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F*** My Life

Started by Dragsterhund, February 05, 2009, 02:33:20 PM

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Dragsterhund

February 05, 2009, 02:33:20 PM
http://www.fmylife.com/

Hours of Lulz.
2003 Ducati Monster 800S i.e.
1999 Ducati 748S Track Bike
2011 Ducati 848 Track Bike (Ex Jake Holden AMA DSB bike)
1967 Ducati Monza 250
2008 Yamaha TTR 125

1973 Honda CB450 (Sold)
1972 Honda CB450 (Sold)
2002 Suzuki SV650 Track Bike (SOLD!)
1994 Kawasaki EX500 (SOLD!)

Sinister

#1
February 05, 2009, 02:55:55 PM
QuoteToday, I hooked up with this man for the first time. He takes his shirt off and has a chestful of black hair. He had his name shaved into it. FML

#8288 (8) - 02/05/2009 at 3:20am by banana - love - I agree, your life is f***ed (1369) - you deserved that one (329)
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"...but without a smiley, some people might think that sentence makes you look like a homophobic, inbred prick. I'm mean, it might leave the impression that you're a  douchebag or a dickhead, or maybe you need to get your head out of your ass."  DrunkenMonkey

"...any government that thinks war is somehow fair and subject to rules like a baseball game probably should not get into one." - Marcus Luttrell

VisceralReaction

#2
February 05, 2009, 02:56:37 PM
Holy crap I just snorted water out my nose.
There are squirrels juggling knives in my head

Sinister

#3
February 05, 2009, 02:58:02 PM Last Edit: February 05, 2009, 03:03:29 PM by Sinister
QuoteToday, I went on a first date with an Egyptian/Cuban sorority girl. I asked her what language she was brought up speaking. She said that her mom spoke to her in Spanish, but that she only ever replied in English. I said, "Oh, kinda like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML



QuoteToday, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML



QuoteToday, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML


This place is the new 'Best of Craigslist'.
"...but without a smiley, some people might think that sentence makes you look like a homophobic, inbred prick. I'm mean, it might leave the impression that you're a  douchebag or a dickhead, or maybe you need to get your head out of your ass."  DrunkenMonkey

"...any government that thinks war is somehow fair and subject to rules like a baseball game probably should not get into one." - Marcus Luttrell

VisceralReaction

#4
February 05, 2009, 03:02:32 PM
ugh............ :-X

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

There are squirrels juggling knives in my head

Sinister

#5
February 05, 2009, 03:05:18 PM
QuoteToday, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML


QuoteToday, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was tranny-night. FML
"...but without a smiley, some people might think that sentence makes you look like a homophobic, inbred prick. I'm mean, it might leave the impression that you're a  douchebag or a dickhead, or maybe you need to get your head out of your ass."  DrunkenMonkey

"...any government that thinks war is somehow fair and subject to rules like a baseball game probably should not get into one." - Marcus Luttrell

Oldfisti

#6
February 05, 2009, 03:06:17 PM
bookmarked.
Quote from: Sinister on November 06, 2008, 12:47:21 PM
It's like I keep saying:  Those who would sacrifice a free range session for a giant beer, deserve neither free range time nor a giant beer.
Quote from: KnightofNi on November 10, 2009, 04:45:16 AM
i have had guys reach back and grab my crotch in an attempt to get around me. i'll either blow in their ear or ask them politely to let go of my wang.

Sinister

#7
February 05, 2009, 03:07:05 PM
This guy must work with Cyrus:

QuoteToday, my co-worker came out to me that he's an active "Furry". Meaning, he likes to wear a Bobcat costume and bang other men who are wearing Husky costumes. I am never bringing my dog into work again. FML

"...but without a smiley, some people might think that sentence makes you look like a homophobic, inbred prick. I'm mean, it might leave the impression that you're a  douchebag or a dickhead, or maybe you need to get your head out of your ass."  DrunkenMonkey

"...any government that thinks war is somehow fair and subject to rules like a baseball game probably should not get into one." - Marcus Luttrell

acalles

#8
February 05, 2009, 03:15:37 PM
QuoteToday, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML
#3269 (6) - 01/29/2009 at 5:27pm by jalopenos - misc - I agree, your life is f***ed (843) - you deserved that one (813)

[laugh] [laugh]

I've done that before.

VisceralReaction

#9
February 05, 2009, 03:17:25 PM
I have a friend that I just sent that website to. He's at work at the University and this was his response:

"That's some funny shit.  I have nothing better to do, so I got to page 12.  FML"
There are squirrels juggling knives in my head

Monsterlover

#10
February 05, 2009, 05:53:21 PM
Best one ever. . . .

















































"Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML"

[laugh][laugh][laugh][laugh][laugh]
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

ducpainter

#11
February 05, 2009, 05:59:00 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on February 05, 2009, 05:53:21 PM
Best one ever. . . .

















































"Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML"

[laugh][laugh][laugh][laugh][laugh]
He's a make the beast with two backsing idiot.... [laugh]
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”


695LAM

#12
February 05, 2009, 06:00:04 PM
Thanks, this is great!!! One to send around.  I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. [clap] [clap]  And after having a make the beast with two backsed up day this was nice to come home to.

Monsterlover

#13
February 05, 2009, 06:11:37 PM
OMG I can't stop.

From page 21. . .

"Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML"
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

DRKWNG

#14
February 05, 2009, 06:14:16 PM
Quote
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML

Wow, just wow...

Quote
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

More wow...
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