Epic brain farts.

[DoubleEagle]

Bought a 1967 BSA Mark ll Spitfire Special used from Dick Klamfoth Honda in Columbus. Ohio when I was 20 in 1969. I rode the bike to the Town of Lithopolis about 8 miles from where I bought the"  Bezzer. "  It was a 650 Twin for those who aren't familiar with the bike. It had 2 Carbs and each carb had an on /off fuel switch operated manually. A Petcock I believe it's called. On for running , Off when the engine is off. Stopped in Lithopolis because the bike had started to run very bad. No power . I switched the Petcock off , looked the bike over , checked the gas level , turned the Petcock on, kicked it over and the bike seemed ok .

The bike ran fine for about a mile and then it started to loose power and would not accelerate. I rode the bike into Lancaster since there was a BSA Dealer there and I pulled up in front of the shop, turned the key off, and turned the Petcock off.

I went in and asked the Dealer if he could have one of his mechanics take a look at the bike. He asked what the problem seemed to be and I told him and he said it sounded like when I pulled in I was only running on 1 cylinder. He asked me if I had both Petcocks on and I thanked him and red faced walked out and this time after I turned on the key , turned on BOTH Petcocks , kicked it to life and roared away. What a Dumb Ass  !!!     Dolph    

The reason the bike ran ok for a little while after each stop and go was that I was turning on and off the opposite Petcock each time and there was residual gas in the other carb for a short while. When I left Klamfoth's both Petcocks must of been on and when I stopped the 1st time I turned off both but when I went to leave I only turned on 1.

[Howie]

Too many brain farts to remember and select as epic, but:

Most recent - left for the store to purchase a new printer, deal is a $50 rebate for turning in your old printer for recycling.  Forgot old printer

Memorable - finished installing automatic transmission in BMW.  Looked down at floor to see torque converter sitting there

[Vindingo]

this one wasn't mine, but pretty funny

I was on a sailboat with some guy and it was pretty rough and windy out.  We decided to drop sails and motor in.  Cranked the motor, rev'd the shit out of it but we weren't going anywhere.  We were getting nervou that it was going to take a LONG time to get back to the marina.  For about 20 min of engine screaming and us not going anywhere... the skip decided to take it out of neutral...   

[DucHead]

I routinely tear the house apart looking for my glasses only to find them on my face.   

Just the other day, a buddy was by for a tire change.  I'll be damned, I couldn't get the tire pushed down into the clamps.  I worked at this for almost 10 minutes, apologizing constantly, only to find that I had forgotten to break the bead!   

The DMF server isn't big enough to handle even a fraction of the remainder...

[ducpainter]

I routinely tear the house apart looking for my glasses only to find them on my face.   

Just the other day, a buddy was by for a tire change.  I'll be damned, I couldn't get the tire pushed down into the clamps.  I worked at this for almost 10 minutes, apologizing constantly, only to find that I had forgotten to break the bead!   

The DMF server isn't big enough to handle even a fraction of the remainder...

I'll get more space...

continue professor.

[Ddan]

I was well on my way to becoming an ace moto mechanic, about to do my second tire change.  I got the rear mounted up, aired up, balanced and started to do the front.  While you can stuff a 170 rear onto a front rim, there is no way a 120 will fit on a 5.5 rear wheel.  I guess I needed the practice.

[somegirl]

I was on a sailboat with some guy and it was pretty rough and windy out.  We decided to drop sails and motor in.  Cranked the motor, rev'd the shit out of it but we weren't going anywhere.  We were getting nervou that it was going to take a LONG time to get back to the marina.  For about 20 min of engine screaming and us not going anywhere... the skip decided to take it out of neutral...   

What a maroon!

[superjohn]

  I would need to post to this thread hourly to keep track of them all. The list includes:

Calling my Mom in May to wish her happy birthday. Her birthday is in March.
Routinely driving to work and getting all the way into the building only to realize I forgot my badge and have to go home and get it.
Making inappropriate comments on a conference call only to realize I was not muted.
the list goes on......

[Duck-Stew]

Whilst slaving away at a car dealership in Santa Fe NM years back, I did a routine oil change & 'quick as hell look the car over' service (under 30 minutes please!).  Had other stuff on the mind and installed the drainplug and threaded it all the way in by hand.  Finished up the oil change, and drove the car out.

It wasn't until later that day that I remembered that I forgot to torque the thing in.  Oh shit.  Had the service writer call the customer all day the next day.  Nothing.  Had him call a few more times the following day.  Nothing.  (at this point, he was getting miffed at me for even asking?!?)  Ok.  Whatever I figured.  Few months later one of the techs calls me over to his lift to check out a car (usually 'cuz somethings wrong with it that's funny).  The drain plug was in by 1 thread.  That's it.  Turns out it was the same car...  I got lucky that day!!!

---------------------------------------------------------

Same tech that called me over, different car...  Customer came in complaining of no windshield washers on thier Subaru.  Tech worked, and worked, and worked on it for about an hour.  Calls me over to get a 2nd opinion before he spends all day on the car.  I mention, 'Hey Dave (not Mr. I btw), do you know there's a dead mouse in the washer tank?'  Dave looks, and then puts both hands to his mouth and SPRINTS outside and begins barfing.  I'm like WTF?  Turns out, he had just finished using his mouth to try and get the fluid flowing through the tubing!     ......yuk!.......  

(it still makes me chuckle when I think about it....)

[redxblack]

I once did the REPLY ALL email instead of REPLY when I was doing tech support. The end user I called a whiny dickhead to practically the whole division had a good sense of humor about it. 

[El Matador]

About 3 months into owning my 695, I came out to find that somebody had tipped my bike in the parking lot.

Pissed off, I went to turn it on and it wouldn't. I nearly disassembled my entire bike until my buddy pointed out that the kill switch was on.

Yes, I felt like an idiot. 

[superjohn]

About 3 months into owning my 695, I came out to find that somebody had tipped my bike in the parking lot.

Pissed off, I went to turn it on and it wouldn't. I nearly disassembled my entire bike until my buddy pointed out that the kill switch was on.

Yes, I felt like an idiot. 

Along the same lines, I had just got my Monster and put gas in it. I went to take off and it kept dying on me. I thought, "WTH?" Then it dawned on me. Sidestand was down. Every time I put it in gear, engine stopped.

I knew I shouldn't have looked at this thread

[Porsche Monkey]

Once upon a time I joined a motorcycle forum. 

[redxblack]

Along the same lines, I had just got my Monster and put gas in it. I went to take off and it kept dying on me. I thought, "WTH?" Then it dawned on me. Sidestand was down. Every time I put it in gear, engine stopped.

I knew I shouldn't have looked at this thread

I did this three days ago. I figured it out quickly enough, but still.

[Jobu]

I routinely tear the house apart looking for my glasses only to find them on my face.   

Just the other day, a buddy was by for a tire change.  I'll be damned, I couldn't get the tire pushed down into the clamps.  I worked at this for almost 10 minutes, apologizing constantly, only to find that I had forgotten to break the bead!   

The DMF server isn't big enough to handle even a fraction of the remainder...

I'll get more space...

continue professor.

Oooh, oooh, pick me, pick me!!!

Shultz, tell us all how to remove the rear brake caliper on your bike..........  

As for myself....  One of my favorites was right after I got the bike put back together and running decent enough to ride it a little.  The battery wasn't charging so I often had to bump start it.  It generally starts easy with a slight bump, but it wasn't working this one time.  Rameses, being the great guy he is, gave me several long and fast pushes until he was too tired (unwilling) to try any more.  Turns out the kill switch was on.