Get a room!  Oh, yeah, you already have one.   

We got four floors, stairs and lots of cabling...oh and a video camera....Let the games begin!!!
   I'm just sayin'   

 

Why did scenes from Mr. and Mrs. Smith just leap into my head?     

Quote from: bonfy on January 28, 2009, 02:35:07 PM


Why did scenes from Mr. and Mrs. Smith just leap into my head?     

SHHHHHH   



smart ass    

Sent from anonymous friend  ( ),   found on Craigslist.      I'm not a fan of long stories or jokes.  But hang in there as long as you can.               you'll get the point right off the bat. 


> Craigslist message to a mugger....
>
>
> 
>
> I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that
> you demanded I hand
> over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my
> girlfriend. You also asked
> for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you
> somehow come across this
> message. I'd like to
> apologize.
>
> I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my
> pistol after you took
> my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a
> reason that evening, and it
> wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had
> just bought me that
> Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for
> Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder
> holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's
> a very intimidating
> weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
>
> I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking
> back to wherever
> you'd come from with that brown
> sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm
> sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving
> your shoes, cell phone,
> and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any
> of your buddies to
> come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of
> calling your mother, or
> "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and
> explaining to her your
> situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I
> gave your shoes to one
> of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along
> with all of the cash
> in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a
> dumpster.
>
> I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell.
> They'll be on
> your
> bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel
> recently shut down the
> line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a
> day now, so I
> don't know what's going on with that. I hope they
> haven't
> permanently cut off your service. I was about to make
> some threatening phone
> calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
>
> So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough
> on you when you did this
> whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up
> to you. I'm
> sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to
> help you out.
> I'd
> like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the
> pants. What
> brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also
> like to apologize
> for not killing you and instead making you walk back
> home humiliated. I'm
> hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in
> life. Next time you
> might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email
> me and we'll do
> lunch
> and laundry. Peace!

     
 

 

       Drill  Sergeant Joe B. Fricks Rules For A  Gunfight   

RULES  FOR A GUN, KNIFE, BASEBALL BAT OR FIST  FIGHT

1.  Forget about knives, bats and fists. Bring a gun.  Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your  friends who have guns. Bring four times the ammunition you  think you could ever need.

2.  Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice.  Ammunition is cheap - life is expensive. If you shoot  inside, buckshot is your friend. A new wall is cheap -  funerals are expensive.

3.  Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a  slow miss. 

4.  If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not  moving fast enough or using cover  correctly.

5.  Move away from your attacker and go to cover. Distance is  your friend. (Bulletproof cover and diagonal or lateral  movement are preferred.)

6.  If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a  semi or full-automatic long gun and a friend with a long  gun.

7.  In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber,  stance, or tactics. They will only remember who  lived.

8.  If you are not shooting, you should be communicating,  reloading, and running. Yell "Fire!" Why "Fire"? Cops will  come with the Fire Department, sirens often scare off the  bad guys, or at least cause then to lose concentration and  will.... And who is going to summon help if you yell  "Intruder," "Glock" or "Winchester?" 

9.  Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will  be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent  accuracy of the gun.

10.  Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they  should have to beat you to death with it because it is  empty.

11.  Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one  you lose.

12.  Have a plan.

13.  Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work. "No  battle plan ever survives 10 seconds past first contact  with an enemy."

14.  Use cover or concealment as much as possible, but  remember, sheetrock walls and the like stop nothing but  your pulse when bullets tear through  them.

15.  Flank your adversary when possible. Protect  yours.

16.  Don't drop your guard.

17.  Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees. Practice  reloading one-handed and off-hand shooting. That's how you  live if hit in your "good" side. 

18.  Watch their hands. Hands kill. Smiles, frowns and other  facial expressions don't (In God we trust. Everyone else  keep your hands where I can see them.) 

19.  Decide NOW to always be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly  ENOUGH.

20.  The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will  get.

21.  Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill  everyone you meet if necessary, because they may want to  kill you.

22.  Be courteous to everyone, overly friendly to no  one.

23.  Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong  commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and  de-escalation.

24.  Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of  which does not start with anything smaller than  "4".

25.  Use a gun that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain  when an Angel blows the powder from the flintlock of your  musket." At a practice session, throw you gun into the  mud, then make sure it still works. You can clean it  later.

26.  Practice shooting in the dark, with someone shouting at  you, when out of breath, etc. 

27.  Regardless of whether justified or not, you will feel sad  about killing another human being. It is better to be sad  than to be room temperature. 

28.  The only thing you EVER say afterwards is, "He said he was  going to kill me. I believed him. I'm sorry, Officer, but  I'm very upset now. I can't say anything more. Please  speak with my attorney." 
 
Finally,  Drill Sergeant Frick's Rules For Un-armed  Combat.

1:  Never be unarmed.

2:  If you have your hands, your feet, your mind and your  Spirit as an American Soldier, Sailor, Airman, Marine or  Coastie, you are never unarmed. 

3.  I would add "Bringing a Good  Jewish Girl" wouldn't  hurt either! 

Thought I was laughin' my ass off...       til i saw the last pic.

DIE ZOMBIE make the beast with two backsERS             

Ah, screw em all and let the paramedics clean it up

Oooh, I got a new toy from the boys at Springfield last Friday.

Sadly, all of my guns were lost in a traginc boating accident, so i can't post pictures.

Quote from: Count Desmo on February 04, 2009, 08:49:35 AM
Oooh, I got a new toy from the boys at Springfield last Friday.

Sadly, all of my guns were lost in a traginc boating accident, so i can't post pictures.

You're jokin', right?

Quote from: kingbaby on February 04, 2009, 08:52:45 AM
You're jokin', right?

holy make the beast with two backs my balls i hope u really are jokin......

Quote from: ducmouse on February 04, 2009, 09:10:12 AM
holy make the beast with two backs my balls i hope u really are jokin......

DucMouse, is there something you haven't told us?      This puts a whole new spin on the nipple dance. 



And, Count....WHAT?!

Hey, this is a public internet forum.  Everything I post here regarding guns is absolutely true.

Quote from: Dusty on February 04, 2009, 09:18:23 AM
DucMouse, is there something you haven't told us?      This puts a whole new spin on the nipple dance. 



And, Count....WHAT?!

well i havent been up to denver in awhile so my passing of Trinidad is done! it toook a year but the transform is complete 

Quote from: Count Desmo on February 04, 2009, 09:35:32 AM
Hey, this is a public internet forum.  Everything I post here regarding guns is absolutely true.

....why did u have guns on boat anyways?!?! going to shot the fish?!?! 

Quote from: ducmouse on February 04, 2009, 09:10:12 AM
holy make the beast with two backs my balls i hope u really are jokin......

Shhhhaaaammmmmm Woooowwwwww