This is a GOOD Doctor.

Q:  Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.  Don't waste them on exercise.
   Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;
   that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
   Want to live longer?  Take a nap.

Q:  Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?  Hay and corn.
   And what are these? Vegetables.  So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
   mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.
   Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
   And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q:  Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:  No, not at all.  Wine is made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine.
   That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more
   of the goodness that way.  Beer is also made out of grain.  Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
   If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q:  What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A:  Can't think of a single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No Pain.  Good!

      Q:  Aren't fried foods bad for you?
      A:  YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
          In fact, they're permeated in it.  How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

      Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
      A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
          You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. 

      Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?
       A:  Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
          It's the best feel-good food around!

       Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?
         A:  If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

         Q:  Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
         A:  Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

**I love this next bit***

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of  arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather  to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one  hand - chocolate in  the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

   

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians...

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians. 

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like
Speaking English is apparently what kills you

Quote from: Spider on August 24, 2009, 03:39:04 PM
no he's not....bacon is salty and it is balanced well with the sweetness of maple syrup....
It's a treat.

No no no no no.....

Salt is good, it needs no sweet yucky stuff...   Having said that reminds me of this girl years ago who liked to put cream or chocolate sauce on my nuts   Maybe they are SALTY

Ita

Quote from: dragonworld on August 24, 2009, 06:58:38 PM
This is a GOOD Doctor.

Q:  Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.  Don't waste them on exercise.
   Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;
   that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
   Want to live longer?  Take a nap.

Q:  Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?  Hay and corn.
   And what are these? Vegetables.  So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
   mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.
   Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
   And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q:  Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A:  No, not at all.  Wine is made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine.
   That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more
   of the goodness that way.  Beer is also made out of grain.  Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
   If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q:  What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A:  Can't think of a single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No Pain.  Good!

      Q:  Aren't fried foods bad for you?
      A:  YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
          In fact, they're permeated in it.  How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

      Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
      A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
          You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. 

      Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?
       A:  Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
          It's the best feel-good food around!

       Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?
         A:  If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

         Q:  Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
         A:  Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

**I love this next bit***

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of  arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather  to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one  hand - chocolate in  the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

   

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians...

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

4 The Italians drink a lot of red wine
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians. 

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
       and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like
Speaking English is apparently what kills you

shit im healthy then

Quote from: Ita on August 24, 2009, 07:32:41 PM
 Having said that reminds me of this girl years ago who liked to put cream or chocolate sauce on my nuts  

Ita

let's all share a moment of silence to appreciate this fine young woman.

Quote from: Ita on August 24, 2009, 07:32:41 PM
No no no no no.....

Salt is good, it needs no sweet yucky stuff...   Having said that reminds me of this girl years ago who liked to put cream or chocolate sauce on my nuts   Maybe they are SALTY

Ita

Uhuh, the inimitable, everlasting, ever tasty "chocolate, salty b, b, b, balls" 

well after washing Betty and Jukie today, i decided to give Jukie a new battery. yes he has been the original one, so it lasted 7 years i think that i got my monies worth out of it.  

Thats terrible!! 

I'd be asking for my money back ?? 

What a rubbish product!! 

What brand was it Mem Sahib , if you please?? 

do you think . The original one was still working, it just want to rest more often, so i gave it a permanent one. the brand was Yuasa 

Yep, thats the brand I have never had a problem with.

Anyone had any experience with those skidoo type batteries?? Apparently a lot more cranking power, particularly in the cold.?? 

just like to thank Trev for our little ride today [moto], and the pressie too

onya Trev, you'll get on !! 

OMG. what has happen to the weather. for those not in NSW. we are having a severe dust storm. i woke up this morning and thought the house was on fire and i thought it was smoke. what it is a dust storm and it is covering Sydney to Newcastle. So guys if you out driving around in NSW, headlights on and the AC on to filter the dust. Gee im so glad i get to got to work.

Quote from: Jukie on September 22, 2009, 01:34:22 PM
OMG. what has happen to the weather. for those not in NSW. we are having a severe dust storm. i woke up this morning and thought the house was on fire and i thought it was smoke. what it is a dust storm and it is covering Sydney to Newcastle. So guys if you out driving around in NSW, headlights on and the AC on to filter the dust. Gee im so glad i get to got to work.

Be prepared to clean a clogged filter in your AC within a few hours. 

I started a thread

http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=29824.0

Hi All,

and where the bloody hell are you guys.
anyway update on me.

stomach has been good for the week and started on gym work today, by doing some light weights. need the build my strength up for turismo


So how is all the girls and guys here on the forum.

i think we have been missing some people as of late.
Danno?
Melvin?

anyone else just say g'day so i know you are ok

g'day
hibernating, waiting for summer  [moto]
waiting for Spider exports bling
not waiting to have a baby (like some round here)
waiting for Turismo
I'm a very patient person