Friday Funnies??

[Mr.S2R]

alternatively...

[vossy]

^^^^ ^^^

[Dannog]

First class blonde



A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back. The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an economy place and she will have to leave and return to her original seat. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!"

Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!"

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss. The Pilot replied:



”I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne".

[Jukie]

TEN REASONS WHY MEN PREFER GUNS TO WOMEN.


10. You can trade an old 44 for two new 22's.
9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
6. Your gun will stay with you even if... See more you run out of ammo.
5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....


WARNING; If you telling this yarn to a woman, I would suggest that you prepare your self to start running or protect yourself.



1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

you better watch it RobS i have been looking after Bazz guns for him whilst staying with him, so im on to you 

[dragonworld.]

Fact of Life:

After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F

[Two dogs]

Q: How do you get a fat chick into bed?












































A: Piece of cake.

[dragonworld.]

GRANDPA'S PROBLEM!!

There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table. Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom.

When he returned, however, his trousers were wet all over.
'What happened, Grandpa?', he was asked by his concerned children, 'Well,' he answered, 'I don't really know. I had to go to the bathroom.So I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw that it wasn't mine,so I put it back!'

[dragonworld.]

Yep I know its been around for a while but its a good one.

See ladies ! Ask a silly question and the male response could be what yer dont want or expect?? 
(Aaaaah, to live life dangerously? YYEEESSSSS!  )


THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
Husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically
Telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet
Paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.'
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
Front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will
this take?' I asked.

They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies. I
Stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between
My breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?' Without
Missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your arse, didn't it?'

He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk
Again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

Stupid, stupid man.

[Jukie]

i see you are back in form again Dragon with that funny

[heatherp]

i see you are back in form again Dragon with that funny

Welcome back Dragon. 

[dragonworld.]

Hi and thanks H. 

And would you expect anything else RNJ? 

[FIFO]

Any one know this DOM

[heatherp]

Now I know what you look like Rob s. (and it ain't pretty) 

[Jukie]

is it of the Benny Hill show

[FIFO]

Now I know what you look like Rob s. (and it ain't pretty) 

Compared to who else on this forum