Epic brain farts.

[Popeye the Sailor]

Post 'em up-what have you done that was so incredibly mindless that you can't imagine what in the hell were you thinking? I'll throw out a couple:



At one point, My Jeep would not start. Upon diagnosis, no fuel was getting to the carb-nor did the pump manage to pump any. Having filled up (28 gallon tank) all of fifteen miles prior, I did not check for fuel in the tank. See where I'm going? After spending months finding all the parts I needed and rebuilding the fuel pump (worked on the bench!) and still not getting any fuel, my old man again, inquired if there was gas in it (of course!). He then went and bounced a socket wrench off the side of the tank......which rang hollow. Some SOB siphoned out my gas!


So yes, I spent about 6 months trying to start a truck, with no gas in it.

[metallimonster]

I've got one that relates to gas too.  Not very proud of this and thinking about it still makes me cringe but oh well.

So when I was an Audi Tecnician fresh out of the Audi Factory Training Program, there was  big recall on fuel pumps in A4's.  After completing said recall I had the bright idea to refill the gas tank (with a powered pump) through the access panel instead of the filler neck.  Needless to say, gas went everywhere.   Ended up spending like 20 hours trying to get the smell out.  Had to completely take apart the interior and remove the carpet.  Not a very good week for me and one of the major reasons I went back to college and am now 6 months away from degrees in accounting and finance.  So I guess it could have been a blessing in disguise.  Since I started working in Accounting I couldn't be happier.  Hated working for a dealership.  Sure do miss driving the Audi's though. 

[YellowDuck]

Camping in Sebastian with my buddy and his family, his uncle asked us to drive his old boat full of supplies over to the inlet and meet the rest of the family. We had a good day of hanging out, fishing, eating, drinking etc. His uncle was leaving to go back to the campsite and asked us to drive the boat back to the dock when we were done. He mentioned that sometimes the starter in the outboard doesn't work and you have to pull start it, old 70 HP Johnson.  My buddy, his dad and I had a couple more beers then went to leave, won't start. I said no problem pull the cover off and I'll rip start that pregnant dog back to life. I pulled and pulled, choked, starter fluid everything for fifteen minutes, nothing. My buddy's dad asked if I turned the ignition back on, I said of course. Pull on the motor for another fifteen minutes. Decided to check the plugs to see if they were fouled, tool kit is under the seat, where I noticed the keys were sitting, not in the ignition. Needless to say, it fired on the first pull once I turned the ignition on. 

Seems like a lot of similar farts.

[Rameses]

I seem to remember something about a chain and a ladder...


Should we wait for Ash to chime in with that story?   

[DCXCV]

Driving down a big wash out near Bowie, AZ in the truck looking for climbing areas with my buddy.  At one point I tried to put it in 4x4 and realized I no longer had 4-wheel drive.  Duck under the truck and looks like everything is connected and I can't imagine why it isn't engaging.  Continue driving along, maintaining speed until I get stopped and stuck in a very sandy area.  In the middle of no where.  With only about a gallon of water each.  In the summer.  Crap.
We push, dig, use the floor mats, the spare tire - every trick I know and lots of muscle to get the truck backed up to the hard ground in the middle of the wash.  Still have to cross to get back to the dirt road.  Now we've been out for hours, way overheated, a bit hungry and low on water.  I think we can make it across.  My buddy thinks we can make it across.  But I realize I may be hallucinating at this point - he agrees.  We hike out.  Crash at his old friend's house in town and bring him and his big truck out with us in the morning to get my truck out.  He looks at my truck, looks at us, says, "shoot, you boys ain't stuck!"  I go over, get into the truck and drive it right across the sand in second gear at about 5 mph with the speedo reading about 30.  We were not stuck.
Got home and looked under the truck again.  Everything still looks right.  Grab the vacuum hose that engages the 4x4 - oh, that's ripped.  Stupid x2.

[OverCaffeinated]

Not epic but small farts of mine. That only started after my son was born. Things like cracking an egg and dumping the egg directly into the trash and then putting shell into a bowl. Putting dishes away in the fridge.

