Quote from: silentbob on July 01, 2008, 10:29:32 PM
You can and you make a fortune selling the nuclear sub that is your home.  Unfortunately, the Navy takes issue with you selling their property and you spend the rest of your life in a jail cell with horny sailors.

I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener.

You are bought and used for various activities by Amy Winehouse, hope you like fleas with your fish. 

I wish I were still sleeping.

Quote from: lethe on July 02, 2008, 12:42:00 AM
You are bought and used for various activities by Amy Winehouse, hope you like fleas with your fish. 

I wish I were still sleeping.

>poof< you are sleeping, but your livid dreams are exactly what you think you're doing now, awake. 

I wish I lived in Switzerland in the 1830s-1840s

Granted.   You live in Switzerland during the 1840s but have complete knowledge of the future you live in now and are accused of being a witch. The ensuing trials leave you burning at the stake.


I wish I was a juror in those trials.

Quote from: porschaholic on July 02, 2008, 05:23:31 AM
Granted.   You live in Switzerland during the 1840s but have complete knowledge of the future you live in now and are accused of being a witch. The ensuing trials leave you burning at the stake.


I wish I was a juror in those trials.

Granted, but 10 years after the last witch burning the govermnent changes the laws and all juror`s in the witch hunt trials are now burned at the stake.


I wish I were Iron Man

Quote from: big bear on July 02, 2008, 06:10:07 AM
Granted, but 10 years after the last witch burning the govermnent changes the laws and all juror`s in the witch hunt trials are now burned at the stake.


I wish I were Iron Man

Granted.  Unfortunately, fat chicks are now magnetic.

I wish I knew Dim Mak, "Touch of Death."

Quote from: big bear on July 02, 2008, 06:10:07 AM
Granted, but 10 years after the last witch burning the govermnent changes the laws and all juror`s in the witch hunt trials are now burned at the stake.


I wish I were Iron Man

So it shall be!! unfortunately due to your job in the factory that makes magnets for MRIs and CTs your power cell doens't work so well and you are found "sleeping" quite a bit. The shielding you put in place to combat this interferes with the magnet tests so you are fired. also, the bad guys figure out that your armor is ferrous and you are defeated by a huge electromagnet.


i wish i could make up words like don king and not look like an idiot.

Quote from: KnightofNi on July 02, 2008, 06:51:39 AM
So it shall be!! unfortunately due to your job in the factory that makes magnets for MRIs and CTs your power cell doens't work so well and you are found "sleeping" quite a bit. The shielding you put in place to combat this interferes with the magnet tests so you are fired. also, the bad guys figure out that your armor is ferrous and you are defeated by a huge electromagnet.


i wish i could make up words like don king and not look like an idiot.

You can but you still look like an idiot.

I wish Travis would learn how to play this game and stop granting wishes that have already been granted and I wish his explosive diarrhea would cause monkeys to fly out of his butt.

Travis is a regifter.

He has learned his lesson, but the monkeys that flew out of his ass, have grown to love the warmth of ass, and wander the planet looking for the warmest ass in the land. IZ_ass


I wish I could fast forward parts of the day

Quote from: bobspapa on July 02, 2008, 07:45:55 AM
Travis is a regifter.

He has learned his lesson, but the monkeys that flew out of his ass, have grown to love the warmth of ass, and wander the planet looking for the warmest ass in the land. IZ_ass


I wish I could fast forward parts of the day

bing, you can but only when you're having sex and it's always 60x speed so now your sex is 2 seconds instead of 2 minutes.

i wish i was a shapeshifter and could assume any look or identity i chose.

Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 02, 2008, 07:51:43 AM
bing, you can but only when you're having sex and it's always 50x speed.

i wish i was a shapeshifter and could assume any look or identity i chose.

zing za dam.... granted..... but you get stuck in Andrea Dworkin mode, while sneaking into a all womans gym.


I wish I was a more smarter person

Quote from: bobspapa on July 02, 2008, 07:55:24 AM
zing za dam.... granted..... but you get stuck in Andrea Dworkin mode, while sneaking into a all womans gym.


I wish I was a more smarter person

Done.  The crayon has been removed from your brain and now everyone hates you because you are too smart.

I wish my wishes didn't backfire.

Quote from: silentbob on July 02, 2008, 07:58:28 AM
Done.  The crayon has been removed from your brain and now everyone hates you because you are too smart.

I wish my wishes didn't backfire.

Granted..... they never did. That backfire noise you were hearing was Travis' explosive poo.


I wish my boss will be in a good mood for our meeting.

Quote from: bobspapa on July 02, 2008, 08:01:58 AM
Granted..... they never did. That backfire noise you were hearing was Travis' explosive poo.


I wish my boss will be in a good mood for our meeting.

Granted.  He is in a good mood because he has finally come to terms with his feelings for you and monkeys.  Your meeting will be painful.

I wish I was a monkey salesman in Joel's neighborhood.

thats no way to sell a cat 

Quote from: silentbob on July 02, 2008, 07:41:38 AM
You can but you still look like an idiot.

I wish Travis would learn how to play this game and stop granting wishes that have already been granted and I wish his explosive diarrhea would cause monkeys to fly out of his butt.

i just posted it. i didn't check to see if anyone else had posted before me. it's not my fault my wish granting is more creative and takes more time.

Quote from: silentbob on July 02, 2008, 08:05:51 AM
Granted.  He is in a good mood because he has finally come to terms with his feelings for you and monkeys.  Your meeting will be painful.

I wish I was a monkey salesman in Joel's neighborhood.

you are a door to door salesman. you happen to knock on the door of a militant PETA member who kicks your ass for trying to sell flying monkeys when they should be allowewd to roam free as nature intended. your explainations that it wasn't nature that created them fall on deaf ears. joel comes out and yells for the neighbors to keep the noise down since all his work to get LM in the mood for his fast forwarded 2 secsonds of sex has been nullified by your screaming.

i wish i could type faster.