Corrupt a wish

[roy-nexus-6]

Granted, but you must put the poop there with your own ungloved hand.

I wish I invented a gun that shoots rabid weasels at criminals

Granted.

But it backfires every now and then.

I wish I invented a tablet that you'd only need to take ONCE for your body fat to drop down to 5% - for life.

[Mother]

Granted.

But it backfires every now and then.

I wish I invented a tablet that you'd only need to take ONCE for your body fat to drop down to 5% - for life.

which you do

and all the women an the planet take it

resulting in infertility and the death of the planet in a generation

I wish i had invented bricks

[Grampa]

which you do

and all the women an the planet take it

resulting in infertility and the death of the planet in a generation

I wish i had invented bricks

poof.... you did, but they are bricks made of pot, and everytime a house burns down, twinkie sales go up, and you are sued by fat firemen.

I wish for happy trees

[ducatiz]

poof.... you did, but they are bricks made of pot, and everytime a house burns down, twinkie sales go up, and you are sued by fat firemen.

I wish for happy trees

Granted, but you are the one who is required to orally service all of them.

I wish I had a real wish granted.

[Drunken Monkey]

I wish I had a real wish granted.

Done. Unfortunately you said "had", in past tense. So remember when you were 12 and wished that your ass would stop itching? That was the wish that got granted.

I wish I could have more free time.

[Grampa]

Done. Unfortunately you said "had", in past tense. So remember when you were 12 and wished that your ass would stop itching? That was the wish that got granted.

I wish I could have more free time.

granted..... welcome to gitmo.... all the free time a man could ever want

I wish The sex pistols were still around.

[oldschoollion]

I wish The sex pistols were still around.

granted, but they started to suck after a few years and are now an embarassment and  you  want them to stop.

i wish i didnt have to pay income tax.

[Grampa]

granted, but they started to suck after a few years and are now an embarassment and  you  want them to stop.

i wish i didnt have to pay income tax.

granted.... poof, you are Richard Hatch.


I wish I had a huge pianist.

[Porsche Monkey]

granted.... poof, you are Richard Hatch.


I wish I had a huge pianist.

Granted, you have your huge pianist but no longer can ride a Ducati because it is so huge.  You have to resort to riding a harley.

I wish I could vaporize womens clothes

[Grampa]

Granted.... but it only works at NOW conventions.

I wish I May I wish I might

[ODrides]

poof.... you did, but they are bricks made of pot, and everytime a house burns down, twinkie sales go up, and you are sued by fat firemen.

OMFG!  That put me over the edge.  Funny shit, bp!  </off topic>

[Drunken Monkey]

I wish I May I wish I might

you have the wish you wish tonight. But then you are beaten to death by the punctuation police.

I wish they'd just hurry up and fire my boss.

[DCXCV]

you have the wish you wish tonight. But then you are beaten to death by the punctuation police.

I wish they'd just hurry up and fire my boss.

Your boss is fired, along with you, after what will be remembered simply as "The Spatula Incident."

I wish it the daily high in Tucson would be 80 for the rest of the summer, but we'd still get monsoons.

[Monsterlover]

Granted, the temp is now 80. . . . . . . . . . . Celsius.

You are decidedly uncomfortable.  It's like Silent Hill.

I wish my dog could solve Quantum Physics equations.

[Grampa]

Granted, the temp is now 80. . . . . . . . . . . Celsius.

You are decidedly uncomfortable.  It's like Silent Hill.

I wish my dog could solve Quantum Physics equations.

he now can.... but he now makes you his pregnant dog, and smacks you with a rolled up magazine, for humping his leg.


I wish I could swim faster than aquaman