Few more lil  known facts about Chuck...


On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Chuck Norris threw it.

When Chuck Norris vomits, wealthy people scavenge it for food. Too bad for them Chuck Norris never vomits.

Chuck Norris graduated from school with a degree in Chuck Norris.

The only thing Chuck Norris fears is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need to shower. Dirt is too scared to touch him.

Once a police officer pulled Chuck Norris over for speeding. The police officer walks up to the car and says “Guess how fast you were going?” Somehow Chuck Norris roundhouse kickes him in the face. Chuck Norris dosent guess, he knows.

Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people.

Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris never losses at a hide-n-seak.

When Chuck Norris drinks the water in Mexico the water gets sick.

Chuck Norris can fart the alphabet backwards.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris doesn’t refer to his penis as Chuck Norris Jr. he refers to it as Chuck Norris Sr. because his penis is in fact 5 in. taller than Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn’t use a razor to shave in the morning, he roundhouse kicks himself in the face… because the only thing hard enough to cut Chuck Norris, is Chuck Norris.

McGuyver once tried to give Chuck Norris advice on diffusing a bomb. Chuck Norris then disemboweled McGuyver using a plastic spoon, a wooden nickel, and the left arm of a midget… yes, a live midget.

Chuck Norris can take a number 2 standing up.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris was indeed the 4th wise man at Jesus birth, he gave him the gift of beard, which jesus sported all his life. The wisemen jealous of Chuck had him removed from the bible. he then round house kicked them.

JFK was not assasinated, after seeing Chuck Norris round house kick someone his head exploded out of shear awsomeness.
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So does this count as both religous and political? Damn ima be banned aren't I?

Quote from: Latinbalar on July 31, 2008, 02:40:52 PM
Chuck Norris was indeed the 4th wise man at Jesus birth, he gave him the gift of beard, which jesus sported all his life. The wisemen jealous of Chuck had him removed from the bible. he then round house kicked them.

JFK was not assasinated, after seeing Chuck Norris round house kick someone his head exploded out of shear awsomeness.
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.
.
.
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So does this count as both religous and political? Damn ima be banned aren't I?

Nope, Chuck Norris will round house kick anyone trying to ban you because you posted on this thread.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was based on a true story. Chuck Norris once ate a turtle, and when he shit it out it was 6ft. tall and new Karate.

I'm surprised that no one hit on the fact that Chuck turned 70 yesterday!

Happy Birthday Chuck!

Quote from: Monster Dave on March 11, 2010, 06:14:15 AM
I'm surprised that no one hit on the fact that Chuck turned 70 yesterday!

Happy Birthday Chuck!

Yes I almost posted that and must have gotten distracted.


to Chuck!

Quote from: krolik on July 12, 2008, 08:55:45 AM
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

LOL - I just saw that on a T-shirt:



http://www.80stees.com/products/Periodic-Table-Chuck-Norris-T-Shirt.asp

So, hypothetically, if Chuck Norris and Mike Hailwood, riding Ducati's, had a head on collision what would happen? Just Askin?

Quote from: WarrenJ on May 04, 2010, 02:52:41 PM
So, hypothetically, if Chuck Norris and Mike Hailwood, riding Ducati's, had a head on collision what would happen? Just Askin?

Already happened. It was about 13.9 billion years ago.

Little known fact about Chuck Norris and Mike Hailwood -

Chuck Norris actually won the 1978 Isle of Man TT, well ahead of Mike Hailwood.  But Chuck Norris was disqualified seconds after he crossed the finish line becuase he was riding a bicycle.

Quote from: Goat_Herder on May 04, 2010, 04:17:00 PM
Little known fact about Chuck Norris and Mike Hailwood -

Chuck Norris actually won the 1978 Isle of Man TT, well ahead of Mike Hailwood.  But Chuck Norris was disqualified seconds after he crossed the finish line becuase he was riding a bicycle.

Quote from: Goat_Herder on May 04, 2010, 04:17:00 PM
Little known fact about Chuck Norris and Mike Hailwood -

Chuck Norris actually won the 1978 Isle of Man TT, well ahead of Mike Hailwood.  But Chuck Norris was disqualified seconds after he crossed the finish line becuase he was riding a bicycle.

Quote from: Goat_Herder on May 04, 2010, 04:17:00 PM
Little known fact about Chuck Norris and Mike Hailwood -

Chuck Norris actually won the 1978 Isle of Man TT, well ahead of Mike Hailwood.  But Chuck Norris was disqualified seconds after he crossed the finish line becuase he was riding a bicycle.

OMG you just made my day....  ROTFLMAO! 

Quote from: Goat_Herder on May 04, 2010, 04:17:00 PM
Little known fact about Chuck Norris and Mike Hailwood -

Chuck Norris actually won the 1978 Isle of Man TT, well ahead of Mike Hailwood.  But Chuck Norris was disqualified seconds after he crossed the finish line becuase he was riding a bicycle.

A+