I feel like Rat...or Piller...

[IZ]

friggen in-san-i-ty! 

She's really telling you which days work better for her..and..in the middle of the week?!



I hope that judge is laughing at that request too!

[ZLTFUL]

So I was over at my parent's house today packing up my 18yo's stuff and putting it in the garage. Also changing the locks since she refuses to return the key.
But the worst part is we found evidence that she was cooking something while she was there and I am not talking Chef Boyardee. 

I called her to tell her that she would have to give notice before she came to pick up her shit otherwise she wouldn't be able to get in without breaking in.
She went all ex-wife on me.

The highlights:
She has 5 months to live.
Doctors say she has slightly elevated white cell count. (I replied, "Got a cold huh?")
She says that if I try to prevent her from seeing my 15yo, she is going to do everything she can to see her because she is willing to risk her life to see her face.
She tried blaming my sister in law for the vials and jars in her bedroom at my parent's. The same sister in law who hasn't lived there in over 2 years and who is currently a jail drug counselor at the local county lock-up.
She called my wife a c*nt and a pregnant dog. My wife wasn't even involved in the conversation and hasn't spoke to my 18yo in months.
She threatened to kidnap my 15yo if I kept her from her.
She also told me that I was the reason she wanted to die.

Granted, I may have pushed some buttons..."drama queen" and "grow up kid" were rather common sentiments that I expressed. I got a little bit immature after she started calling my wife names. She called me names too but that's different.

So notified the case worker in Missouri about what happened. Put all the text in an email to her. She has informed the foster care provider that if the 18yo shows up, she is to call the police because as of Friday, the judge has ordered the mother and the sister can ONLY have state supervised visitation and both must pass UAs before the visit. And the 18yo cannot be alone with the 15yo.

After she said she was done with me and never wanted to talk to me again, she called my brother and tried to guilt trip him into giving her money. The conversation apparently ended with her yelling, "You're just like my make the beast with two backsing dad!" My brother said thanks...that's a compliment. And then he hung up.

Up until recently, I felt bad...even had sympathy for her but she is spiraling fast and she has burned the bridges to anyone that was willing to help.
The juvenile court officer told me I need to just let it happen. That tough love will have to be my mantra and that she will have to be the one who fixes her.

Anyway, didn't want the weekend to get away without any baby-mama drama.

On a plus note, we are surprising my 15yo by re-furnishing the room that will become her bedroom. I am not showing favorites. I am trying to help the one who doesn't want to end up like her mother.

[ZLTFUL]

Sentencing day today for the ex-wife.
6 years with all but 120 days suspended.
Upon successful completion of 120 day shock incarceration and intensive drug treatment, she will be released on supervised probation for the remaining 6 years with any law violation equating to the full sentence being re-instated.

Basically, if she screws up, she will be in for 18 months before the possibility of parole.

18yo is pregnant doging and moaning about how unfair it is that her mommy is going to jail. 

[LowThudd]

Sounds to me like she got a slap on the wrist, considering the harm she has caused your daughters. From her behavior, I doubt he'll not eff up in the future, and will be back inside shortly. At least she is not your problem for a while.

[IZ]

Sounds to me like she got a slap on the wrist

yup

[Speedbag]

yup

+1

[hbliam]

Basically, if she screws up, she will be in for 18 months before the possibility of parole.

Sadly, as seen with her sentence, they rarely follow through on this threat.

[ZLTFUL]

So...update time...

Latest hearing, I informed the court that I was going to pursue custodial guardianship of my daughter.
Apparently, that is the discretion of the Missouri Dept of Family Services.
Who has repeatedly told me to get custody...
But now apparently wants me to ask their permission before my attorney files anything.

Ex wife is still receiving child support.
Iowa support services finally accepted a request for a hearing to present evidence on why support should be suspended indefinitely.
October 29th...and hopefully, they will finally stop it even though my lawyer has made it clear that the state will not make it retroactive and the money paid to the incarcerated ex wife since February will be considered gone.

15yo is grounded. Night before the hearing, I went upstairs while she was in the shower and smelled cigarette smoke. Considering neither me or my wife smoke, it seemed pretty cut and dry who was doing it.
She also got out of the shower and immediately flushed the toilet...no pee...and we don't have water pressure issues so if she had used it before her shower, she could have flushed it then. Most probably flushing butts.

