dingers  well that a new name for me

Ummmm frangar, prophylactic, sleeping bag for a white mouse, sausage skin. Just to name a few. 

"If it aint on it aint on!!" 

Quote from: dragonworld on April 23, 2009, 06:55:23 PM
Ummmm frangar, prophylactic, sleeping bag for a white mouse, sausage skin. Just to name a few. 

"If it aint on it aint on!!" 

what some more i haven't heard of ,  sleeping bag for a white mouse, sausage skin.

and that right "If it aint on it aint on!!" , but i do like the feel of naked skin on skin

Yep, I dont care what they say, it just doesnt FEEL the same! 

you right hhhmmmmm nakedness

Whats your favourte flower??

Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling, take   celibacy.
This can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed   by environmental factors.

While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend,  Tony  and  Julie  listened to the instructor declare 'It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.'

He addressed the men. 'Can you each name and   describe your wife's favourite flower?'



Tony leaned over, touched Julie's arm gently and   whispered,

'Self-raising, isn't it?'

Thus began Tony's life of celibacy.

Ya just gotta live dangerously??

yes naughty Tony was being smart and look what happen, don't mess with Julie (Jukie)

It  takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can  support 3 kg (6.6 lb). (

The average man's penis is three times the length of his  thumb.

Human   thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your  feet.
 
Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the  brain.
 
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing  still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women will be finished reading this by now.

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

we had this one before dragon are you loosing your memory

Yep, I am getting old ya know?? 

Umm  who am I talking to ?? 

uuumm eerrr me

Only shittin' yah!! 

How could I not its you RNJ ??   

yeh mate 

Hmmmmmmm.   

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are over-sensitive and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman.



My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie. When I took early retirement last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job for the extra income that we need.



Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I now usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she nearly always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't shout at her, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch at the pub so eating out again is out of the question; I'm ready for some home cooked food when I get home.



She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's usual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.



Another symptom of ageing is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to do the shopping during her lunch hour. But we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then won't hurt her. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.



When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a rest when she has only half finished mowing the lawn and several extra breaks when she's vacuuming through the house. It does annoy me, vacuuming when I'm trying to watch 'Match of the Day', but I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice cup of tea and just sit for a while, and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.



I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other, eh?



Ron



EDITOR'S NOTE:



Ron died suddenly last week. He was found with a 24-inch Stanley screwdriver rammed up his a*** with only 2 inches showing.



His wife Julie was arrested, but the all-woman jury accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it

she was a hard woman