The DFWM say anything thread

[muskrat]

sorry, wife plans on keeping it...

'
not for sale anymore?   

wanna trade my S2R for some cashola?

[never2loud]

And now, for your dining enjoyment, this post from Craigslist:



Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

[El Matador]

And now, for your dining enjoyment, this post from Craigslist:



Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503javascript:void(0); U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

[fastwin]

OK, what I thought was the funniest s#@t I have ever read has now been surpassed. Now that's funny!!

[Ronr]

that's some good shit. Only the strong survive.

[El Matador]

that's some good shit. Only the strong survive.

Some M&M's need killin', though...

[svoloch]

M&Ms are murder.

[never2loud]

Karaoke is murder, Svoloch-san

[Duc L'Smart]

M&Ms are murder.

Kill 'em all, & let god sort out the dead

[Slag]

An ounce of prevention...

...is worth more than a shopping cart full of antibiotics 

[Duc L'Smart]

...is worth more than a shopping cart full of antibiotics 

that sounds like the voice of experience to me...

[pipeliner1978]

Kill 'em all, & let God sort out the dead

[svoloch]

wow.  i had no idea you guys had such strong ideas about M&Ms...  I seriously hope that I have not offended you and your M&M loving friends.  I love M&Ms too.  I just don't think we should eat them.  Their playful shapes and bright colors are sadly a natural invitation to violence on these helpless creatures, and <insert deity or philosophical paradigm> granted us dominion over these beautiful souls, not to visit our mayhem upon them, but to enjoy them and help them prosper.

<deity or philosophical paradigm> <metaphor or implied benefit> you.....  and <deity or philosophical paradigm> <metaphor or implied benefit>  us all....

-The Svoloch

[Ronr]

Has "beast with two backs" been replaced with

<metaphor or impied benefit> ? Or is that just on my iPhone?

[RED]