monday morning a video camera will be shoved up my ass
i realize that for some people there's a bit of a "whats the big deal, people pay extra for that in Vegas" attitude about it
it's not so much the whole "I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!" aspect of it that has me concerned and distraught
it's that I can't eat solid food today
chicken broth, popsicles and Jello are all I get to choose from
Jello is a lie
it appears to have form and content
but when you eat it (and I use the term eat loosely here) nothing happens
there is no texture
there is no shape
there is no substance
in the 70s Jello marketed itself using the phrase " there's always room for Jello"
well no shit jack, there's always room for something when that something is nothing
the popsicle is only marginally better
the popsciles only saving grace is that, at 50, I feel like a lil bit of a rebel eating popsicles for breakfast
eating jello just makes me feel old
im saving the chicken broth for dinner, paring it with a fine glass of iced water, followed with a bowl of green nihilism
yuuuummmmmm
The less you put in, the better off you'll be. It's just going to come back out in short order and with a vengeance.
I feel for ya. Good luck!
oh...and I also have two rounds of some special "colonblast" liquid I have to drink today and later tonight.
[drink]
Quote from: bobspapa on November 03, 2013, 12:23:40 PM
oh...and I also have two rounds of some special "colonblast" liquid I have to drink today and later tonight.
[drink]
That's the best part...
pissing all that jello out your ass. ;)
It's no big deal as long as they give you the proper amount of anaesthesia. Too much and you may be nauseous afterwards.
I like to see how big a piece of jello I can swallow in one gulp.
Pics or it didn't happen. [evil]
Quote from: krolik on November 03, 2013, 02:11:59 PM
Video Pics or it didn't happen. [evil]
Fixed. It is 2013 after all. [roll]
;D
Quote from: ducpainter on November 03, 2013, 01:14:12 PM
That's the best part...
pissing all that jello out your ass. ;)
ooooooohhhhhh....double rainbow!
IT'S PEOPLE!
(http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t180/bobspapa/IMG_20131103_142515_560.jpg)
Cheers... [drink]
"People pay extra for that in Vegas" [laugh]
My prayer for you is that that the nurses are hot! {Especially if you get a sponge bath).
Good luck, hope they lube the camera and all they find is jello.
If I was you, I'd mount some handles on the bog, cause later on
You're going to be doing your best space shuttle
Imitation.
In all seriousness, good on you for taking care of yourself.
It's a pain in the ass (sorry) but potentially life saving.
BP: I feel you on the Jell-O thing.
I've had more than one scoping already... and I'm only 30. Gonna have to go through that every 3-5 years from now 'til I die.
Cancer sucks.
Screen for it, catch it early, and it can be dealt with easily. Don't let it get far enough along they gotta do chemo.
To all y'all who are 50 or over and haven't had a screening colonoscopy: man up and go get it already.
To all y'all, regardless of age: if there is ANYTHING abnormal about your poopin', go get a colonoscopy.
I speak from experience. If I'd gotten this taken care of sooner, mine wouldn't have been Stage IIIB. I also wouldn't be staring at a suspected lung metastasis on a CT scan right now.
Seriously... Get. Your. Colon. Scoped.
Quote from: duc_fan on November 03, 2013, 05:07:21 PM
BP: I feel you on the Jell-O thing.
I've had more than one scoping already... and I'm only 30. Gonna have to go through that every 3-5 years from now 'til I die.
Cancer sucks.
Screen for it, catch it early, and it can be dealt with easily. Don't let it get far enough along they gotta do chemo.
To all y'all who are 50 or over and haven't had a screening colonoscopy: man up and go get it already.
To all y'all, regardless of age: if there is ANYTHING abnormal about your poopin', go get a colonoscopy.
I speak from experience. If I'd gotten this taken care of sooner, mine wouldn't have been Stage IIIB. I also wouldn't be staring at a suspected lung metastasis on a CT scan right now.
