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Chuck Norris

Started by krolik, July 12, 2008, 08:55:45 AM

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zzilla

#60
May 25, 2010, 05:59:17 PM
Wikipedia shows that the fastest lap on the Nurburgring Nordschleife was 6:11.43 in a Porsche 956 in 1983

They are incorrect.

Chuck Norris did it in 5:43.22






In a canoe.









Without a paddle.
Did I ever tell you the story about the Zen master and the little boy?
       -Gust Avrakotos

fastwin

#61
May 25, 2010, 06:13:43 PM
Somehow that's makes my framed pic of Mike the Bike on that famous day less meaning! Damn Chuck!!! And God Bless him!!! [laugh]

GAAN

#62
May 25, 2010, 09:46:20 PM
Quote from: fastwin on May 25, 2010, 06:13:43 PM
Somehow that's makes my framed pic of Mike the Bike on that famous day less meaning! Damn Chuck!!! And God Bless him!!! [laugh]

GOD doesn't bless Chuck Norris...

Oldfisti

#63
May 26, 2010, 02:42:17 AM
Quote from: Mother on May 25, 2010, 09:46:20 PM
GOD doesn't bless Chuck Norris...




... It's the other way around.


;)
Quote from: Sinister on November 06, 2008, 12:47:21 PM
It's like I keep saying:  Those who would sacrifice a free range session for a giant beer, deserve neither free range time nor a giant beer.
Quote from: KnightofNi on November 10, 2009, 04:45:16 AM
i have had guys reach back and grab my crotch in an attempt to get around me. i'll either blow in their ear or ask them politely to let go of my wang.

badgalbetty

#64
May 26, 2010, 08:02:23 AM
chuck who?
"Its never too late to be who you might have been" - George Elliot.

Oldfisti

#65
May 26, 2010, 08:47:33 AM
Quote from: Sinister on November 06, 2008, 12:47:21 PM
It's like I keep saying:  Those who would sacrifice a free range session for a giant beer, deserve neither free range time nor a giant beer.
Quote from: KnightofNi on November 10, 2009, 04:45:16 AM
i have had guys reach back and grab my crotch in an attempt to get around me. i'll either blow in their ear or ask them politely to let go of my wang.

zzilla

#66
May 26, 2010, 05:03:01 PM
There are no such things as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just really hates trailer parks.
Did I ever tell you the story about the Zen master and the little boy?
       -Gust Avrakotos

Porsche Monkey

#67
May 26, 2010, 05:13:03 PM
 [clap]
Quote from: bobspapa on July 18, 2009, 04:40:31 PM
if I had a vagina...I'd never leave the house

zzilla

#68
May 26, 2010, 08:32:47 PM
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick to meet another Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Did I ever tell you the story about the Zen master and the little boy?
       -Gust Avrakotos

Rameses

#69
May 27, 2010, 12:06:43 AM
Quote from: Goat_Herder on May 04, 2010, 04:17:00 PM
Little known fact about Chuck Norris and Mike Hailwood -

Chuck Norris actually won the 1978 Isle of Man TT, well ahead of Mike Hailwood.  But Chuck Norris was disqualified seconds after he crossed the finish line becuase he was riding a bicycle.



That has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read.

Nicely done.

[clap] [clap]



zzilla

#70
May 27, 2010, 10:53:24 PM
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Did I ever tell you the story about the Zen master and the little boy?
       -Gust Avrakotos

NoisyDante

#71
May 27, 2010, 11:18:09 PM
Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
'07 695 Dark - Quat-D Ex Box exhaust, gold S4 forks, Woodcraft Clipons, CRG levers, KTM headlight, Motodynamics taillight, 14t sprocket, CRG LS mirrors, flamethrower, the usual refinements.  * struck down by a hippie in a Prius on September 22nd, 2010.

The Bearded Duc

#72
May 28, 2010, 12:51:22 AM
One day while filming "Walker: Texas Ranger" a lamb walked on to the set and fell over and died. Chuck Norris walked over and laid a hand on the lamb and brought it back to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it in the face and broke its neck. He then turned to the rest of the crew and said "this is just to remind everyone the the good Chuck giveth and the good Chuck taketh away".
2001 M750 - Sold
2006 S2R 800 - She's just darling

Mojo S2R

#73
May 28, 2010, 02:11:06 AM
You can't use Google to find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Seriously.  Type "Where is Chuck Norris" and click "I'm Feeling Lucky" button and this is what you get:



I think I'm going to go hide now and pray.  :-\

NoisyDante

#74
June 03, 2010, 09:35:22 AM
'07 695 Dark - Quat-D Ex Box exhaust, gold S4 forks, Woodcraft Clipons, CRG levers, KTM headlight, Motodynamics taillight, 14t sprocket, CRG LS mirrors, flamethrower, the usual refinements.  * struck down by a hippie in a Prius on September 22nd, 2010.
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