Ducati Monster Forum

Kitchen Sink => No Moto Content => Topic started by: kopfjäger on June 29, 2016, 03:34:11 PM

Title: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: kopfjäger on June 29, 2016, 03:34:11 PM
I'd be more than willing to step up to the plate. I can easily win your father over, (he's probably my age) I'm self confident, I'm a huge downhill ski fan, (I am a positive influence on athletes) I can cook, I'm pretty make the beast with two backsing funny, I can double as your personal security,  I love dogs, and I sold my golf clubs.


Lindsey Vonn: - CNN.com - www.cnn.com (//http://)
http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/29/entertainment/lindsey-vonn-dating-men/index.html?campaign_id=A100&campaign_type=Email (http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/29/entertainment/lindsey-vonn-dating-men/index.html?campaign_id=A100&campaign_type=Email)
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: ducpainter on June 29, 2016, 03:36:43 PM
Dood... [laugh] [clap] [laugh] [clap]...

good luck with it.

Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: koko64 on June 29, 2016, 03:44:37 PM
Give it a shot, don't know if you don't try. [laugh]
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Bick on June 29, 2016, 04:00:31 PM
Dear Lindsey,

While Kopf is probably a decent human being, you probably want to be with someone who is not already in his sunset years.

It would also be much easier for you and I to date, as we are practically neighbors already.

And, Helicopter Pilot.  'Nuf said.





Sorry Daryl.
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: koko64 on June 29, 2016, 04:08:29 PM
Gotta' sell your golf clubs though.
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: koko64 on June 29, 2016, 04:10:43 PM


"While Kopf is probably a decent human being, you probably want to be with someone who is not already in his sunset years."

No problem, look at Charlie Chaplin :D
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Bick on June 29, 2016, 04:13:24 PM
(http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j35/helokat/funnies/38bd6a41.jpg~original)

I rest my case.
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: kopfjäger on June 29, 2016, 04:42:02 PM
I almost forgot.....I love stargazing, thunderstorms, long walks in the rain, and chocolate pudding skins.
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: DarkMonster620 on June 29, 2016, 05:15:54 PM
Lindsey,

Hey, I am just a dude that cooks a bit here and there, eats like a friggin' decathlon participant, know a thing or two about cars and motorcycles and most important, I am a tourist who has never in his life put on a pair of skies but, has done some ice skating . . .

I am jobless but, searching.

Hope you give me a change to prove you that non-athletic guys are worth the chance
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: LMT on June 29, 2016, 05:25:35 PM
Dear Lindsey.

Get with the program! This is 2016. You don't need a man to start a family. It really sounds like you need a wife. Parents love me. Little babies coo at me. Small dogs jump right into my arms.

I cook, clean, iron, and have shoes enough to match any purse you would need me hold for you.

Plus I could teach you a thing or two! 

PS - I don't golf.  ;D
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: koko64 on June 29, 2016, 05:38:28 PM
Like I said, worth a shot. :D
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Speeddog on June 29, 2016, 07:39:45 PM
Given her prior beau, perhaps words like "loyal" or "monogamous", or phrases like "I'm not a skirt-chasing dirtbag" or "I don't hop into the sack with every warm body I possibly can", may help you folks tune up your presentations.

Just sayin'.

;D
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Stella on June 30, 2016, 07:56:28 AM
Quote from: LMT on June 29, 2016, 05:25:35 PM
Dear Lindsey.

Get with the program! This is 2016. You don't need a man to start a family. It really sounds like you need a wife. Parents love me. Little babies coo at me. Small dogs jump right into my arms.

I cook, clean, iron, and have shoes enough to match any purse you would need me hold for you.

Plus I could teach you a thing or two! 

PS - I don't golf.  ;D

LMT FTW!    [laugh] [thumbsup]
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Duck-Stew on June 30, 2016, 01:09:28 PM
Quote from: LMT on June 29, 2016, 05:25:35 PM
Dear Lindsey.

Get with the program! This is 2016. You don't need a man to start a family. It really sounds like you need a wife. Parents love me. Little babies coo at me. Small dogs jump right into my arms.

I cook, clean, iron, and have shoes enough to match any purse you would need me hold for you.

Plus I could teach you a thing or two! 

PS - I don't golf.  ;D

LMT gets my vote!  [thumbsup]
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: red baron on June 30, 2016, 03:04:36 PM
Quite possibly one of the best threads every.


