Zombie Apocalypse!

[Scottish]

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE:
So it's been a rough couple days.... I managed to stay locked up in my attic for 36hrs.... they came faster than I expected. I haven't heard from my wife or daughter. Course the lines are all dead. I don't know if they are safe or not. There is an armory in Albuquerque. I can hope they made it there or somewhere safe.... The first 24hrs was fairly quiet they must've still been able to find plenty of food out there. I can only surmise that food sources are growing scarce for them. I heard a couple wonder through the downstairs occassionally, schuffling through the bedrooms probably looking for survivors. All hell broke loose early this morning. Earlier this morning while I was catching a cat nap, one snuck in the house and it sounded like it threw the aquarium to the floor. This unfortunately startled Paige(my Beagle) who awoke and let out a yelp. That sent the zombie into a frenzy I couldn't see down there but I could hear it tearing the place apart looking for us. It was only a matter of time before it attracted others I knew. I hoped to get to it first but they came outta nowhere I barely got my barricade back across the trap door in time to keep them out. I thought this space would be safer but the frenzy I hear on the other side makes me doubtful it will hold up more than an hour or two now that they know I'm here. Action, action, I gotta do something...... to tight and not enough ammo to fight my way out, make the beast with two backs!!! I shoulda bought more after my last camping trip.... shoulda bought a damn flame thrower. OK,  how do I get out? One way in, one way out, I chose the attic for that reason. Now I'm trapped like a spider in a jar. I'm gonna have to go between the rafters and knock a hole to the outside. I need to be ready to hit the ground running though, no time to load the pick up. Throw all the ammo I have into my pillow case. I loosen a brick from the decaying mortor in my 100yr old chimney and start hammering to loosen the boards. Ah, I hear the frenzy downstairs increase, they sense their prey is leaving them. Lucky me they aren't smart enough to figure out how. YES! Finally loose enough I can get my hands in and pry some. I put my back against it and push... not enough, a couple well placed kicks. Ah-ha a sliver of daylight, I peak. No zombies, they are all trying to attack my trap door and are unaware of my exodus. No time for anything now, I break through and run on to the kitchen roof, "Paige come on!" make the beast with two backs she's being a chicken shit!!! Do I slow down to grab her.... make the beast with two backs! make the beast with two backs! make the beast with two backs! I can't leave her, yes I throw her under my other arm and jump for the ground. DAMMIT!!!! Between the pillowcase full of ammo, the shotgun and carrying my dog I don't land well. Something is hurt in my foot. Not so bad that it'll slow me down right now, but I will be paying a price for it at some point. Grab my shit, scruff my dog I sprint/hop the twenty yards to the truck. Hop in and thank God ol' reliable is still true. She starts immediately, unfortunately with the glass packs she's loud. Every zombie in the neighborhood is going to be here in seconds. I throw it in gear and careen out of the alley way onto the street. To my right I can see them pooring out of the front of my house in pursuit. I have one chance for a plan B I knew from the start, I have to head straight through the heart of downtown Colorado Springs for the mountains on the other side. It's about a mile of densely populated area, if I can clear I-25 I'm golden. I'm hustling along now but I have to slow down... this old truck literally has no brakes, I lost them last time I drove it. Not that there is anything I wanna be stopping for anyway ............. holy shit...... I'm skirting to south edge of downtown heading west and I see them pooring across the lawn of the old courthouse. They must've heard my truck coming for blocks. Brakes or not I stamp the gas pedal to the floorboard. The old F-100 responds with everything it's got, I'm absolutely terrified! I'm weaving through abandoned cars. I bash along the side of a dead city bus shattering my passenger side window. Paige is beside herself in terror cowering on the floorboards with the whites of her eyes showing(I later realized I was screaming through this whole experience, but only after I realized I'd lost my voice). I bounce a zombie off the corner of my truck, shit they're fast and in the close confines of the urban waste here they are far more manuverable than I. I hit a Prius, bashing it aside, (my poor truck I've loved this truck, I often credit it with my sobriety). Now it's saving my life one last time, I finally get into the warehouse area, a lot more room and a straight shot into the mountains. I've made it out of town.... I have no supplies though. I have my dog, I have my hand guns on my belt, acompanieding by my hunting knives, I have my shot gun and a pillowcase full of ammo. The truck is empty except for some automotive ramps and a used rear dunlop bike tire. I'll need to loot a shop somewhere, and trade my beloved truck before I wreck. Now into the winding pass I go, Ute pass, once one of my favorite roads when I was leaning on the Monster, now looks like a nightmare in a 45 yr old truck with no breaks.....

