Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 09, 2008, 06:48:17 PMI wish women didn't fart and didn't need to -- and didn't produce any kind of disgusting gas like men do.

As it turns out, gaseous emissions are the key to female beauty. Good one.

I wish northern California would stop being on fire.

Northern California is having a mini ice age that will last for twenty years with the average temperature being 0 degrees.  Fortunatly it doesn't make it past the Rockies and Texas is now a constant 70 degrees.

I wish for a magic lamp with a genie so yall will stop corrupting my wishes.

Quote from: porschaholic on July 09, 2008, 07:21:26 PM
Northern California is having a mini ice age that will last for twenty years with the average temperature being 0 degrees.  Fortunatly it doesn't make it past the Rockies and Texas is now a constant 70 degrees.

Awesome. Studded tires on the bikes, and I'm set.

Quote from: porschaholic on July 09, 2008, 07:21:26 PMI wish for a magic lamp with a genie so yall will stop corrupting my wishes.

Naturally, the genie also corrupts your wishes. Plus, you only get three, as opposed to the infinite wishes you get here.

I wish it wasn't now.

Quote from: x136 on July 09, 2008, 07:38:27 PM
I wish it wasn't now.

Thanks to the passage of time, it isn't. However your wish must be granted, so you always find yourself about 4 seconds behind the "now". People think you're stupid, and you become insanely accident prone because you have a 4 second reaction time.

I wish I were omnipotent

Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 09, 2008, 07:58:22 PM
Thanks to the passage of time, it isn't. However your wish must be granted, so you always find yourself about 4 seconds behind the "now". People think you're stupid, and you become insanely accident prone because you have a 4 second reaction time.

Ah, so nothing changes. I sure dodged a bullet there. (By coincidence, obviously.)

Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 09, 2008, 07:58:22 PMI wish I were omnipotent

Unfortunately, your cellular phone cuts out an an inopportune time while making this wish. Your wish of impotence is granted.

I wish we all lived in a yellow submarine.

Quote from: x136 on July 09, 2008, 08:21:28 PM

I wish we all lived in a yellow submarine.

We do. You should have used your wish to wish that we had not all had nothing but beans, eggs, and coffee today.

I wish for a very nice bottle of port. Been in a port mood lately.

Quote from: Manny on July 09, 2008, 08:23:48 PM
We do. You should have used your wish to wish that we had not all had nothing but beans, eggs, and coffee today.

I wish for a very nice bottle of port. Been in a port mood lately.

A long lost uncle bequeaths to you cases and cases of port nay liquid ambrosia.
Unfortunately your mere mortal GI tract can't handle this nectar of the gods and you get the uncontrolable squirts 2 out 3 times, 14 hours after consumption.

I hope to meet a much of DMFers at this years GABF.

Quote from: porschaholic on July 09, 2008, 06:25:40 PM
I wish for bacon flavored beer.

I have had smoked beer from Germany that tastes like sausage.

Quote from: sno_duc on July 09, 2008, 11:18:10 PM
A long lost uncle bequeaths to you cases and cases of port nay liquid ambrosia.
Unfortunately your mere mortal GI tract can't handle this nectar of the gods and you get the uncontrolable squirts 2 out 3 times, 14 hours after consumption.

I hope to meet a much of DMFers at this years GABF.

You do but they have all been turned into Vertical Scope flesh eating zombies.  You run out of 12 gauge ammo.  You get eaten by the zombies and they shit you out into a giant flashing ad banner.

I wish for world peas.

Quote from: me on July 09, 2008, 11:48:04 PM
You do but they have all been turned into Vertical Scope flesh eating zombies.  You run out of 12 gauge .45 acp ammo.  You get eaten by the zombies and they shit you out into a giant flashing ad banner.

I wish for world peas.

fixed it for you.I'm old school give me a 1911 any day

Quote from: me on July 09, 2008, 11:48:04 PM
You do but they have all been turned into Vertical Scope flesh eating zombies.  You run out of 12 gauge ammo.  You get eaten by the zombies and they shit you out into a giant flashing ad banner.

I wish for world peas.

Your wish is granted and the world is full of green peas but you get the runs from eating too many peas.

I wish I could be 18 years old again.

Quote from: NuTTs on July 10, 2008, 03:24:42 AM
Your wish is granted and the world is full of green peas but you get the runs from eating too many peas.

I wish I could be 18 years old again.

You are 18 years old, and a dog. You are well past your prime and arthritic and overweight and somewhat blind and deaf. Your owners take you to a white room that smells funny and a mean man stick something up your ass and leaves it there for a while. You hear them mumble something about you going to sleep...

I wish I was a veterinarian.

Quote from: BWClark on July 10, 2008, 04:35:57 AM
You are 18 years old, and a dog. You are well past your prime and arthritic and overweight and somewhat blind and deaf. Your owners take you to a white room that smells funny and a mean man stick something up your ass and leaves it there for a while. You hear them mumble something about you going to sleep...

I wish I was a veterinarian.

Your wish is granted..you are a veterinarian in a sick elephant hospice where you get poo´d on by sick, ill elephants and vomited on occasionally. Part of the detox procedure after a hard days work putting thermometers up elly´s behind is that you get it done to you too... with an elephant size thermometer causing you all sorts of pain that ends up causing you unimaginable joy.

I wish I was in Aruba..

Quote from: NuTTs on July 10, 2008, 06:42:35 AM
I wish I was in Aruba..

Boing, you're in Aruba.  Unfortunately, she did not give you permission to be there and now you're in trouble for sexual assault of a transvestite. 

I wish I was on the island of Aruba, well stocked with good food and drink and surrounded by friendly, non-psychotic, non-zombie people.

Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 10, 2008, 07:18:12 AM
Boing, you're in Aruba.  Unfortunately, she did not give you permission to be there and now you're in trouble for sexual assault of a transvestite. 

I wish I was on the island of Aruba, well stocked with good food and drink and surrounded by friendly, non-psychotic, non-zombie people.

your wish comes true... you are in aruba, you have a fantastic oceanside lunch and cocktail with some really nice people, but get so sunburned during it that you spend the rest of your time there in your room, alone, shivering and crying.

i wish i didn't sunburn so easily