Friday Funnies??

[Jukie]

not a funny but maybe something to think about.

Two Glasses of Wine

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the
mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of wine...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had
some items in front of him. When the class began,
wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They
agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into
the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it
into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else He asked
once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two glasses of wine from
under the table and poured the entire contents into the
jar, effectively filling the empty space between the
sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I
want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things; your family,
your children, your health, your friends, and your
favorite passions; things that if everything else was
lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your
job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything
else; the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first, he continued,
there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life: If you spend all your time and
energy on the small Stuff.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your
happiness.

Play with your children. Take time to get medical
checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another
18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house
and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first;
the Things that really matter. Set your priorities. The
rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the
wine represented.

The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes
to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of glasses of wine with
a friend.'

[dragonworld.]

Have recent events got you thoughful RNJ??   

[Jukie]

maybe, but still have to have fun you only live once

[dragonworld.]

Yup !! Yup ! Absafrickenlootly !!

Here for a good time, not a long time !!    [moto]        [moto]

[Jukie]

so let get this forum up and moving now that im back  [moto]

[dragonworld.]

Yep, not enough mirth and frivolity while you were away !? 

[dragonworld.]

A  koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint...

when a little lizard walked past, looked up and  said,'Hey Koala! What are
you doing?'

The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed
a few joints.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he
was going to get a drink from the river. 

The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into
the river.

A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and  helped him to
the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the  matter with you?'

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been  sitting with
the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned  and fell into
the river while taking a drink. 

The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain
forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting  finishing a joint.. The
crocodile looked up and said, 


'Hey you!'

So  the koala looked down at him and said,

'Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude...

How much water did you  drink?'

[Jukie]

hheeeehhhhheee you should of heard me after my dose or morphin in the hospital

[dragonworld.]

When I had my back fused, I was seeing things coming out of the vents in the ceiling !! 

I dunno what everybody else was seeing, but I was having a good time !!   

[Jukie]

i just had goldfish problem when i was in hospital

[ducsport]

Not another one! We'll have to call you Dory 

[Jukie]

yes indeed and it was all about my new leather

[dragonworld.]

Leather What?? Whip?? CFM stiletto Boots?? Underwear?? 

[Jukie]

i think you are getting carried away Dragon

[dragonworld.]

You will go to Hell for laughing at this.


Two Nuns are riding their  bicycles through the back streets of Rome .

One leans over to the other and says, 'I've never come this way before.'

The other nun whispers, 'It's the  cobblestones'