DMF joke thread

[Duck-Stew]

Either way, you get a very pissed of kitty.

[aaronb]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_cat_paradox

[Jobu]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttered_cat_paradox

See, the cat won't take off.   

[Porsche Monkey]

See, the cat won't take off.   

This isn't about the cat taking off. Its already taken off.  This is about the landing or lack there of. Have you even been reading the thread before you post?  I for one am buttering up some toast and looking for the kitty to put this to the test.  Gots mythbusters on speeddial.   

[Jobu]

This isn't about the cat taking off. Its already taken off.  This is about the landing or lack there of. Have you even been reading the thread before you post?  I for one am buttering up some toast and looking for the kitty to put this to the test.  Gots mythbusters on speeddial.   

Do you have any idea what I'm referencing (as in, the plane on a conveyor)?

Did you read the Wiki article?

I'm guessing no on both accounts.  The article says some thought exercises produce a theory that the cat would just hover in mid-air.

Did I miss something or is this the "DMF no jokes thread" now?

[Mother]

look, this is a serious discussion...there will be no fun had at the beach...

[Jobu]

look, this is a serious discussion...there will be no fun had at the beach...

Yea, but what about on the Mountain?   

[jdubbs32584]

look, this is a serious discussion...there will be no fun had at the beach...

Don't make me come over there. 

[Randimus Maximus]

Don't make me come over there. 

Are you guys both posting from across the room again?

[Mother]

who does that?

[Jobu]

who does that?

I don't know.  That would just be stupid.

[ducpainter]

I don't know.  That would just be stupid.

and we all know...

ya can't fix stupid.

[Porsche Monkey]

Do you have any idea what I'm referencing (as in, the plane on a conveyor)?

Did you read the Wiki article?

I'm guessing no on both accounts.  The article says some thought exercises produce a theory that the cat would just hover in mid-air.

Did I miss something or is this the "DMF no jokes thread" now?

The plane would take off and the cat would hover. Yes I am familiar with the articles. Take what I say with a grain of salt and a bit of sarcasm. 

[sno_duc]

Back on topic.

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,


Kentuckians, Tennesseans, OKies, Texans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.'


You must now refer to them as


APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS .

And furthermore


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a
' BREASTED AMERICAN.'


2. She is not ' EASY ' - She is

'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'


3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a

'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'


4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a

'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'


5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes

' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'


6. She is not a 'TWO- BIT HOOKER' - She is a

' LOW COST PROVIDER.'


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:


1. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a

'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'


2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is

' OVERLY CAUCASIAN ..'


3. He does not ' GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He

' INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'


4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in

'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'


5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'


6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's

'REAR CLEAVAGE.'

[Jobu]

The plane would take off and the cat would hover. Yes I am familiar with the articles. Take what I say with a grain of salt and a bit of sarcasm. 

and we all know...

ya can't fix stupid.

I've been trying for years...