted to him about ;D
Imo, your parenting responsibilities don't end when the sun goes down. You wouldn't leave your child to cry all day, so why do it at night. Read up on the physiological affects of crying it out and I hope you'll agree that it in not a solution. Our baby never cried it out and sleeps through every night. Sure it was hell for a long time, but you don't have a kid to make your life easier.
Quote from: Howley on April 17, 2013, 06:43:43 PM
Imo, your parenting responsibilities don't end when the sun goes down. You wouldn't leave your child to cry all day, so why do it at night. Read up on the physiological affects of crying it out and I hope you'll agree that it in not a solution. Our baby never cried it out and sleeps through every night. Sure it was hell for a long time, but you don't have a kid to make your life easier.
I agree with you opinion: Indeed parenting responsibilities do not end when the sun goes down.
Or at any other time.
Have your opinion, but to suggest that those who do not share it lack responsibility I find offensive.
Quote from: Howley on April 17, 2013, 06:43:43 PMYou wouldn't leave your child to cry all day, so why do it at night.
And nobody here has suggested such stupidity. There is a world of difference between leaving your child to cry all day and/or night.... and allowing them to "cry it out"
having first made sure that their immediate needs are taken care of and that they are otherwise well. Quote from: Howley on April 17, 2013, 06:43:43 PMyou don't have a kid to make your life easier.
Agree again. Are you suggesting that those who don't subscribe to your view are less diligent parents interested in not being inconvenienced by parenthood?
Opinion is one thing. Value judgements are another.
As far as I'm concerned, if a baby is crying its needs are not being met. I'm not saying people who practice cry it out techniques are irresponsible, but if they do it with full knowledge of the damage and distress they are causing their child, solely so in the long term they can get a better nights sleep, in my opinion its not far from child abuse.
Don't get me wrong, we tried cry it out for about half an hour. It reduced both of us to tears and feeling physically unwell. Anything that goes against your natural instincts that much we figured could not be right, and further research proved that to us.
Ymmv. Like you said, opinions are like assholes, everyone's got them.
Even professional "sleep training" experts do not advocate trying those techniques with a newborn.
You can find "experts" that have a position on every side of the coin.....
Yes but usually only one side is based on fact and proper research.
Quote from: Howley on April 17, 2013, 09:46:21 PM
Yes but usually only one side is based on fact and proper research.
And then there is the side you disagree with?
;D
Bazinga!
Well, sticking to the reduced down time between feedings has seemed to help a touch. And some progress was made in the something besides a human finger department.
Though as a general rule he still HATES to get a diaper change. Though there was a mellow one yesterday, generally they are the scene of much fuming.
Quote from: Slide Panda on April 18, 2013, 08:47:40 AM
Though as a general rule he still HATES to get a diaper change. Though there was a mellow one yesterday, generally they are the scene of much fuming.
wait till the diaper starts to produce fumes of toxicity!!!
I'll just be happy when my low back troubles are (mostly) resolved. Had to call for a rescue a couple times when I was no longer able to stand. Got a shortened fuse for bent over stuff and the super fuss makes it all take longer, pushing past my bodys present tolerance level. :-[ Very frustrating to have to press mom into duties I should be able to do and have to crumple on the floor or hold myself up on a bit of furnature
Low back gets worse. You get more sleep eventually but then they get bigger and want to be carried more!
Whatever you do..don't go to YouTube for children's songs like those from Big Green Rabbit! "Green Anaconda" their other animal songs get stuck on your head. KidsTv123 is another one. The Duck Song, Rain rain go away and The Solar System song...they're cute and the lil one will love them but you can't get them out of my head.
;)
Back a while NPR or something similar did a piece on the Sippy Cups and similar bands who were doing kids music with interesting enough lyrics and sounds for parents. They and a number of other kid oriented bands seem to have formed from various sorts of rockers of our youth who have had kids of their own and though (in my words) that the kids music of the previous era sucked, especially for parents to have to endure - so they formed up kid friendly content bands with the aim to also have stuff that parents will enjoy too.
