All right, I'm sick of it! I am ready to fly the obligatory Ducati monster "bird" at anyone who tells me to be careful one more time when I go riding on my motorcycle. Parents, siblings, and now coworkers! I think what gets me the most is that I know and watch them all cheer on the men in their escapades on motorcycles- when it comes to me they seem to clam up and go all 1950's Donna Reed. What is the deal?

Somehow because you are male doesn't inherently mean you are a safer rider!!!! So I guess my question is this: how have the monster women dealt with this? I am trying to ignore them... The more I do the more they scream... Ignore louder? Explaining my choice doesn't seem to make it better. More finger signage?   

First of all, your avatar is awesome â€" love Wallace and Gromit!   

As far as the "be careful" comments.  I really don't have any good ones but I know I say it when my s/o goes off on one of his bikes.  Even though I know he'll be careful, it's more of a general "see you when you get back, have fun, be safe, tell everyone hi..."

But I know what you're saying.  I have one friend who badgers me a little about being safe but she used to work on bikers who came into the ER so I'll let her get away with it.  Fortunately, anyone else who tells me to "be careful" I haven't interpreted or gotten the feeling that they think I'm a weak girl.

A few responses off the top of my head:

- And you be careful too! (with a smile). And then insert one of the following: walking across the street, through the wal-greens parking lot, walking in socks on a wood floor, putting hot pizza in your mouth, taking a 3rd serving of cake away from a 3 year old...  You get the idea - inherent dangers with everything we do.  Just dumb it down a little as needed.

Or:

- Give them a puzzled look and say "whuuht?"  Make them explain and then you can defer to the above.


Sorry that's all I have for now.

Be safe out there!

Sorry, couldn't help myself.    

Personally, I don't mind the "ride safe" and "be careful"s. It is more dangerous than taking the bus, after all. I tell my bf to ride safe every time. (... He rides his motorcycle, you with the dirty mind. )

I'd suggest that instead of arguing (or "explaining") with those who so clearly care about your well-being you simply smile, say "thank you" and "I always do" and ride off knowing how much more fun you are having.

Give the well-wishers time to adjust to the apparently unfamiliar sight of a gal on two wheels (it's taken my dad years).

And save the wheelies for when they're not looking. 

Re:avatar:

Is that Wensleydale?

I must go eat some cheeeese now.

politely inform them of the fact that you'll be as safe as you can and that you watch out for the other idiots on the roadways who drive their SUV's while they talk on their cellphones oblivious to everyone and everything around them(in case they do it and then they get a small hint of guilt) and then follow it up by saying that statistics state that more people die in their bathrooms every year than on motorcycles....

I know most of the people that have said it to me are doing so out of concern for me as a person, concern for me as a single mother (because my daughter would end up living with an a**hole of a father), etc.  I haven't had an opportunity where it was said in anything other than a positive manner.

I love Stella's responses FWIW

BE CAREFUL!!   

I get the same thing, but I'm sure they don't mean you're a less safer rider than a guy.  I say it to my husband when he rides his motorcycle and also to his friends.  I agree with Stella's response as "it's more of a general 'see you when you get back, have fun, be safe..."  Have a good ride!

Unfortunately, some people just like to nag.

You can respond to it, which will encourage the nagging to continue, or you can basically ignore it.

It's hard to argue back effectively as motorcycling is risky.  However, so are many other things that people do.

My standard reply is "Careful isnt Fun"!

Maybe they really are doing this less with guys.

However, I'm a guy and get this CONSTANTLY. The other day my colleague berated me and said she couldn't believe I wasn't wearing a helmet. I just told her I understood her point but felt silly wearing a helmet in my car (since I'd driven that day). People can't help themselves when it comes to doling out advice on how others should live their lives. Just ignore them. (AUGH! I just did it to you! See, people just can't stop giving out gratuitous advice!)

Ok, glad it isn't just women who get the lame ass "be careful" lecture or silent treatment!

Still doesn't make it better. Riding is more dangerous, sure, but nagging doesn't make it safer! It is certainly more fun than sitting at home in a glass box!

Quote from: duqette on August 26, 2009, 06:26:21 PM
Re:avatar:

Is that Wensleydale?

Yes and lots of cheese! Makes the world better! That and riding my monster...

Ive been riding for a few years now, so the family and coworkers all know I ride and dont say too much anymore.  My mom of course always tells me her latest "so and so's cousin's son's etc. was killed on a motorcycle" story, to which I always ask my standard questions: do you know what happened, were they speeding, wearing a helmet, wearing full gear?  She never has any details, just that someone was killed on a motorcycle and so logically I am also destined to die.  I just reassure her that I am very careful and always wear full gear.

I get more comments from complete strangers.  Some about me, some about the bike.  Some of my favorites: "Ducati...who makes that?"; "Italians cant/dont make motorcycles."; "You dont ride a scooter?!"; "I thought that looked like a GIRL'S bike" (from a Harley guy); "That thing probably doesnt go very fast" (cause girls cant ride fast bikes?  dunno); "How do you get on that thing/I just want to see you get on it" (I'm 5'1"); and "You dont look like someone who would ride"

I just smile and keep walking.  Its not really worth talking to them.

That's funny because people also say to me "you don't look like someone who would ride a motorcycle". I wonder what that looks like?