Let me tell you whats good about the rain.

[MendoDave]

My yellow dog Aka: "Bacon Dog" some times brings home pieces of road kill. About 4 or 5 days ago she brought home this rather large deer hide with 3 legs still attached to it and had a wonderful time lording it over the other dogs. She was so happy just laying out there day after day with her grizzly looking hide that it even made me somewhat happy, because I know that such a thing speaks to her wolf roots. I say somewhat happy, because on the other hand it looks terrible and smells even worse.

Well yesterday afternoon Joy went into town to do some errands, and she loaded up all the dogs as well, so that they could go to the dog park and meet other dogs and do dog stuff. Well do you know that the deer carcass, seeing that it was unattended, just got up, ran down to the burn pile and flopped its stinky self right on the top?   Well when yellow dog came home she looked around for that old smelly carcass but she couldn't find out what happened to it.

Well around 1 am this morning I woke up on account of the beers I had to drink after seeing that terrible looking anteater bike on this very forum. And KGO was playing softly on the radio, talking about health care or something. And I noticed that the rain was pattering softly outside as well. And I said to myself, Self! this is the moment you've been waiting for all summer. So I got my flashlight and raincoat and went outside in my pajamas with the yellow dog, and my little black and white dog, and my dads dog that we are babysitting this week while he goes deer hunting in Oregon. Anyway we all went outside into the rainy dark, and walked over to the shed where I keep the gas cans and lawn mowers and other stuff. I grabbed the small little 1 gallon can that has the diesel in it and all of us trotted down to the burn pile.

This burn pile was composed of brush cleared from the trail to the beach, and the slash from the offending Cypress tree that I cut down this spring because it had finally grown up in front of the satellite dish and caused me a lot of grief. Don't worry though, almost all of the Cypress has been cut up and split into firewood, which resides now in the wood shed all nice & dry. Still though, the brush pile was getting to be about 6 feet high and 10 feet across, and I wanted to get it burned before it got all rain soaked. So with a little bit of diesel sloshed on the pile, some on this side and some on that, and a small bit of diesel soaked newspaper, the whole pile was soon engulfed in flames approaching 20 feet high.  

And the dogs and I stood around in the light of this bonfire from 30 feet away, and watched all the thousands of sparks fly high into the night sky. And I was very contented knowing that none of them would land elsewhere and start a fire someplace else, because the rain had started to increase. For a while I could see the deer carcass on top of the fire, but it became indistinct in the flames after a while and I won't have to see that thing anymore. About the only thing that could have made any of this any better, would have been a pile of those Ardvark bikes in a big stack up on top of the burn pile with the deer carcass. I can just imagine their "beaks" engulfed in flames and eventually being transformed into thousands of sparks flying off into the night sky. Maybe I can go back to sleep and dream of such a thing while the rain  patters away outside the open window.

[somegirl]

Well do you know that the deer carcass, seeing that it was unattended, just got up, ran down to the burn pile and flopped its stinky self right on the top?   Well when yellow dog came home she looked around for that old smelly carcass but she couldn't find out what happened to it.

[victor441]

yep, sounds very Mendo alright .....lived up in Willits and Ukiah myself for 10 years

[maillotpois]

That was a great read! 

[jimboecv]

I want to be at the next one.  I'll bring the beer.

[MendoDave]

This time next year. I cant promise a carcass, but if somebody wants to donate some ardvark bikes...I'll buy extra diesel. 

[desmoquattro]

You can make a great improvised flame thrower with an insecticide sprayer and gasoline...

[MendoDave]

 



And you know about this...How?

[johnc]

And you know about this...How?

you really need to ask? 

[MendoDave]

I do. Especially if it involves some near mishap.

[desmoquattro]

And you know about this...How?

I'm a redneck...it's instinct.

[jimboecv]

You can make a great improvised flame thrower with an insecticide sprayer and gasoline...

Also-
a paint can filled with gas, pop a few holes in the top and shoot a tracer right over the top of the lid; kablewie.
Sobie-bomb - fill empty up to base of neck, screw on lid, place next to camp-fire (pismo's nice for this), flee.  woosh-kablewie.  Happy.

[desmoquattro]

Also-
a paint can filled with gas, pop a few holes in the top and shoot a tracer right over the top of the lid; kablewie.
Sobie-bomb - fill empty up to base of neck, screw on lid, place next to camp-fire (pismo's nice for this), flee.  woosh-kablewie.  Happy.

...always preceded by the words "Hey y'all...watch this!"

[jimboecv]

or....ya might want to duck...

[Desmostro]

You can make a great improvised flame thrower with an insecticide sprayer and gasoline...

Add a compressed OXY bottle to the nozzle and you'll have the "thrower" part