Quote from: Drunken Monkey on June 29, 2008, 08:37:12 PM
You are Chihuahua named Pedro. You have a nasty skin disease and are completely blind.
Also, you are fixed.

I wish my kids could get a great, free education.

and they do

in the process they create a utopian world

created with the understanding that care for the elderly is an expense that cannot be supported

as a result on your retirement day you are fed to the furnaces

I wish I was a dog that wasn't blind with a skin condition

and I have my balls

Granted. But your master kicks you in the balls for pissing on the carpet.

I wish to lead a happy life without debt and a harem of virgins that get replaced every day.

Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 09:32:27 PM
Granted. But your master kicks you in the balls for pissing on the carpet.

I wish to lead a happy life without debt and a harem of virgins that get replaced every day.

Granted

Your harem of virgin bull elephants is replenished everyday

I wish my master wouldn't kick me in the balls

Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 09:42:03 PM
Granted

Your harem of virgin bull elephants is replenished everyday

I wish my master wouldn't kick me in the balls

Granted, but your master is the guy who coined the term "screwed the pooch".

I wish I was perfect.

Quote from: silentbob on June 29, 2008, 09:53:01 PM
Granted, but your master is the guy who coined the term "screwed the pooch".

I wish I was perfect.

Granted. But you are perfectly ugly.

I wish I could talk to animals and tell them what to do.

Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 09:55:37 PM
Granted. But you are perfectly ugly.

I wish I could talk to animals and tell them what to do.

You can, your are a modern day Dr Doolittle

however

with your new found powers you become irresistable to all woman across the planet

and yet have zero desire to mate with humans

I wisha I wans an attractive dog that isn't abused

Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 10:01:34 PM
I wisha I wans an attractive dog that isn't abused

Granted but you have an insatiable liking for your own feces.

I wish I was a porn star.

Quote from: silentbob on June 29, 2008, 10:04:01 PM
Granted but you have an insatiable liking for your own feces.

I wish I was a porn star.

You are

your career in Necrophilia is a success

I wish I didn't like feces

Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 10:09:18 PM
You are

your career in Necrophilia is a success

I wish I didn't like feces

Granted.

You don't like faeces so much you stop crapping and explode.

I wish I didn't have sex with animals.

Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 10:14:23 PM
Granted.

You don't like faeces so much you stop crapping and explode.

I wish I didn't have sex with animals.

Granted.  You now only have sex with large vegetables.

I wish I was Batman.

Granted.

But you are 99% Bat, 1% Man.

I wish I didn't have sex with large or small or any vegetables.

Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 10:19:53 PM
Granted.

But you are 99% Bat, 1% Man.

I wish I didn't have sex with large or small or any vegetables.

granted your sex drive is elliminated all together

i wish we didn't spend so much money on movies and TV shows that suck

Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 10:22:50 PM
granted your sex drive is elliminated all together

i wish we didn't spend so much money on movies and TV shows that suck

Granted.  They are now free and it shows.  You play Erkel's wife on a new hit series.

I wish all women were easy.

Quote from: silentbob on June 29, 2008, 10:26:03 PM
Granted.  They are now free and it shows.  You play Erkel's wife on a new hit series.

I wish all women were easy.

Granted.

All women are easy but your old fella has fallen off.

I wish I could read people's minds only when I wanted to.

Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 10:29:33 PM
Granted.

All women are easy but your old fella has fallen off.

I wish I could read people's minds only when I wanted to.

granted

however you find you never want to

i wish fish didn't taste like fish