I didn't confront her until after the hearing on the drive back.
At which point she denied it. Then I showed her a picture of her cigarette hiding spot...asked my wife to search her room while we were gone.  She found a half a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
Once we got home, I made her shred the cigarettes and smash the lighter. She wasn't too happy about that. Iowa tax stamp on the smokes so I know she got them since she has been up here.
Grounded her for 1 month. School, Work, home. No friends, no computer except to do homework, no phone.

That was a week ago.
Last night, she is sitting at the dining room table "doing her homework" on her computer. I am on my phone browsing Facebook and notice she is online.
I stand up and start walking towards her. She looks up and I see panic in her eyes...she closes out of her browser and says, "What's up?"
I asked her if she was on Facebook...she looks me straight in the face and lies to me and says "No..."
So I show her my phone which actually shows her time since she was last online (<5minutes ago)...
She then says, "Somebody must have hacked my account..."
I take her laptop from her and check her browser history...sure enough, she has been browsing Facebook and Twitter...and not only that, is badmouthing me to her friends on Twitter...
Posting: She says "Somebody must have hacked my account..." So I take her laptop from her and check her browser history and sure enough, instead of homework, she has been browsing Facebook and Twitter...and not only has she been on Twitter, but she is badmouthing me to her friends... "Grounded for a month? You haven't been a part of my life for 15 years and now you want to ground me? #dadsadouche"

I told her I would withhold further grounding until after our counseling appointment tonight in which I would bring all of the latest issues in front of the uninvolved third party and ask their advice before coming up with a suitable punishment.

Side note, in browsing her friends' Twitter posts, I discovered that this weekend's party at her friend, Maddie's house was a drinking party and all of her friends were bragging about how wasted/stoned/drunk they were.
Pretty sure that Maddie's house is now off limits. I don't give a flying make the beast with two backs if Maddie's parents are rich and let her do what she wants...they can afford to have grandkids from their 16 year old. 

[zooom]

  I don't give a flying make the beast with two backs if Maddie's parents are rich and let her do what she wants...they can afford to have grandkids from their 16 year old. 

I am pretty sure they are not rich enough to shrug off charges of contributing to the deliquency of a minor and serving alchohol to underage persons charges with the local constabulary....

[Duck-Stew]

I am pretty sure they are not rich enough to shrug off charges of contributing to the deliquency of a minor and serving alchohol to underage persons charges with the local constabulary....

+1

[ZLTFUL]

Unfortunately, a stupid Iowa statute says that law enforcement has to catch the under-aged drinking in progress to fine the parents/guardian.

[zooom]

Unfortunately, a stupid Iowa statute says that law enforcement has to catch the under-aged drinking in progress to fine the parents/guardian.

monitor the twitter feed and report the next one ?!?!?

[ZLTFUL]

So...another day, another hearing.

This was our motion to suspend child support. Yes...I have been paying child support that the State of Iowa is sending to the incarcerated mother.
And all the court documents showing my daughter in my custody were not enough to get the state to voluntarily stop child support.

So we get to the courthouse and my attorney informs me that we have been moved to a different courtroom.
We go in, judge calls the room to order and proceeds with the reason for the hearing.
Asks my attorney for his side...asks the state for their side...

We get towards the end of it all and the judge mentions that there has been a motion entered by the petitioner (my ex-wife)...this motion is a request for continuance until she can come up to Iowa and explain why she believes that the courts should not stop her child support...very humorous...so much so that the attorney for the Child Support folks chuckles out loud a couple of times.

The judge then says, "I notice that Ms. Millhouse's (ex-wife's new name) current place of residence is the Missouri state women's correctional facility...well I guess that is ample evidence right there for me to deny the motion for continuance. Mr. Arvidson (my attorney), I see your client's request as more than fair and ask the state not to contest it. Mr. (whatever the Child support attorney's name was), do you have anything else to add?"

He says, "I would like to request that we expedite this motion to suspend. Mr. West has been paying child support in full each month since this began and I would also like to request that your honor would enter in a request from the state to refund Mr. West all support paid from August 4th to present."

I honestly wasn't expecting a dime back from this but the judge agreed and now we wait for the paperwork to trickle through the system.

Next up is my motion to the state of Missouri to grant me concurrent jurisdiction so that I can proceed with custody without having to get approval from Missouri at each step of the way. Most likely that will happen as the mother has been informed that she will be living in a half-way house for a minimum of 6 to 8 months before she is allowed to even think about getting her own place.

[Monsterlover]

Progress at least.

[ducpainter]

...and they wonder why people go 'postal'.