DMF joke thread

[dolci]

I was telling a girl in the bar about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs.

"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said.
"Come on, what day was I born"?

I said, “Yesterday."

I seem to recall you tried that back in the Rhodeside days   

[fastwin]

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

There goes OJ out my nose all over the desk!!

[zooom]

I seem to recall you tried that back in the Rhodeside days   

hahahahhahaaa.....


ummmm...maybe....

[the_Journeyman]

A Mayan walks into a bar.  Sits down, and had a few rounds.  The bartender comes over and asks "Another round?'  The Mayan replies, "Well, I'd planned on finishing the calendar tonight, but what the heck, it's not the end of the world if it doesn't get finished."

JM

[zooom]

A Mayan walks into a bar.  Sits down, and had a few rounds.  The bartender comes over and asks "Another round?'  The Mayan replies, "Well, I'd planned on finishing the calendar tonight, but what the heck, it's not the end of the world if it doesn't get finished."

JM

seems like it'd be a funnier joke on Friday for some reason...LOL

[NorDog]

seems like it'd be a funnier joke on Friday for some reason...LOL

Nothing will be funny on Friday.

[Rob Hilding]

Nothing will be funny on Friday.

*threadjack*

What time is all this supposed to happen - I have some things I've be putting off, and I don't want to
waste time doing them if I won't be here on Saturday

*end jack*

[dolci]

*threadjack*

What time is all this supposed to happen - I have some things I've be putting off, and I don't want to
waste time doing them if I won't be here on Saturday

*end jack*

*jacked again*

1 a.m. tonight (or tomorrow morning - however you consider it)

*jack ended again*

[Goat_Herder]

*jacked again*

1 a.m. tonight (or tomorrow morning - however you consider it)

*jack ended again*

*jacked yet again*

it's should be midnight at UTC -6 time zone, where the Mayan's lived.  So it's 10PM tonight for me....  TIME IS RUNNING OUT!

*Jack ended yet again*

[brimo]

[sno_duc]

seems like it'd be a funnier joke on Friday for some reason...LOL

I was at work on Friday, some how DMF is on the verboden list at work. 

[kopfjäger]

I was at work on Friday, some how DMF is on the verboden list at work. 

http://www.ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=61206.msg1130015#msg1130015

[sno_duc]

I derbied   

[kopfjäger]

I derbied   

Well not really, they are different pics. 

[ducpainter]

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?