Seriously... Get. Your. Colon. Scoped.
To add to this warning...
While I joke...I've had my butt cam.
The guy that helped me frame my new house is a colon cancer survivor.
He doesn't like feeling tied up inside like he can't stand up straight, and the effects of chemo have stayed with him for years now.
It's scary, but just do it.
Joel, after an invasive procedure like that, the best thing for you is Jell-O. Lots of it.
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/057c8976f1e27d6a3a3de500897e08e7/tumblr_mqcp4ddwS51qfnd7eo1_500.jpg)
[shot]
weeeee...im a geyser
One would think this being almost 2014 there would be a better way to deal with a look inside than cramming a camera up ones ass. I am 48 and hoping that a meteor hits the planet before I am 50...... Hard to stomach the thought.
Quote from: bobspapa on November 03, 2013, 07:06:10 PM
weeeee...im a geyser
i can drink milk and do the same thing. [cheeky]
Quote from: Skybarney on November 04, 2013, 09:10:50 AM
One would think this being almost 2014 there would be a better way to deal with a look inside than cramming a camera up ones ass.
Yeah, when are we going to get this technology?
(http://www.filminamerica.com/Movies/Innerspace/i-poster.jpg)
Quote from: Skybarney on November 04, 2013, 09:10:50 AM
One would think this being almost 2014 there would be a better way to deal with a look inside than cramming a camera up ones ass. I am 48 and hoping that a meteor hits the planet before I am 50...... Hard to stomach the thought.
Propofol is a wonderful thing. [thumbsup]
Seriously, the prep is the worst of it. Find a doc who does the Miralax prep, it's not completely evil. Try to avoid the "Go Lytely" stuff. Reports from nurses I know indicate that one is less than fun.
Most importantly, find a way to laugh about it. Reading Dave Barry's column on the subject is a great way to make the experience humorous:
QuoteOK. You turned 50. You know you're supposed to get a colonoscopy. But you haven't. Here are your reasons:
1. You've been busy.
2. You don't have a history of cancer in your family.
3. You haven't noticed any problems.
4. You don't want a doctor to stick a tube 17,000 feet up your butt.
Let's examine these reasons one at a time. No, wait, let's not. Because you and I both know that the only real reason is No. 4. This is natural. The idea of having another human, even a medical human, becoming deeply involved in what is technically known as your ''behindular zone'' gives you the creeping willies.
Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/#storylink=cpy (http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/#storylink=cpy)
Can't we just swallow a camera pill yet? Not to mention this being the USA they don't even give you the dignity of being completely asleep for the procedure.
I will never forget watching my buddy get four shots of painkillers (paraglider crash broke his shoulder) before being hauled off for x-rays. Then they put him under completely just to set it. Not bad for $600.00. Of course this was Switzerland. Here in the USA they would you feel everything rather than just knock you out. Every x-ray tech I have ever met was descended from Marquis de Sade.
I think I will plan my 50th B-day in Switzerland as I can't imagine them making people stay awake for a scoping. Especially as they don't make you stay awake to set a shoulder.....
If your doc won't put you out completely find another.
When I had mine done the doctor came through the prep room just after the nurse had given me whatever they give you. He said "give him another dose".
I woke up after it was all over feeling mighty fine. ;D
This isn't Bobspapa, it's Lilysmama, aka. Mrs. Bobspapa, but it's his account that is logged in right now, so I am just going with it. No, Bobspapa is currently upstairs engaging in narcotics-tinged dreams (probably about bathrooms and food), but he mentioned in recovery that he'd started this thread -- why was I not surprised? -- so I just wanted to let everyone know that everything went well. Sadly, or not, there is no video of the procedure nor his Droopy Dog performance afterwards.
Mark November 4, 2013 on your calendars folks...it is the one day that you can be assured that my beloved husband is not full of shit.