Dear Ms. Vonn,

Three solid candidates here are already in contention (albeit most have their AARP cards).


Personally I've already married above my pay grade. ;D
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: kopfjäger on June 30, 2016, 04:22:20 PM
Quote from: Speeddog on June 29, 2016, 07:39:45 PM
Given her prior beau, perhaps words like "loyal" or "monogamous", or phrases like "I'm not a skirt-chasing dirtbag" or "I don't hop into the sack with every warm body I possibly can", may help you folks tune up your presentations.

Just sayin'.

;D

She started dating Tiger long after that was public knowledge, so I don't think it really matters. Now where's my ski wax.
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Speeddog on June 30, 2016, 06:51:33 PM
Go for it!

The worst she can do is say no.
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Grampa on June 30, 2016, 09:11:31 PM
Geez woman....I'm married already. Hacking Darrells account just to get closer to me is a new low.
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: kopfjäger on June 30, 2016, 09:16:20 PM
 [laugh] [laugh] [laugh] She heard about Monterey.
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Slide Panda on July 01, 2016, 10:08:38 AM
LMT does make some solid points.  [drink]
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Speedbag on July 01, 2016, 02:20:46 PM
 [laugh]
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: DarkMonster620 on July 01, 2016, 06:08:00 PM
You better catch her,

http://www.motorsport.com/f3.5/news/skiing-star-lindsey-vonn-tries-out-for-potential-racing-future-794492/ (http://www.motorsport.com/f3.5/news/skiing-star-lindsey-vonn-tries-out-for-potential-racing-future-794492/)
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: ducpainter on July 01, 2016, 06:24:27 PM
NASCAR could sell that shit. :-*
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Dirty Duc on July 01, 2016, 09:30:38 PM
Dear Ms. Vonn,

I have an opening on my LSR team. I promise speed, and no leg-humping. Besides, I and my teammates are happily married. But your status as a motorcycle racer in addition to your skiing abilities will suredly open opportunities to meet confident low-lifes who pay lip service to gender equality.

Sincerely,

Dirtbag
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: red baron on July 02, 2016, 04:54:22 PM
  [laugh]
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on July 03, 2016, 09:04:43 AM
Maybe you should take a trip to Russia, Kopf?

http://metro.co.uk/2011/07/13/robber-viktor-jasinski-used-for-sex-slavery-by-beauty-salon-owner-olga-zajac-75008/ (http://metro.co.uk/2011/07/13/robber-viktor-jasinski-used-for-sex-slavery-by-beauty-salon-owner-olga-zajac-75008/)
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: kopfjäger on July 03, 2016, 11:22:48 AM
I remember when that story first broke.  :D

I dated a Russian hairdresser named Ulia while working in Kurdistan in 03. If you go that route you better bring your 'A' game. They can drink vodka all night long, I mean 'drink'. Most cab drivers sell viagra, and you're gonna need it. I walked with a limp for months.  ;)
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Popeye the Sailor on July 03, 2016, 11:50:06 AM
Yep-I made the mistake of drinking with the Russians.

I was blind for three days.  ;)
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: kopfjäger on July 03, 2016, 11:53:06 AM
I figured out after the first night not to touch an empty glass, or pick up the 'table' bottle to read the label.
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: koko64 on July 03, 2016, 03:12:38 PM
Careful what you wish for. [laugh]

The hairdresser applied her own home grown prisoner rehab programme. :D The crook, what a wuss, could have been a lot worse, like his head blown off by an armed store keeper.
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: Monsterlover on July 06, 2016, 07:08:02 PM
Im pretty happy to have found Mrs Monsterlover, but I wish the rest of you well.

I shall live vicariously through the winner ;D
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: 77south on July 07, 2016, 11:47:18 AM
Dear Lindsey,
   By now I assume you have had it with pretty boys, with rich boys, with talented, smart and successful people, with people who are in shape or earn a good living... which leaves me. I don't golf. 
Call me. 
Title: Re: Dear Ms Vonn
Post by: MendoDave on July 07, 2016, 02:35:07 PM
Quote from: Dirty Duc on July 01, 2016, 09:30:38 PM
Dear Ms. Vonn,

I have an opening on my LSR team. I promise speed, and no leg-humping. Besides, I and my teammates are happily married. But your status as a motorcycle racer in addition to your skiing abilities will suredly open opportunities to meet confident low-lifes who pay lip service to gender equality.

Sincerely,

Dirtbag

[thumbsup]