Quote from: That Nice Guy Beck! on February 15, 2009, 09:49:16 PM
the whole marriage thing how is it folks?
is it hard work?
do you really start to hate the other person and secretly plot their murder after a few years?
sex? any?
I'm at a cross roads just trying to get some 411
Thanks
Bek

Why do you ask?

LA

Ask yourself this question and if the answer is YES ...then you shouldn't get married ! 

Are you a selfish bastard ?             Dolph     

After nearly 8 years of marriage, I'm still slowly wearing her down.

asking for advice about motorcycles on the internet..............ok
asking for advice about marriage on the internet.........maybe
asking for advice about marriage on a motorcycle forum.......no

Quote from: That Nice Guy Beck! on February 15, 2009, 09:49:16 PM
the whole marriage thing how is it folks?It's great!
is it hard work?Yup
do you really start to hate the other person and secretly plot their murder after a few years?Yes. . .and no.
sex? any?Oh, hell yes!!
I'm at a cross roads just trying to get some 411Best advice: Live with her for at least a year first.

Thanks
Bek

so it sucks huh
f it im going the al pacino way lol

My parents were married 48 years in 1995 when my Mom died from Cancer. Had she not died, I'm sure they would have been married until my Dad died of Cancer in 2001.That would be 54 years of marriage.

I know they had hard times when I was young especially with money. Even though my Dad was a Business manager of a College, then a large Hospital but then he and another man started a business from scratch.

Things were tough in a lot of ways for the Company and Dad would get drunk on Friday night's and he and Mom would fight . My Mother didn't approve of drinking to excess.

Dad only drank on Friday night but he would drink a Fifth of Old Crow. He was impossible when he drank like that. He made all kinds of promises and plans and of course when he sobered up he didn't admit to any of it. There were times that I thought Mom might leave us.

As I got older ( Junior High & High School ) his Business was very successful ( 450 employees ) but he was under a huge amount of stress as the V. P. because he and the guy he went into business with were not getting along.

Dad loved to play Golf since before I was born and at one point when I was probably in my 40s I remember that Dad started drinking while he was playing golf . One afternoon he came home drunk and fell asleep on the front steps. . Mom found him there and gave him an ultimatum . Mom told Dad that if he didn't agree to quit drinking completely she wanted a divorce.

Well that was a rough time in their marriage. Some how they got through that. They got through a lot of rough times .They were very much involved in the church. Went every Sunday of course and were on several committees ,and were the third largest donors to the church at one time. For as long as I can remember my Dad gave 10% of his income to the church just as the Bible says. Good times , bad times. Same with my Mom. Mom had a Degree in Dental Hygienics but ended up being a substitute school teacher since her minor in College was French she was able to get a Sub. Teaching Certificate.

I really think it was their faith in God and Jesus' teachings that kept them going during the tough times and their love of each other which I never really saw in the way some people may think of it but I'm sure it was there.  

Even though I'm single, I believe much can be learned from my parents 47 years of marriage.   LOVE, FAITH in something greater than themselves, NOT GIVING UP when things got rough.

My Dad was an excellent cook. He could have survived fine single. But he feel in love.

Also my parents made it through their 1st child ending in miscarriage only 1 year after being married.       Dolph

Quote from: cyrus buelton on February 16, 2009, 02:38:50 PM

You definitely told him how it was.
Zltful turned out alright.
He is actually a cool guy, but a little on the fruity side 

Who do you think the good an brutal slap was? 

And me fruity? Weren't you the one that became a gay Australian at some point during the night in Boston with CharlieF? 

Quote from: ZLTFUL on February 17, 2009, 05:45:01 AM
Who do you think the good an brutal slap was? 

And me fruity? Weren't you the one that became a gay Australian at some point during the night in Boston with CharlieF? 

How quickly he forgets....

I have to say that if I were seriously seeing someone and they had to ask a question like that regarding whether marriage is worth it, I would hope they wouldn't propose.  If you are thinking of proposing or considering marriage because your choices are that or break up, I would go with break up.  It's not fair to either of you but especially to the woman to propose but not be 100% committed or sure it's what you want. 

Also, if you can't talk to each other now openly and honestly about your status and what you want for the future you will never be able to make a marriage work. 

My last boyfriend and I were at that stage where it was get married or move on and we talked about it and decided that moving on was the best thing for both of us.  We are still friends and I have since gotten married to someone that I know is right for me. 

Just my $.02!! 

Quote from: Bun-bun on February 16, 2009, 09:40:00 PM
Best advice: Live with her for at least a year first.

I disagree.  My wife and I didn't live together prior to getting married, and it was fun learning about those little things that you don't see when you aren't living together.  It was a fun first few months! 

Quote from: ZLTFUL on February 17, 2009, 05:45:01 AM
Weren't you the one that became a gay Australian at some point during the night in Boston with CharlieF? 

huh?

Quote from: Dusty Rhodes on February 17, 2009, 05:47:19 AM
How quickly he forgets....

How quickly you forget who bought those vodka grapefruits!

Stories man. Stories. You being a gay Australian jet setter has much more flair than "financial industry dude from Ohio"

18-1/2 years and I love my wife more today than i did in 2000. I knew I was going to marry her about 20 minutes after I met her. I'd follow her into hell if I had to (i did move to NC for her and That's pretty close) The insane codependance we have I what pulls us thru the parts when I want to scream at her. You have to talk but more important you have to listen. Even the crap that you have no intrest in. (and don't pretend to listen, you'll get caught.)

But if you have ask if you should maybe you shouldn't.   my .02

Quote from: Sinister on February 17, 2009, 08:08:54 AM
I disagree.  My wife and I didn't live together prior to getting married, and it was fun learning about those little things that you don't see when you aren't living together.  It was a fun first few months! 

So, you don't think you would have learned the same things without the marriage license?
What  if one of the things you learned was an absolute deal breaker?

The first few months are called the honeymoon period for a reason. Then one day, you wake up and realize that if she picks the jam out of her toes at the dinner table one more time, you're gonna get tha axe, and make sure she never does that again!