The back is rooted in an injury about a week before going to the hospital and then provoked by sleeping on something not meant for sleep at the hospital. Needs some RnR, which is a commodity.
Quote from: IZ on April 18, 2013, 09:43:59 AM
Low back gets worse. You get more sleep eventually but then they get bigger and want to be carried more!
+1
I'd say the sore back peaks around them being 2 years old. Carrying my little germ factory landed me in the PT office learning to do all sorts of hammy stretching exercises to take the pressure off of my lower back. A good thing in the long run though, as my intermittent lower back problems are essentially gone now. :)
They go through phases with diaper changes as well...don't mind - hate it - don't mind - kinda mind - friggin' hate it - don't mind - etc. [laugh]
...and I have the Octonauts (Disney Jr. TV show) song stuck in my head right now. :P
Quote from: Triple J on April 18, 2013, 11:43:49 AM
+1
I'd say the sore back peaks around them being 2 years old. Carrying my little germ factory landed me in the PT office learning to do all sorts of hammy stretching exercises to take the pressure off of my lower back. A good thing in the long run though, as my intermittent lower back problems are essentially gone now. :)
They go through phases with diaper changes as well...don't mind - hate it - don't mind - kinda mind - friggin' hate it - don't mind - etc. [laugh]
...and I have the Octonauts (Disney Jr. TV show) song stuck in my head right now. :P
+1 to all that
2 years old is really tough. You think diaper changes are hard now? Wait until they have enough strength in those legs to land a deadly blow to the chin. If it isn't the legs going crazy, my son utilizes every stall tactic he knows. If I let him go without the diaper, he bleeds the lizard all over the floor [laugh]
Quote from: zooom on April 18, 2013, 09:30:32 AM
wait till the diaper starts to produce fumes of toxicity!!!
Wait til the kiddo has his first blowout! Ian will be wishing it was just fumes!
Quote from: rgramjet on April 18, 2013, 02:28:31 PM
Wait til the kiddo has his first blowout! Ian will be wishing it was just fumes!
Yep.
Get scissors and cut that onesie off
Try a wrap or sling for holding baby in a nice comfy ergonomic position for both of you.
And instead of walking around with baby, you could try bouncing on a yoga ball. Will probably help your back and quite soothing for baby.
Already have both!
Yeah, he likes a little bounce bounce wiggle wiggle - though at times, probably like any baby it's not enough. Still the nuclear option is a good wrap (which can be a 2 on 1 match) and some time curled up with me. He's decided that a pacifier is not the debil mostly - which is nice as I was starting to get numbness in my pinky and ring finger from the extended time, tight bend of my elbow.
He's still small enough that he needs solid neck support, so the sling is good, but still needs a hand to mind the head, just in case.
Quote from: lazylightnin717 on April 18, 2013, 12:00:43 PM
+1 to all that
2 years old is really tough. You think diaper changes are hard now? Wait until they have enough strength in those legs to land a deadly blow to the chin. If it isn't the legs going crazy, my son utilizes every stall tactic he knows. If I let him go without the diaper, he bleeds the lizard all over the floor [laugh]
Approaching 2 very soon. This ^ started a few months back. The boy has got some quads from his side of the family and also loves to kick things..typically it's mom's face. Why don't these kids like fresh pants?!
Quote from: Slide Panda on April 19, 2013, 08:48:44 AM
Already have both!
Yeah, he likes a little bounce bounce wiggle wiggle - though at times, probably like any baby it's not enough. Still the nuclear option is a good wrap (which can be a 2 on 1 match) and some time curled up with me. He's decided that a pacifier is not the debil mostly - which is nice as I was starting to get numbness in my pinky and ring finger from the extended time, tight bend of my elbow.
He's still small enough that he needs solid neck support, so the sling is good, but still needs a hand to mind the head, just in case.
[thumbsup]
Quote from: IZ on April 19, 2013, 10:13:08 AM
Approaching 2 very soon. This ^ started a few months back. The boy has got some quads from his side of the family and also loves to kick things..typically it's mom's face. Why don't these kids like fresh pants?!
You could ask him?
http://www.ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=66 (http://www.ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?action=profile;u=66)