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Double meanings abound

Started by Monsterlover, September 25, 2011, 09:13:11 AM

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Monsterlover

September 25, 2011, 09:13:11 AM
A while back I had a blanket over my shoulders and went to give my wife a hug and wrap the blanket around her too.  Too short to reach.

Her (brain failing to come up with the word blanket) "your thing isn't long enough"

Me "that's not what a husband wants to hear from his wife"

Laughter ensues.


And yesterday I bought a big jug of bottled water (3L and it's sort of cube shaped)  I had it between my legs while I was driving because once we hit the highway I wanted some of it.  It was slightly awkward working the gas/clutch/brake with this thing there.

Me "I'm sitting all bow-legged with this thing between my legs"

Her "yeah, it's pretty huge"

It dawned on both of us at the same time.

Laughter ensues.

[laugh]

It's the little things in life that keep you moving.
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

zarn02

#1
September 25, 2011, 09:27:41 AM
[laugh]
"If it weren't for our gallows humor, we'd have nothing to hang our hopes on."

Stella

#2
September 25, 2011, 09:31:09 AM
Good stuff.   [laugh]



Laughed hard just last night when my friend spoke an innocent double, double entendre'.
As innocent as it was, still can't type it.

;)

"To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites." ~ Robert Heinlein

fastwin

#3
September 25, 2011, 09:36:35 AM
I need to read more funny stuff this morning! [laugh] Shitty night of sleep countered by laughter. ;D Where's that joke thread? [coffee]
I plan to list the Federal Gov't. as a dependent on my next 1040 tax filing!

I have flying honey badgers and I'm not afraid to use them!

The fact that flame throwers exist is proof that someone somewhere said "I'd sure like to set those people over there on fire but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

CONFIDENCE: the feeling you have right before you understand the situation.

lethe

#4
September 25, 2011, 09:51:57 AM
I was smacking my wife with a 3 foot long rubber snake yesterday at a kid's birthday party.
I don't recall any of the specific things we were saying but we were laughing an awful lot.
'05 Monster 620
'86 FZ600
'05 KTM SMC 625

Monsterlover

#5
September 25, 2011, 10:08:39 AM
That's really the point isn't it
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

brimo

#6
September 26, 2011, 02:12:15 AM
I had a bit of a reputation as a joker around the place and my reputation spread to my local bar. Down there one night and this beautiful blonde came up to me and said "I hear you're  a pretty funny guy, give me a double entendre".
Unlike me to be  stuck for words,but, by the end of the night, I still ended up giving her one.
"The make the beast with two backsin monkey started it..."

From a story by RAT900
http://www.ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=54722.msg1015917#msg1015917

Adamm0621

#7
September 26, 2011, 02:22:10 AM
The only problem I have is that in the Army, every possible double entendre is immediately followed by "That's what she said."  I am so make the beast with two backsing tired of that phrase.  It used to be funny... now it's just another thing that the Army has sucked the fun out of.
2010 Monster 696 Dark

Latinbalar

#8
September 28, 2011, 06:45:05 AM
That's what she said!
I live vicariously thru myself......

Monsterlover

#9
September 28, 2011, 07:00:02 AM
[laugh]
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

KnightofNi

#10
September 28, 2011, 10:00:00 AM
having an entire conversation via text msg like this right now.

my fav lines thusfar

"sometimes it's better to just be suprised by it."

"you seem to be pretty good at sliding it right in."

"you have to watch your angle when you do try to slide it in."


and the conversation was started by an innuendo so this is like triple entendre or something
Life, alas is very drear. Up with the glass and down with the beer!
Quote from: RB on September 09, 2009, 05:31:47 AM
Seriously, when i am 800years old i want to rock like Lemmy! it is a religion that requires lots of determination, drugs, and Marshall stacks.

now with clavicle of steel (stainless) wrist o' steel (11/2011)

Buckethead

#11
September 28, 2011, 07:26:13 PM
We had a guy at work who drove the "That's what she said!" bus off the cliff and into the ground.

I was out shopping one day and saw a t shirt with a picture of Tweety Bird saying "Dat's what she said!" and took a picture of it.

The next time he said it at work, I pulled up that picture and told him "Look: when a washed up 80's cartoon character has stolen your punchline, maybe it's time to give up the joke. It's dead."
Quote from: Jester on April 11, 2013, 07:29:35 AM
I can't wait until Marquez gets on his level and makes Jorge trip on his tampon string. 

Monsterlover

#12
April 26, 2013, 07:12:09 PM
Not really a double meaning but funny.

Just now I was looking through the freezer for a fruit pyramid. Its what I call these frozen triangular shaped minute maid fruit popsicle things. I wanted a red one because red is the best.

Of course I have eaten all the red ones already.

I pick up an orange one. "make the beast with two backs". And I toss it back.

Another orange one. "make the beast with two backs"

Orange. "make the beast with two backs"

They're all orange. "make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs make the beast with two backs"

Wife: "what are you make the beast with two backsing over there?"

We laugh.

I find a grape one.

:D
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Billyzoom

#13
April 26, 2013, 07:19:10 PM
One of my favorite work moments was in an elevator with some co-workers.  We were heading out for lunch when a stunning, though somewhat straightlaced HR woman entered on the next floor.  She said hi, then asked what I'd gotten delivered.  I asked what she meant, and she said 'I WAS WALKING PAST YOUR OFFICE AND COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOUR HUGE PACKAGE."  It was fantastic seeing everyone else try not to burst into laughter while she innocently waited for a response.

Good times.

krolik

#14
April 26, 2013, 07:20:19 PM
Quote from: Adamm0621 on September 26, 2011, 02:22:10 AM
The only problem I have is that in the Army, every possible double entendre is immediately followed by "That's what she said."  I am so make the beast with two backsing tired of that phrase.  It used to be funny... now it's just another thing that the Army has sucked the fun out of.

Try switching to "Just like your first time" instead. [evil]
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Quote from: SacDuc
No. I'm a different type of idiot altogether.
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