Read this elsewhere and thought many DMFers would appreciate. Younger DMFers: be warned, however much you plan to stay in shape, this is your future. (Original post from Deadspin here.) (http://deadspin.com/what-is-historys-most-farted-in-building-1480379781)
QuoteI just had a snow day with my kids and kids give zero make the beast with two backss about wet clothing or getting snow down their crack. I remember this distinctly from when I was a kid: I could stay out in the cold for hours and hours in wet jeans, with rivers of snot pouring out of my nose, and I wouldn't really care until I got inside and realized that I was on the verge of death. Kids have a higher tolerance for pain and they are far, far less aware of danger than you or I are. Half my life is now spent shouting at my kids DON'T DO THAT, THAT WILL KILL YOU.
Some other things that are more painful as you get older:
Sitting on a floor. This is the big one for me. Children can sit on a floor forever. They can sit cross-legged. They can sit with their legs stretched all the way out. They can roll over and lay on their bellies with their chins resting atop their elbows. I can't do any of that for more than six seconds. It hurts to LOOK at them doing this.
Sleeping on a floor. Drunk teenagers are also good at this. Once you hit 30, you will never crash anywhere again unless forced.
Falling. My friends and I used to laugh at that "I've fallen and I can't get up!" ad all the time when were kids because we didn't understand why she couldn't get up. Just get up, you old crone. What a looooozer LULZ!
Stretching. Kids and babies are so absurdly flexible that it's fascinating. When I change my kid's diaper, sometimes I like to see just how far I can pull his ankles past his head. Answer: pretty far! Sorry if I tore your hamstring, kiddo. It's like changing a member of the X-Men (an X-Man?).
Having five other people jump on top of you. Kids can sit at the bottom of a dogpile for nine hours, laughing and giggling and even doing craft projects. By contrast, I had my one-year-old fall on me the other day and it was like someone dropped a piano on my make the beast with two backsing head.
Hanging from things. At the playground, I will joke around and dangle from the monkey bars for half a second and separate both shoulders.
Spinning. How do they not get sick? Why are they completely unaffected by centrifugal forces? I don't get it. Every playground now has a tilted, spinning gyroscopic-type device that can take you from 0 to nauseous in just two spins. Kids can stay on this thing for hours. It's like they're trained astronauts.
Chapped lips. They could look like Ronald McDonald and still refuse Blistex.
Yes, yes, yes and more yes.... Dammit. But alas, age does have it's benefits:
We now know that you either pay for alcohol up front (higher $), or pay later (porcelain god/hangover).
Dating strippers/models/actresses is a nice idea but rarely works.
We can now afford those cars/bikes we only dreamed about before and NOT get charged 11tyB for insurance premiums.
etc, etc...
putting on the gimp suit
Making some kind of groan every time you bend over.
Quote from: Duck-Stew on December 20, 2013, 03:11:38 PM
Yes, yes, yes and more yes.... Dammit. But alas, age does have it's benefits:
We now know that you either pay for alcohol up front (higher $), or pay later (porcelain god/hangover).
Dating strippers/models/actresses is a nice idea but rarely works.
We can now afford those cars/bikes we only dreamed about before and NOT get charged 11tyB for insurance premiums.
etc, etc...
Yes.
But that part about sleeping on the floor, oh yeah.....
aside from stu's
Quote from: Duck-Stew on December 20, 2013, 03:11:38 PM
We can now afford those cars/bikes we only dreamed about before and NOT get charged 11tyB for insurance premiums.
I see no benefit whatsoever from older me. this is some bullshit.
The spinning definitely gets to me now.. I know my mom got vertigo as she got older, always wondered if that will happen to me as well
My initial response was going to be "memories," but thankfully those tend to lose their edge with time. Tho a vivid dream can throw you right back into it for a day or two.
So I decided to go with: Working with people younger than you who are doing a better job of applying themselves than you did.
My 20-20 hindsight. :)
Quote from: Buckethead on December 21, 2013, 01:48:30 AM
So I decided to go with: Working with people younger than you who are doing a better job of applying themselves than you did.
So in my case, pretty much everyone young. :-[
I feel like this thread was posted for me. [laugh] My wife and friends make fun of the fact that I let out a moan every time I bend over to pick something up or reach up high to get stuff. Funny, I've been doing it for a long time so I guess I was practicing for these years. ;) ;D