THANK YOU GUYS!!! Lorved those, in this page! - Chris

One Maori says to another: "hey bro, what's a Hindu?"

  The second Maori replies "lays eggs bro"   

 Catholic priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off
and enjoying a round of golf.

The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing.
He missed the ball entirely and said "Shit, I missed."

The good Sister told him to watch his language.

On his next swing, he missed again. "Shit, I missed."

"Father, I'm not going to play with you if you keep swearing,"
the nun said tartly.

The priest promised to do better and the round continued.

On the 4th tee, he misses again. The usual comment followed.

Sister is really mad now and says, "Father John, God is going to
strike you dead if you keep swearing like that."

On the next tee, Father John swings and misses again.
"Shit, I missed."

A terrible rumble is heard and a gigantic bolt of lightning comes
out of the sky and strikes Sister Marie dead in her tracks.



And from the sky comes a booming voice .......







"Shit, I missed." 

Her y'are ladies 

Why is a Christmas tree better than a man?






It's always erect, Stays up for 12 days and nights, Has cute balls, And looks good with the lights on!

(Beer goggles??)

yes yes yes i agree go the xmas tree

Quote from: Jukie on December 19, 2008, 12:58:23 AM
yes yes yes i agree go the xmas tree

Thought ya would !!   

THE BOTTLE OF WINE



For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:



Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.



As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.



With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.



Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman.



The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.



'What in bag?' asked the old woman?



Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'



The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.



Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:



'Good trade......'


There you are ladies ( and others  )

i think i should get more for betty than 1 bottle of wine

Quote from: Jukie on December 30, 2008, 01:26:02 AM
i think i should get more for betty than 1 bottle of wine

Are you greasing Betty by any chance Jukie??   

ssshhh he doesn't know yet 

Four bottles of wine?

I would have got more pigs for you!

The smoker, the alcoholic, & the homosexual


Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss
their options. One was an Alcoholic, one was a Chain-Smoker, and
one was a Homosexual.

The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you
indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

The men left the doctor's office; each convinced that he would
never again indulge himself in his vice

While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the
suburbs, they passed a bar. The Alcoholic, hearing the loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how
seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.

The Homosexual looked at the Chain-Smoker and said, "You know if
you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead." 

Quote from: dragonworld on January 03, 2009, 05:29:44 AM
The smoker, the alcoholic, & the homosexual


Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss
their options. One was an Alcoholic, one was a Chain-Smoker, and
one was a Homosexual.

The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you
indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."

The men left the doctor's office; each convinced that he would
never again indulge himself in his vice

While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the
suburbs, they passed a bar. The Alcoholic, hearing the loud music and smelling the ale, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.

His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how
seriously they must take the doctor's words. As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning.

The Homosexual looked at the Chain-Smoker and said, "You know if
you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead." 

very very funny Dragon

Dragon, as a blatantly homosexual man, I find that joke to be......simply fabulous !