Quote from: CairnsDuc on July 11, 2008, 09:46:18 PM
Granted. but your house has been destroyed by a freak Frogurt Explosion

I wish I had the body of a God!

Granted, now you don't exist.

I wish I could freeze time just long enough to punch people in the face (that piss me off), and then when time unfreezes, they will not know what happened.  All they know is  that their face feels like sh!t.

Quote from: CairnsDuc on July 11, 2008, 09:46:18 PM
Granted. but your house has been destroyed by a freak Frogurt Explosion

I wish I had the body of a God!

Granted but it's The God of Fertility.

I wish Red Bull made a Slush Puppy.

^ ^

Try again!

Quote from: DarkStaR on July 11, 2008, 10:03:58 PM
I wish I could freeze time just long enough to punch people in the face (that piss me off), and then when time unfreezes, they will not know what happened.  All they know is  that their face feels like sh!t.

Granted, but you keep breaking your fingers when you smash their frozen, unyielding faces.

I wish I could be a bigger asshole at work.

Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 12, 2008, 12:02:38 AM
I wish I could be a bigger asshole at work.

You now weigh 350lbs.

I wish I had one of them new iPhones.

Quote from: BWClark on July 12, 2008, 04:17:09 AM
You now weigh 350lbs.

I wish I had one of them new iPhones.

Granted.. but it´s lodged between your rectum and large intestine, you dirty dirty boy.

I wish the summer wasn´t so hot

Quote from: NuTTs on July 12, 2008, 05:34:59 AM
Granted.. but it´s lodged between your rectum and large intestine, you dirty dirty boy.

I wish the summer wasn´t so hot

nice cool summer granted.. but it's lodged between your rectum and large intestine...WTF?

i wish my riding buddy wasn't such a pussy and could tell his wife that he is riding today instead of moving furniture.  around the living room

Granted,  He tells his wife he's going riding.  On a pocket bike.  Enjoy your day in first gear with him.

I wish my gutters would clean themselves.

Quote from: Monsterlover on July 13, 2008, 11:59:32 AM
Granted,  He tells his wife he's going riding.  On a pocket bike.  Enjoy your day in first gear with him.

I wish my gutters would clean themselves.

Granted: Your guitars are now fully sentient and can do shit to and for themselves. Unfortunately, this also means they tell you what they really think about your sorry-ass playing skills and demand equal rights and full union pay in order to be played.

Wish I had a full time team of servants to handle all the crap work in my life.

Granted.  You have a full team of servants.  One of them is the "Drunken Monkey" beater who kicks you ass for not knowing the difference between gutters, which handle rain water, and guitars, which make sounds.

I still wish my gutters would clean themselves.

Granted. They clean themselves regularly. Problem is, you never know where they're going to put all the crap they clean out of themselves, but its always somewhere in your house. One week it shows up on your living room carpet. Next week, it drops out of the ceiling onto you while you're sleeping. Week after that, it ends up in your kitchen cabinets, all over the clean dishes.

I wish my bike didn't need an oil change and a rear tire.

Your wish is granted, but now you need a front tire, chain, and front sprocket.

I wish my doberman would stop barking

granted, it's hard to bark with a mouth full of your throat.

i wish there was more motorcycle racing on TV today

Granted. There is 5 different channels with bike racing on right now. Unfortunatly your TV shorts out, burns your house down, and takes your bike with it. But hey, you get to stay at a Holiday Inn Express tonight.

I wish I had more time.

Quote from: porschaholic on July 13, 2008, 01:20:10 PM
Granted. There is 5 different channels with bike racing on right now. Unfortunatly your TV shorts out, burns your house down, and takes your bike with it. But hey, you get to stay at a Holiday Inn Express tonight.

I wish I had more time.

Granted. You have more time, 5 minutes to be exact... before you´re locked up in your cell at the high security prison.

I wish bacon was low fat & low cholesterol.