Today I had a student do something to me today, that if I were a female, would be considered inappropriate unwanted sexual behavior.

He.... thought he was being funny. I.... found no humor in it.

Other students saw it happen and thought it was funny, and another staff member may or may not have witnessed it.

I wrote up the appropriate behavior referral paperwork and showed it to the campus supervisor (our security dude)

His recommendation was that I inform the administration, but was chock full of the same reserve I am currently feeling with regards to how to handle this.

My problem with this is.....

The kid has a shitload of emotional and behavior problems. His home-life is shit, and it filters into what goes on at school.

He's in counseling for a variety of issues (drug, violence, etc..) The last thing I want to do is tack on something that will literally stick with him for life (a sexual predator label), but I also feel that if nothing is done ( via me keeping my mouth shut), that I will in some ways be green-lighting future (far worse) behaviors.

make the beast with two backs....

I have a hard time writing people off as absolute worthless shits, and have witnessed the turnaround of those who society has labeled lost, so branding him with a label the courts will more than likely stick him with, worries me, but the idea of him assaulting somebody weaker/without a voice, worries me even more.

Stomp out the flame.

He's already written his history... don't allow him to beast with two backs up someone else's.  You have an obligation to do so.

Report it and recommend remedial action rather than punitive action due to mitigating circumstances. Kid's obviously messed up, so you protect society and help the kid at the same time.

Quote from: koko64 on November 29, 2016, 06:29:53 PM
Report it and recommend remedial action rather than punitive action due to mitigating circumstances. Kid's obviously messed up, so you protect society and help the kid at the same time.

Not sure what your options are, but this ^ sounds most appropriate.

What is the age of this lad?

You actually give a shit which helps you be good at your job, that's clearly why it's vexing you. It's the dialectic of human service work. I suggest a balanced response and at risk of ruining my advice I offer some comedy relief. You need to also laugh about this. I'm your age and all washed up, so you must still be damn pretty.

I have used humour as a lead in to a more serious lesson when working with young offenders/felons in the past. For example I probably would have said "I didnt know you felt that way son, but look at me you cant help yourself, don't be too hard on him guys he's only human". Then again to the group, "What would you do to him if he did that to your kid sister or mama?", (probably while holding him in a rear naked choke or arm/wrist lock). I'm guessing I probably had more leeway in my past role than you do. If you are a teacher you dont have that luxury.

Totally not trying to discourage feedback, but....

The reality of the situation is honestly overwhelming.
If it's a human issue that's got Grampa (AKA BP) vexed, there's little hope of any substantive help coming from anywhere short of a trans-existence communique' from Mother Teresa.

True. People account for the physical and intellectual labour of a job, but often dont realise the emotional labour involved in some people's work. It's a significant cost incurred in some occupations for sure.

Quote from: koko64 on November 29, 2016, 06:29:53 PM
Report it and recommend remedial action rather than punitive action due to mitigating circumstances. Kid's obviously messed up, so you protect society and help the kid at the same time.

If possible.  Is there someone in administration with whom you can discuss the situation off record?

Quote from: Speeddog on November 29, 2016, 08:22:56 PM
Not sure what your options are, but this ^ sounds most appropriate.

What is the age of this lad?


[/quote.   

14]

Young enough to have a decent chance of being brought back onto the right path.

Yep.

Because shit was seen and the subsequent conversation with the student overheard, I am forced in having to bring it to the admins attention. Ultimately what happens to the student will be their call, but  I know they will ultimately ask me if I want to press charges, and that's where I'm conflicted.

My opinion on the how and why of kids behavior like this has been altered over the past few years. Some of that has to do with what I've learned when I got my degree, but most of it has to do with getting to know these kids on a personal level.

So many of them have been told that they are worthless pieces of shit from those people who are supposed to be their source of love and support, do eventually just stop being kids, and start becoming what they been told they are. It's hard to blame most of these kids for where they are and how they behave after you have met their guardians. Keep in mind, that's not an excuse and dismissal of their actions, but after awhile, just locking a kid up, for every wrong step, just solidifies the idea to the kid that he or she is worthless, and at that point, they just give up, and really stop caring about everything. I've seen that in kids, little kids, and it f'n kills me. Especially after having witnessed kids have the " pulling my own head out of  my ass" epiphany.

All that being said.... I know that if a kid will do what he did to a much larger than than himself member of staff, he'll have no problem doing it to someone his own size. And that reality hurts just me just as bad.

Quote from: koko64 on November 29, 2016, 08:43:45 PM
You actually give a shit which helps you be good at your job, that's clearly why it's vexing you. It's the dialectic of human service work. I suggest a balanced response and at risk of ruining my advice I offer some comedy relief. You need to also laugh about this. I'm your age and all washed up, so you must still be damn pretty.

I have used humour as a lead in to a more serious lesson when working with young offenders/felons in the past. For example I probably would have said "I didnt know you felt that way son, but look at me you cant help yourself, don't be too hard on him guys he's only human". Then again to the group, "What would you do to him if he did that to your kid sister or mama?", (probably while holding him in a rear naked choke or arm/wrist lock). I'm guessing I probably had more leeway in my past role than you do. If you are a teacher you dont have that luxury.

I pulled him out of the classroom and asked him if he was sure that he wanted to spend the rest of his life explaining to potential girlfriends,  job interviewers, and landlords how he earned a sex offender title feeling up an old man.

 

Thats worse than doing hard time.