LM/Michelle
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/capsule-endoscopy/MY00139/DSECTION=what-you-can-expect (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/capsule-endoscopy/MY00139/DSECTION=what-you-can-expect)
there is a camera pill... i think the NSA uses them.
You would still need to have a clean, shiny colon. Prep is the bad part.
Blast, I'm too late! Was going to suggest a practical joke on your lower GI doc. A big bowl of cowboy chili paired with a couple ears of corn should do the trick!
Quote from: bobspapa on November 04, 2013, 01:24:50 PM
This isn't Bobspapa, it's Lilysmama, aka. Mrs. Bobspapa, but it's his account that is logged in right now, so I am just going with it. No, Bobspapa is currently upstairs engaging in narcotics-tinged dreams (probably about bathrooms and food), but he mentioned in recovery that he'd started this thread -- why was I not surprised? -- so I just wanted to let everyone know that everything went well. Sadly, or not, there is no video of the procedure nor his Droopy Dog performance afterwards.
Mark November 4, 2013 on your calendars folks...it is the one day that you can be assured that my beloved husband is not full of shit.
LM/Michelle
It happens once every ten years. ;D
food was just been passing right through me as of late, so the colon blow prep crap, was the least of the procedure issues. not eating solid food and waking up from being knocked out were the shitty parts.
What a timely thread! I'm currently a 6pack into the colonblast program right now. Procedure is at 11:30 tomorrow. The no food thing has definitely had me a bit crabby.
Just for shits and giggles I'm playing rectal roulette and seeing how long I can hold out until the gastrointestinal geyser can no longer be contained. Fingers (and legs) crossed. :-[
Been there, done that. Good times. :-\ I quit eating anything by 1/2 way through the "cleanse", realizing it was futile.
Good luck on the results. [thumbsup]
Quote from: howie on November 04, 2013, 01:56:04 PM
Prep is the bad part.
No shit. [laugh] The prep is horrible. I'm installing a tv in the bathroom before I have to do it again.
Things are quickly becoming unstable down there...
Quote from: ducpainter on November 04, 2013, 12:58:56 PM
If your doc won't put you out completely find another.
When I had mine done the doctor came through the prep room just after the nurse had given me whatever they give you. He said "give him another dose".
I woke up after it was all over feeling mighty fine. ;D
^^ This.
They knocked. me. out.
Totally out.
I've never been queasy when waking up from anesthesia, so can't really tell you if Propofol is better or worse than other stuff. I did wake up feeling great. Wifey says I'm funny when I wake up drugged.
Like DP says, if they won't knock you totally out, find another doc and/or clinic.
"Hey Doc, any sign of my dignity up there?"
nope....but they did see traces of brain.
Quote from: alfisti on November 04, 2013, 03:24:24 PM
Things are quickly becoming unstable down there...
Wet wipes are your friend
Also, my doc knocked me out too.
Can you make the jello with vodka?
[shot]
All I can say is, whatever they are paying these doctors.......its not enough.
[puke] [puke] [puke] [puke]
im currently working on a video of yesterdays experience
titled...two recoveryroom nurses, one cup.
Quote from: bobspapa on November 05, 2013, 09:01:52 AM
im currently working on a video of yesterdays experience
titled...two recoveryroom nurses, one cup.
OH GOD! I had blocked that from my memory, thanks for dredging it up. [cheeky]
Quote from: bobspapa on November 05, 2013, 09:01:52 AM
im currently working on a video of yesterdays experience
titled...two recoveryroom nurses, one cup.
Keep in mind it only happened in your drug induced brain, that you yourself admitted was up your ass. ;D
so.... no syndication money?
poop :(
literally ;)
Doc gave me a clean bung of health [thumbsup]
[thumbsup] Excellent.
after all the prep...twas you who gave the doctor a clean bung
Quote from: bobspapa on November 07, 2013, 12:42:58 PM
after all the prep...twas you who gave the doctor a clean bung
Twas us ;)