[MrFryMoto]

After having my m620 for a while i was blasting down the freeway doing about 100mph 140MPH, i grab for more throttle and suddenly the bike dies.

i start thinking i seized the motor... but it seems to be rotating fine as i'm coasting to the side of the road
i check the oil level and drain plug... fine
i then think maybe i killed the electical system some how... but the headlight is still on - so it can't be too bad
i pull over and lift up the seat to check the fuses... everything looks OK
i check the plug wires... fine
try to start it... no go
check the fuses again... all looks ok
start dialing to call a friend and i notice the Kill switch is off
flip back on and the bike starts right up

i must have bumped it while twisting the throttle 

[Bun-bun]

Not epic but small farts of mine. That only started after my son was born. Things like cracking an egg and dumping the egg directly into the trash and then putting shell into a bowl. Putting dishes away in the fridge.

+1
My brain farts are usually marine related. I've driven down to the marina, gotten ON the boat, usually with a number of guests, and realized I left the boat keys at the house at least 4 times now. I also dropped it off the trailer at the boat ramp, and forgot to put the drain plug in, but that was only once.

[Charlief]

I remodelled my house a few years ago including all mechanicals.  I put a new well pump in with one piece hose down well  set at about 350 feet.  I had no water in the house....  went through the electrical panel..yup power at fuse....  power to well box..  then realized I never wired the pump up when I saw the spools of wire sitting on my bench...  motha f'er! 

I then had to pull up 350 feet of piping by HAND and wire the pump up!  That sucked big time.

[Speedbag]

Jeez, there are way too many.... 

One time, back when I had only one vehicle in the stable, I went to do an oil change. Got the oil drained, pulled the filter, put the plug back in, put the drain oil in the proper storage unit, dumped in the new oil, dammit....

No new filter. And damned if I was gonna put the old one back on and force new juice through it.

I had no running motorbike at the time so I got to ride my mountain bike across town to get a filter. Now I keep two on hand at all times for everything.... 

And, yes, handlebar kill switches have gotten me in the past too. Usually discovered after kickstarting myself nearly to a heart attack.

[Ddan]

Another oil change debacle.  Old oil out, filter swapped out, new oil in. As I'm pouring in the last quart, I realize I hadn't put the drain plug in.  I look under the truck, the only saving grace is that at least I left the drain pan under the truck.    So, not too bad, until I dump all 12 quarts on the floor trying to get to the waste oil bucket.

[herm]

ok, so.....
about 15 years ago, i got this bright idea that i was going to spend my career as a wildland firefighter.........

[Rob Hilding]

When I was younger, I had a bit of a short fuse and would "over-react" to stressful situations sometimes

I used to have an independent Porsche repair shop and was working late one night and couldn't find my 17mm wrench, after picking up the shop,
I looked and looked and got madder and madder........

So mad that I didn't realize that the wrench was


In my hand with some other tools for about the last 20 minutes - that was so stoopid I even got over being pissed-off

[CairnsDuc]

One of the best I had seen, (Thankfully not involved in!)

Out with some friends on some Jet Ski's about 100km's from home, decided to head home after a long day of fun, on the way back (about 10km's from the little town where we had based ourselves for the day) we turned in at a nearby beach/camping spot, we could see some smoke, fire and commotion.

Some campers came down to the water and asked us if we could go back the way we came and try and find the owners of one Campsites that had gone out fishing (We refused as we were low on fuel, and the sea was very rough, and time was not on our side)
The happy campers had turned up, set up there camp, generator and all there gear, started a fire and then decided to go fishing.
Fire got out of control, burned down there camp, and a few others, destroyed 2 cars, blew up a couple of gas bottles and then the fire spread into the local forest and on up the hill.
I really wish I had the Camera that day!

As far as my Brain farts, well the list is very long and very embarrassing 

[LA]

I had lived with a friend and his girlfriend for a year and a half.  She was one of the most beautiful women that ever walked the planet and the most beautiful I have ever seen - even 35 years later  . 

Well, after my friends had broken up for a long time I had occasion to make a pass at Lynn and she shot me down - nearly......killed ......me.

A year later I was at a dinner party and Lynn was there in all her radiant beauty - a wonderful person by the way.  At near the end of the evening Lynn proposition me out loud right in front of everybody - do you want to spend the night at my house tonight?   I said, not too loudly, but so everybody heard, that I was busy with something else.  She and everyone else was startled.  People gasped.

I went outside and literally beat my head on a great big oak tree.

Maybe not the absolutely dumbest thing I've ever done, but certainly one thing I'd change.  If you saw her you would you would understand.

I got on my 72 toaster/cafe BMW and sped away to spend the night alone in our old apartment.

Still can't believe I did that.  Yea, I got even (NOT) with the MOST BEAUTIFUL woman in the world. 

LA