News:

This Forum is not for sale

 

The Official No One Gives a Sh*t Thread

Started by SacDuc, March 15, 2010, 12:21:37 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages 1 ... 71 72 73 74 75 ... 119
User actions

Speedbag

#1080
January 16, 2012, 04:13:42 AM
Quote from: lazyjinglin717 on January 15, 2012, 04:43:02 PM
I have 85 dollars in my account to last me until the 25th

I'll be right there with you once I pay a big stack of medical bills.....  :P
I tend to regard most of humanity as little more than walking talking dilated sphincters. - Rat

lazylightnin717

#1081
January 16, 2012, 05:15:33 PM
Fortunately...

Work decided to hand out bonus checks today  [bacon] [bacon] [bacon]

But I'm sure you don't give a shit

At least now I can buy my sons diapers...

So he can take a shit  :P
Comes a time
When the blind man takes your hand
Says don't you see
Gotta' make it somehow
On the dreams you still believe

ducpainter

#1082
January 16, 2012, 06:52:30 PM
Quote from: lazyjinglin717 on January 16, 2012, 05:15:33 PM
Fortunately...

Work decided to hand out bonus checks today  [bacon] [bacon] [bacon]

But I'm sure you don't give a shit

At least now I can buy my sons diapers...

So he can take a shit  :P
one must keep up the input...

to output...

ratio
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”


RAT900

#1083
February 04, 2012, 01:38:14 AM Last Edit: February 04, 2012, 01:58:44 AM by RAT900
I used to torture a disliked co-worker. He tried to be my boss but I already had one.

He was an asshole.  He had badly thinning hair and he would do a Donald Trump sorta puff-up on it and otherwise try to give it the illusion of having more body than was actually there.

He was the account director on Lehman Brothers....their IT operation was across the river from Manhattan in Jersey City.....

2 ways to get there from Manhattan...water taxi or the Path Tubes (subway)  

He always would insist that I come with him.... since between the 2 of us I was the only one who knew what he was talking about.

He would always want to take the Path....I would insist on the water taxi and then I would stand out on the deck...

since he would want to natter and lecture me on how the meeting should go he had to brave the winds on deck...

it was fun to watch him try to sort his hair out when we got to dock....after the walk over to Lehman's offices I would wait until we were in the elevator

and I would tell him his hair was a little messed up....he would silently freak-out as he tried to get his Trump going again

I closed a deal for him once with Lehman and he insisted that he buy lunch....back in Manhattan....

I told him the Grill Room at Smith and Wollensky's would be good since it was by our offices at the time

sitting at lunch... him across from me telling me all the wonderful things he needed me to do so he could make more money on Lehman

all of a sudden he stops...drops his fork....looks at me in horror/shock and clutches his throat...very noisy in the Grill Room

I studied his face for a moment and asked him if he was choking and couldn't breathe

he nodded yes as panic completely seized him...I asked him if he wanted me to give him the Heimlich..... he nodded emphatically.... now really desperate

I paused eyeing him as I forked one more piece of steak into my mouth and got up, walked around the table and did the Heimlich and he cleared

I went back to my side, sat down and continued eating...he was sucking down air and said "you saved my life"

I looked up at him and said "stop being dramatic, I wasn't about to cover this lunch tab"

Our relationship turned a corner after that...he was appropriately nervous around me


well that's my contribution for the week...back to weasel-wording Bid Responses now......
This is an insult to the Pez community

The Bacon Junkie

#1084
February 04, 2012, 06:35:12 AM
Quote
I looked up at him and said "stop being dramatic, I wasn't about to cover this lunch tab"


[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

You, Sir, are evil...

I approve!   [clap]




[bacon]
Quote from: bobspapa on December 19, 2011, 03:11:09 PM
I only see jesus having a sauna with a teletubbie.
Quote from: El Matador on December 19, 2011, 03:19:02 PM
I find it disturbing that you're imagining me in a sauna, never mind the teletubbie aspect of it

Save the Brass...

lethe

#1085
February 04, 2012, 06:41:50 AM
The old Lehman floors at 101 Hudson look like a set from a zombie movie now.
'05 Monster 620
'86 FZ600
'05 KTM SMC 625

fastwin

#1086
February 04, 2012, 08:37:00 AM
Quote from: lazyjinglin717 on January 16, 2012, 05:15:33 PM
Fortunately...

