I am just walking in the door from work when my phone starts ringing. It *looks* like the number for my daughter's school down in Missouri so I ignore it. They call about 5 times a week with announcements. So I am jaded.

But they call back...again...and again and again...then I get a text from my youngest daughter..."Dad, you need to answer that call. It's important."

Phone starts ringing again. And I answer it.

It is my ex-wife's ex-sister in law, Carolyn. Her and my ex wife stayed friends after her second and third divorces. My ex wife's life sort of fell apart after we split up but I got my shit together and went forward.

Anyway, Carolyn informs me that my youngest daughter has just been made a ward of the state of Missouri. But Carolyn has been granted temporary custody until the hearing.
What hearing?
Well apparently, my ex wife and her boyfriend had a nice meth lab set up in the bedroom at his place. Turns out that my ex's third husband has gotten out of jail, tracked her down to that house and commences to whoop the snot out of her. Then he bails, goes to the local sheriff's office and turns himself in...and makes mention of the meth lab.
So the sheriff goes to investigate and finds enough meth and an active lab to make it a federal level case.
They arrest my ex wife and her boyfriend and take them to the jail.
They send a deputy to the ex's house and find my 2 daughters there. My middle daughter just turned 18 today. My youngest is 15. (My oldest is with a different woman and has nothing to do with this fascinating story) They transport them both to the law enforcement center and make them both take drug tests.
My youngest is clean. My middle daughter tests positive for meth. They also find a small amount on her...enough to pop a possession charge.

So, because they are in Missouri, my youngest has been made a ward of the state. Fortunately, Carolyn is a state certified foster care provider. They do a walk through of her home and place my youngest in her home. I don't like Carolyn all that much but...it is better than the alternative.

As if it weren't weird enough, I call down to the sheriff's department in Missouri and they inform me that even though I have joint custody, their jurisdiction supersedes my parental rights. But they are willing to hold a hearing about custody sometime in the next 30 to 60 days.
Seriously? I am her father. I have loads of paperwork that says so. I have a court order from the state of Iowa that says so and says that I have joint custody.

I call my attorney (friends with him outside of the courtroom...we are both "single" fathers). He can't do much tonight but he will start making calls first thing in the morning.
My middle daughter was released on her own recognizance but has since disappeared. Her boyfriend is in rehab and she has recently alienated most of her friends so no idea where she is. She had no license, no car and no money so I am *hoping* she is back at her mom's house at least. If I don't hear anything from her by tomorrow afternoon, I will be heading down there to try and find her.

Everything seems surreal. The odd part is that I am not surprised in the least about the whole meth lab thing with their mom. My wife and I both noticed a serious change in my ex wife when we were down there to drop my girls off after Christmas. We both joked that she looked like she was living on equal doses of meth and pixie sticks. Guess we weren't too far off.

I was speaking with my youngest a bit ago and she wants to come up here but can't until after the hearing. But she was talking about how her mom was doing it for quite some time and her boyfriend talked her into helping make it and how her mom was telling both girls all about it.
When I asked her why she didn't call me, she said it was because she thought I would get mad. Gee...ya make the beast with two backsin' think?

Anyway, I am mentally drained. Just feel like when everything in my life is sunshine and roses, I find a big fat make the beast with two backsing pile of cow shit to step in.

I have no real advice, the situation is far beyond anything I've ever had to deal with.

Best of luck!

Others here should have something more directly helpful to say.

Just needed a sounding board. Sort of like you're walking down the street and some random person just hauls off and punches you in the dick for no apparent reason.

I'm reading this after getting home from our eighth weekly foster parenting certification class (long story), and this is as bad as anything we've heard in class - and they're trying to scare us a little.

All I can think to add is that your willingness to go to the rescue speaks volumes to your daughters right now.  Strong and steady is something they probably haven't seen since the last time they were with you.

Oh, and good luck. Lots of it.

Damn...sorry to hear that she got the kids involved.  


My TV is down though so I guess I know what to tune into for the next couple months!  

Hoping for some positive outcomes!

Quote from: triangleforge on February 28, 2013, 09:03:31 PM
All I can think to add is that your willingness to go to the rescue speaks volumes to your daughters right now.  Strong and steady is something they probably haven't seen since the last time they were with you.

Oh, and good luck. Lots of it.

Quote from: IZ on February 28, 2013, 10:48:13 PM
Damn...sorry to hear that she got the kids involved.  Hoping for some positive outcomes!

+ INFINITY!!!

My attorney has made several calls so far and hasn't gotten a hold of anyone who can give him any answers yet outside of general, "this is what Missouri law says" kind of crap.

A whole lot of hurrying up and waiting going on right now.

My thoughts are with you...

I've had some unsavory dealings w/my ex-wife and my kid but nothing like you've outlined...

Hi... My name is Joel, I'm also a member of the " i put my penis in satan years ago" club

Initial custody hearing on Monday afternoon for my youngest. My middle daughter said she would "think about" coming and staying with us. She is staying with a friend but won't tell me where.

The process for custody of my youngest goes like this:
1. Initial hearing...informal and only establishes the state's right to take custody. They can also mention to the DHS officer that I want custody.
2. Formal hearing to request custody. April 1st. At that point the state of Missouri requests a home study from the state of Iowa on my residence/person.
3. Wait. The case worker said that it could take up to 6 months before Missouri grants me custody. She doesn't doubt they will but the process is "time consuming".

BTW, for anyone who is curious, this is what my ex wife is being charged with:
1) FELONY POSSESSION OF A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE- METHAMPHETAMINE
2) FELONY ATTEMPT TO MANUFACTURE A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE- METHAMPHETAMINE
3) FELONY DISTRIBUTION OF A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE- METHAMPHETAMINE
4) FELONY CHILD ENDANGERMENT
5) UNLAWFUL USE OF DRUG PARAPHERNALIA

4 felonies and a serious misdemeanor in Missouri.
On top of that, more federal charges are pending as they apparently found a large number of guns, knives, swords and "maces" along with the drugs. They also found a mecury switch rigged up to a primitive gumpowder and gasoline bomb in her boyfriend's car.

All in all, I am pretty sure that my ex won't see our daughters outside of a prison visiting area for a very long time.

as Guy Fieri would say....

Winne Winner chicken dinner!

good luck and I am sorry that you have to go through this arduous process...but it sounds like it may be for what is best in all of this...

Quote from: ZILBERT on February 28, 2013, 08:52:26 PM
Sort of like you're walking down the street and some random person just hauls off and punches you in the dick for no apparent reason.

This happens to you too?!?!?!? 

But seriously, that is a mess....and good luck. This makes my occasionally f'ed up life seem like a walk in the park.

HFS

dude, I am so sorry..

Quote from: ducatiz on March 01, 2013, 12:35:14 PM
HFS

dude, I am so sorry..

Yeah, that's about all I can think as well 

Crossing my fingers for a good outcome my friend.

Quotegood luck and I am sorry that you have to go through this arduous process...but it sounds like it may be for what is best in all of this...

believe it or not this is the truth, it gets your girls out of the s**t. as soon as you can scoop up them up, bring them home and give them all the love they deserve.

be strong