Help. Need ideas for officiating a wedding.

[Johnny OrganDonor]

A good friend will be having her wedding at our place in two weeks and has asked me to officiate.  Preemptively, knowing how threads can get derailed, I should repeat "officiate" - not the many fun words that rhyme.  Knowing that moto heads are by nature a romantic and sentimental group, I'm asking for truly needed help here. 

Please suggest anything romantic, touching, or humorous you've seen at weddings, I really need some cool wedding ideas and/or inspiring love stories.

Thanks in advance.

[Grampa]

the giving of  monsters as gifts are a fine tradition here in Bakersfield.

[Johnny OrganDonor]

I remember.   

[the_Journeyman]

My & my wife leaving the ceremony in tux a and wedding dress on my M750 was pretty awesome. 

We rigged it so I would show up about 5 minutes late (wife was in on it) while everyone was wondering where the groom was.  I rolled up in my jacket & overpants, pulled them off to reveal a Tux and me and my best man walked into the ceremony like it was just another day.  Typical ceremony happened, we did the sand thing (wife has one color, groom has another, they pour them into a larger vessel amid a blessing of "just as these grains of sand combine into a whole will can never be separated again, this couple combines their lives hoping they can never be separated" kind of thing.   We did the recessional and I climbed on the bike, C climbed on right behind me, and we took off amid a bunch of curious, bemused and completely concerned looks from those in attendance.

  It was pretty awesome for us.  One of those "who's gonna top that" moments for the family.  I've always been the "odd" one, so I made sure it stayed that way.

JM

[Buckethead]

[Speeddog]

During a friend's ceremony, at one point the minister took a half step backward.
Which put his sash into the danger zone of the candles.
It was remarkable how high the flames got before he noticed.

It was humorous to see on video, knowing all survived unscathed.
I was told it was quite a spectacular event at the time, with part of the bride's dress getting set alight during the scuffle to get the minister's garb extinguished.

-or-

At an event long long ago, and long since reversed...
During the ceremony, the minister asked me if I would take my bride as my lawfully wedded husband.
For the first nanosecond, my thought was < WTF??? Really??? Don't you practice this shit??? >
I quickly pondered just how many of those attending would come completely unhooked upon hearing me say 'no'.
I figured the odds of my bride melting down in the next heartbeat after 'no' was decidedly not in my favor.
The final nanosecond, I concluded that the 'no' would irreparably damage the tone of the event, no matter what was said afterward.
"Yes, I do."

[Duck-Stew]

At an event long long ago, and long since reversed...
During the ceremony, the minister asked me if I would take my bride as my lawfully wedded husband.
For the first nanosecond, my thought was < WTF??? Really??? Don't you practice this shit??? >
I quickly pondered just how many of those attending would come completely unhooked upon hearing me say 'no'.
I figured the odds of my bride melting down in the next heartbeat after 'no' was decidedly not in my favor.
The final nanosecond, I concluded that the 'no' would irreparably damage the tone of the event, no matter what was said afterward.
"Yes, I do."

I'm not sayin' ANYTHING...

[Skybarney]

I do quite a few ceremonies in my balloons.  I always give two pieces of advice.

1.  Tell the guy;  If she feels it is true, it is true to her, true or not you won't win that one until she calms down, so don't try.
2. Tell the gal;  If you ask him what he is thinking and he says "Nothing" it may be true.  Men (unlike women) are capable of having moments where not a single thing goes through our heads.