hi all,
I am back visiting here .....Sorry I have been gone, sold my bike as you all know, and just been busy with life. Had a setback on surgery date but working on it. I moved into a new home, went to Puerto Rico for a few days in January when it was snowy and cold here in the Pacoific Northwest. It was wonderful to sit on a beach in my bikini drinking a beer in the middle of January on my birthday. Sucks to be me! hahahahahahahahaha
I have missed you guys and wanted to say hi to all of you.
Peace,
Erica.

aha - there you are 

Share some stories, will you

 

Great to hear from you.

hey BGB...nice of you to stop in!

OK I have a funny tale to tell but I just got in from work, its 5.39am PST and I am really tired. I'll pen it at the weekend.

 

welcome back!


we must all go into excile every now and then

Quote from: badgalbetty on March 02, 2012, 05:41:57 AM
OK I have a funny tale to tell but I just got in from work, its 5.39am PST and I am really tired. I'll pen it at the weekend.

Tease

Hey. Good to hear from you.

Hi Erica!

Still driving the cab?

Welcome back E!

Where's that story? 

                                                   NOT WORK SAFE NOT WORK SAFE NOT WORK SAFE NOT WORK SAFE

                                                         OFFENSIVE  OFFENSIVE  OFFENSIVE  OFFENSIVE TO SOME

so I pick up this guy the other day at a bar here in Puddletown.He pours himself into the backseat of my cab and announces he wants to go home.I say where is home and he tells me. A minute laster he says hey driver you wanna hear a funny story. Sure I replied.Ok he says ....
Years ago I was a punk rocker in Salt Lake City Utah. I had a multicolored mohawk studded leather coat plaid pants high boots etc etc. Picture London 1975.... Anyway he says guess where I worked? I said I have not a clue . I worked in a sex shop in SLC selling people all kinds of things. How was that I ask? "Boring as hell, SLC is full of prudes and they dont buy much stuff, so I would pass my time drinking beer smoking dope and watching porn with the occasional trip to the can to rub one out..." I was kinda goggling to myself.Anyway he says "I always wanted to see a band and no one ever comes to SLC back then and I had never see a concert. Then one day a band comes to town and plays the local venue. Its The Indigo girls.I started laughing to myself....He says "I had no idea who they were but I knew they were lesbian so thats ok with me. I did not have any money for a tciket seeing as I spend most of my wages getting wasted at work so I have to hatch a plan....
I decide to call my friend Tim and empty out the sex store of all the products . We had dildo's strap-ons lotions porn ,Movies potions lingerie etc you name it we had it. The car was packed to the gills. We decided to put a 10% mark up on all of the products. We get to the venue, hair looking good, studded leather coats on,we were stylin he says. There are 10,000 lesbians lined up outside and I pop the trunk he says. I got dildos strap ons you name it ladies we got We got porn , we got lotions we got..... He says they got mobbed and in 45 minutes they had virtually sold out of the inventory. Seems they like those things after all in slc he says. Anyway we had a few hundred bucks from our labors on top of the boss's money so that was ours. We bought tickets to the show and we were in. Its just me and my friend Tim we were 18 , horny as all get out half drunk and 10,000 lesbians. We are so gonna get laid he says. Then he realizes that Lesbians dont like men as sexual partners and he is very soon dissapointed as is his friend tim. The music starts and its......shite. He said they could not stand it. So they left and decided to go to the bar and get wasted. After a couple of beers they went out back and got stoned, back in for another beer and this carries on until closing. They are wiped- completely done. My fare then tells tim they have to get back to the sex shop put the last unsold couple of black sex aids back in inventory and put all the moneyy in the till and set the alarm. So off they go........completely wasted and surprise surprise its not long before the plod has them in their sights and the lights come on. The cops stop them and makes them get out.....The cop searches them. He looks in the car and sees a couple of dildo's in the back seat and there is an overpowering smell of weed and beer. The cop then makes them turf out their wallets, goes thru the dash and car from hood to trunk. My fare and his friend Tim are sitting in front of the cop car hands on their heads while the search is going on....
After a bit, the cop comes over to them and this is the conversation.... OK GUYS  I have found some dildos and a strap on harness in the car, a ponrobook, there is beer cans all over the place I found some weed there is $5k in small bills in the glove box ticket stubbs to the indigo girls for tonight you guys have mohawk hair and studded leathers and smell so bad of illegal substances what the make the beast with two backs is going on here. So my fare , bless his heart asks the cop if he can stand up and talk. The cop agrees. My fare then asks the cop if he wants the truth or wants a lie. The cop says the truth,its always better.
My fare the proceeds to tell the cop the whole story , of his sad life of not seeing a rock show, working in the sex shop getting ripped and drunk selling the dildos etc etc etc. The cop after a couple of minutes is standing there crying and laughing his ass off.
OK boys he says Dya think you can make it back to the sex shop without hitting a parked car or running anyone over. Sure says Tim. I think I can The cop says there is no way I am gonna attempt to write this shit up because its just too funny. Get out of here you bozos.....
and that my friends is just one of the stories I get told on a wintry rainy night by my wonderful fares in Puddletown. I hope you laughed and were not offended.
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