[c_rex]

Pasty green make up is all you need.  Pretend you're a zombie too, infiltrate their ranks and save the world (if you care to.).  You'd be able to go wherever you want... set up zombie HQ at a Krispy Kremes and live the high life.  I really don't see the problem.  Besides- zombie chicks are hot.  Well- cold akshully, but in the hottest way possible.  I think.  Mebbe not.

[roy-nexus-6]

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE:
So it's been a rough couple days.... I managed to stay locked up in my attic for 36hrs.... they came faster than I expected. I haven't heard from my wife or daughter. Course the lines are all dead. I don't know if they are safe or not. There is an armory in Albuquerque. I can hope they made it there or somewhere safe.... The first 24hrs was fairly quiet they must've still been able to find plenty of food out there. I can only surmise that food sources are growing scarce for them. I heard a couple wonder through the downstairs occassionally, schuffling through the bedrooms probably looking for survivors....

Bravo!   

I particularly like the

[KnightofNi]

i couldn't get in touch with my girlfriend. i hope she is ok, it would be nice to be able to see her again.

i tried to take streets to get home, but there were so many abandonded cars, fresh bodies, and pools of slippery blood that navigating them was slowing me way down. i finally got onto a RR bed and made my way home from there. those zombies are freaking fast! i thought i was going to be taken off the bike a few times, but luckily their bodies are pretty soft so they just kind of exploded when i hit them or gave them a nice kick. i did hurt my knuckles when i punched one. if it weren't for the armored gloves i think i would have broken my hand.

i managed to get into the house before they descended on it. i'm not sure how i'm going to take out the stairs to the deck. right now i have a blanket over the door and a bookcase blocking the door. all my weapons are sharpened, but i'm quickly realizing that of all of them, the best one is my machete. most of the swords are too long, and the axe is definantely unweildly indoors. i have a bow and a few arrows, but once again, they arent' the best in close quarters. since my neighbor has guns i decided to try and get into his apt to use them. when the house was turned into apartments all they did was wall up doorways so it wouldn't be that difficult with the proper tools. i have a couple of claw hammers and my body. i tried calling his cell, but there was no answer. i don't even know if cell phones would work right now anyways. i knocked on the walls and called out to him, but got no response so i started on the wall. when i got a hole in the wall i peeked through and nearly lost an eye when he reached through to try and get me. he had been infected and knew i was there. make the beast with two backs me that sucked. i grabbed the machete and headed back to my work area. i got him to reach through again and whacked off his arm just below the elbow. god did that make a mess. i then realized i would have to get his other arm and then figure out a way to get him to poke his head through. i got his other arm, but the head was definately not going to come off like the arms did. i had to make the hole bigger which meant i would have to be close to the hole without my blade. eventually i got the hole big enough that it was becoming very dangerous. i got the bow and was going to shoot him through the hole i just made. when i came back down to the work area he was breaking through! lucky for me he had no hands so he wasn't making alot of progress, but he did have most of his upper body through. i lopped off his head after a few tries since he didn't want to hold still. thinking it was over i pushed the body back through the hole and grabbed my hammer and set to work.
here is where i will pause to give out a warning. THE HEAD STILL BITES!
thank god i was wearing boots. i was bracing myself to rip some of the wall down when i heard a snapping and felt something on my foot. i looked down and there was his head trying to bite through my shoe. the hammer took care of that.

