Granted, but you realize you don't know anyone named Will, so your powers are useless.

I wish teleportation was cheap, effective, and safe.

Teleportation is now cheap, effective, and safe ... but the only available destination is your mother-in-law's house.

I wish I had a magically refilling flask that would refill with anything I ask for. Hmmm, a good 14 year single malt scotch, please. 

Quote from: Manny on June 30, 2008, 08:45:17 PM
I wish I had a magically refilling flask that would refill with anything I ask for. Hmmm, a good 14 year single malt scotch, please. 

Unfortunately, the flask cannot be opened.

I wish politicians weren't corrupt.

Quote from: Drunken Monkey on June 30, 2008, 08:48:33 PM
Unfortunately, the flask cannot be opened.

I wish politicians weren't corrupt.

sorry, off topic, but

How would you empty the flask in order for it to need to be refilled?  You should have said he needed a liver transplant.

Quote from: Jobu on June 30, 2008, 08:52:13 PM
sorry, off topic, but

How would you empty the flask in order for it to need to be refilled?  You should have said he needed a liver transplant.

If it never can be emptied, it takes all the fun (and necessity) out of filling it again. And makes it useless. 

Back on topic: Politicians are no longer corrupt, but they have the mental dexterity of doorknobs. Oh, wait... 

I wish i had a new updated computer.

You have a new updated computer.

But it runs on Windows Vista.

I wish I had a Monkey Army that I could control.

Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 30, 2008, 09:11:12 PM
You have a new updated computer.

But it runs on Windows Vista.

Ouch.

Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 30, 2008, 09:11:12 PMI wish I had a Monkey Army that I could control.

Your wish is granted, but unfortunately, the monkeys interpret all commands as "attack master!"

I wish days were longer.

Quote from: x136 on June 30, 2008, 10:29:12 PM
Ouch.

Your wish is granted, but unfortunately, the monkeys interpret all commands as "attack master!"

I wish days were longer.

Granted.

But you never sleep and the bags under your eyes get gravel rash when riding.

I wish that people weren't stupid.

Quote from: Super T.I.B on July 01, 2008, 01:12:32 AM
Granted.

But you never sleep and the bags under your eyes get gravel rash when riding.

I wish that people weren't stupid.

Granted, but now they are all Alec Baldwin.

I wish I could live on a desert island with all my wants and needs met forever and the only other living thing on the island is Sandy Duncan, permanently age 20 and I am permanently age 25 and have no health issues and the weather is perfect all the time and she cannot get pregnant and can swallow whole baguettes without choking and she has a on/off knob that is perfect and will never break.

Granted.

However, you can't get to her because she got buried in a rock slide.  All there is between the two of you is conversation.

I wish I could digest concrete.

Quote from: Monsterlover on July 01, 2008, 05:28:55 AM
Granted.

However, you can't get to her because she got buried in a rock slide.  All there is between the two of you is conversation.

not good enough, i said i wished for all i could want or need too - i wish for a backhoe to dig her out! 

slacker!

Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 01, 2008, 05:51:13 AM
not good enough, i said i wished for all i could want or need too - i wish for a backhoe to dig her out! 

slacker!

granted.... but your backhoe skills suck, and you rip her good eye out, leaving her blind, which isnt all that bad, because you also tear up a buried gas line, blowing her, you, and half the island up. Your family is stuck with the clean up costs.

I wish I never had to make a poo again

Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 07:16:06 AM
granted.... but your backhoe skills suck, and you rip her good eye out, leaving her blind, which isnt all that bad, because you also tear up a buried gas line, blowing her, you, and half the island up. Your family is stuck with the clean up costs.

I wish I never had to make a poo again

Granted, but your sex drive is also gone now.

I wish I had unlimited funds for toys

Quote from: big bear on July 01, 2008, 07:34:59 AM
Granted, but your sex drive is also gone now.

I wish I had unlimited funds for toys

Granted.... but you can only shop in the "anal" section of the Hollywood Hustler store.



I wish Toby Keith sang like Alvin, of Alvin and the Chipmunks

Quote from: big bear on July 01, 2008, 07:34:59 AM
Granted, but your sex drive is also gone now.

I wish I had unlimited funds for toys

due to a freak accident at KB toys involving a teddy bear and the board game chutes and ladders you are left paralyzed. Your family sues and the store is renamed Big Bear Toys. You have unlimited funds for toys, but it is spent on keeping you alive and trying to prop up the business which is failing since they have to spend most of the profit keeping you alive.

i wish my co-worker wasn't an idiot and could hold a semi-intelligent conversation.