Work decided to hand out bonus checks today  [bacon] [bacon] [bacon]

But I'm sure you don't give a shit

At least now I can buy my sons diapers...

So he can take a shit  :P

This reminds me (in a weird kinda way [laugh]) of a great bumper sticker I saw on a car a week or two ago. It said "Politicians and diapers should be changed often and for the same reason.  Mark Twain". Cracked me up!! [laugh] [laugh]
I plan to list the Federal Gov't. as a dependent on my next 1040 tax filing!

I have flying honey badgers and I'm not afraid to use them!

The fact that flame throwers exist is proof that someone somewhere said "I'd sure like to set those people over there on fire but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

CONFIDENCE: the feeling you have right before you understand the situation.

fastwin

#1087
February 04, 2012, 08:40:07 AM
Quote from: The Bacon Junkie on February 04, 2012, 06:35:12 AM

[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]

You, Sir, are evil...

I approve!   [clap]




[bacon]

What he said. [thumbsup] [beer]
I plan to list the Federal Gov't. as a dependent on my next 1040 tax filing!

I have flying honey badgers and I'm not afraid to use them!

The fact that flame throwers exist is proof that someone somewhere said "I'd sure like to set those people over there on fire but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

CONFIDENCE: the feeling you have right before you understand the situation.

rgramjet

#1088
February 04, 2012, 12:55:28 PM
My 5 year old son discovered that a sock full of batteries is an effective tool to ward off his 9 year old brother..........I've never been more proud!

Quote from: ducpainter on May 20, 2010, 02:11:47 PM
You're obviously a crack smokin' redneck carpenter. :-*

in 1st and 2nd it was like this; ringy-ting-ting-ting slow boring ho-hum .......oh!........OMG! What the fu.........HOLY SHIT !!--ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
-Sofadriver

What has been smelled, cannot be unsmelled!

fastwin

#1089
February 04, 2012, 02:10:53 PM
Survival of the fittest. [laugh] If they were baby birds one would be trying to push the other one out of the nest. [popcorn] Just brotherly love. My older bro and I survived each other... but just barely. ;) We still talk but thankfully haven't hit each other in decades. [beer]
I plan to list the Federal Gov't. as a dependent on my next 1040 tax filing!

I have flying honey badgers and I'm not afraid to use them!

The fact that flame throwers exist is proof that someone somewhere said "I'd sure like to set those people over there on fire but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

CONFIDENCE: the feeling you have right before you understand the situation.

Buckethead

#1090
February 04, 2012, 04:45:20 PM
Quote from: fastwin on February 04, 2012, 02:10:53 PM
We still talk but thankfully haven't hit each other in decades. [beer]

First thing I do every time I see my brother these days is shake his hand and kick him in the shins.
Quote from: Jester on April 11, 2013, 07:29:35 AM
I can't wait until Marquez gets on his level and makes Jorge trip on his tampon string. 

muskrat

#1091
February 06, 2012, 03:39:33 PM
Quote from: rgramjet on February 04, 2012, 12:55:28 PM
My 5 year old son discovered that a sock full of batteries is an effective tool to ward off his 9 year old brother..........I've never been more proud!


Proud Papa.  [thumbsup]. A fair fight is one you win!  [evil]
Can we thin the gene pool? 

2015 MTS 1200
09 Electra Glide

Stella

#1092
February 07, 2012, 03:15:13 PM
My day:

PT
work
vet visit
work
clean dog puke
work
clean cat puke (on my favorite green fine tip sharpie)
work
acupuncture
work

jeebers.  send me back to vegas.    :P


Add:  laugh out loud (which I rarely do) at Rat's co-worker story.   [laugh]   [clap]
"To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites." ~ Robert Heinlein

ducpainter

#1093
February 07, 2012, 03:18:29 PM
Quote from: Stella StayPuft on February 07, 2012, 03:15:13 PM
My day:

PT
work
vet visit
work
clean dog puke
work
clean cat puke (on my favorite green fine tip sharpie)
work
acupuncture
work

jeebers.  send me back to vegas.    :P


Add:  laugh out loud (which I rarely do) at Rat's co-worker story.   [laugh]   [clap]
Not that I give a shit...

you should lol more often. ;D
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”


Stella

#1094
February 07, 2012, 03:29:52 PM
I'm more of a snicker-er
Not an lol-er

;)
"To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites." ~ Robert Heinlein
Print
Go Up Pages 1 ... 71 72 73 74 75 ... 119
User actions