i tossed the remains out of an upper floor window. i think i got a couple more zombies with his body. the stench is bad right now. it's only going to get worse too. i'm wondering how we are all keeping these logs when the power went out days ago, but i guess that's a story for another time. i managed to spot another neighbor a few houses away who survived as well. there were so many zombies around that we are isolated from each other though only 30 yds away. they seem to have dispersed today so we might try and get together. having someone to stand watch would be great. i don't think i have slept much more than an hr at a time for the past 4 days. water is running low, i stink, but i do have enough food for a few more days. i didn't have anything set up to catch rainwater so everything that the tropical storm brought through is just mocking me as it dries.

has anyone noticed that the zombies dont' seem to see well at dawn and dusk? i'm afraid to try going out at night because i will need a flashlight and they could see it before i could see them. i can't outrun them since i'm painfully slow. i think i will try heading over to the corner deli for some water and other supplies at dusk in a few days when i desperately need them. after i stock up i'll have to find a way to dismantle the stairs. i've also got to come up with a new game. the cards are getting boring, and i can't play dice by myself. ohh and i really need to find a way to take a shower or something. i'm starting to offend myself.

[lethe]

The Zombie-off spray I made at the time I first created the Zombie virus itself is working beautifully. Any zombie within 100 yards gets a whiff of what smells to me like minty goodness and hightails it out of there like it was just set on fire. As I travel about looking at the mayhem I've caused, I think to myself, "What a wonderful world."

[KnightofNi]

The Zombie-off spray I made at the time I first created the Zombie virus itself is working beautifully. Any zombie within 100 yards gets a whiff of what smells to me like minty goodness and hightails it out of there like it was just set on fire. As I travel about looking at the mayhem I've caused, I think to myself, "What a wonderful world."

let's hope you don't run out of that or meet a zombie with no sense of smell.

[lethe]

let's hope you don't run out of that or meet a zombie with no sense of smell.

I'm well prepared for anything including mutations.
There's a special strain of the virus that I let loose in the Philly area that makes the ones there crave beard hair.
Treebeard beware!

[KnightofNi]

I'm well prepared for anything including mutations.
There's a special strain of the virus that I let loose in the Philly area that makes the ones there crave beard hair.
Treebeard beware!

you're a dick



though now i'm wondering...do zombies poop? they never seem to chew, just rip off a hunk of flesh and swallow. if their digestive systems are still in tact that would mean they are moving things along and it breaks down like living humans. i'm thinking that since they don't really bleed their systems have shut down. if their systems have shut down then they aren't moving anything through their digestive tract. if that's the case then won't their stomachs just explode from undigested rotting flesh? i'm thinking that they don't poop.

[lethe]

Here's a hint to help you survive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y

[roy-nexus-6]

though now i'm wondering...do zombies poop? they never seem to chew, just rip off a hunk of flesh and swallow. if their digestive systems are still in tact that would mean they are moving things along and it breaks down like living humans. i'm thinking that since they don't really bleed their systems have shut down. if their systems have shut down then they aren't moving anything through their digestive tract. if that's the case then won't their stomachs just explode from undigested rotting flesh? i'm thinking that they don't poop.

The 'eating' is a primal response. Swallowing moves the food to the stomach, but it isn't digested. Eventually, if a zombie eats enough, it's stomach bursts.

Smells bad 

[ducsix]

Hi.  I'm a zombie.  Not much food left out here, and we're getting kinda hungry.  Lonely too, the other zombies don't talk much, would you mind coming out for a bit to chat?  No?  Probably for the best, even though I haven't eaten in a week if I munch on one more brain I think my gut will explode.  Hope you don't mind if I sit out here for a few more days, you know, in case you decide to make a break for the 7-11 across the street.  Oh, and sorry for biting your girlfriend's ear off, but you've got to admit it was kind of funny the way she freaked out.  Bummer about your shotgun being out of shells now that you put the last round into her head.  Well, it's been nice standing here with outstrechted arms clawing at your door.  See you soon.

[Scottish]

 

[Monsterlover]

+1

[Scottish]

..... does anyone else see the irony of the "zombie" thread being in the "No Monster Content" section? 

[ducsix]

..... does anyone else see the irony of the "zombie" thread being in the "No Monster Content" section? 

Seriously, it should be in "How-To"