Corrupt a wish

[TiNi]

i wish i could type faster.

your wish has been granted...
but the company you work for is so excited by your lighting fast digits,
that they force you to type everything for everyone at work.

i wish my coworker was a nice person

[Grampa]

poof... your coworker in now nice, but they now smell like dog toes.



I wish I was in the pool right now, alive, cold beer in hand, and nothing bad could come of it.

[DCXCV]

poof... your coworker in now nice, but they now smell like dog toes.



I wish I was in the pool right now, alive, cold beer in hand, and nothing bad could come of it.

Granted, unfortunately bad is subjective and your pool is filled with the melted cheese that was once your house and your cold beer will not open and can not be removed from your hand as it is so cold that it fused to your frostbite.

I wish there was a mix-up during my 15k service and they give me back a tri-colore (which works, isn't reported stolen, etc.) instead of my 695 (for just the regular maintainance bill) and I am physically able to ride the replacement bike.

[Porsche Monkey]

Granted. You are in a pool with a cold endless supply of beer. Unfortunatly you have no forum access while in said pool.

I wish for BP's endless supply of beer and his pool.

[aaronb]

granted.  but BP only drinks Schlitz. 

I wish i had the rest of the month off to ride my bike around the country

[ducpenguin]

Granted, unfortunately bad is subjective and your pool is filled with the melted cheese that was once your house and your cold beer will not open and can not be removed from your hand as it is so cold that it fused to your frostbite.

I wish there was a mix-up during my 15k service and they give me back a tri-colore (which works, isn't reported stolen, etc.) instead of my 695 (for just the regular maintainance bill) and I am physically able to ride the replacement bike.

Done...What was not realized was that the paperwork you signed off on gave you ownership of said Tri-Color...and subsequently is totaled as you as you park it out front of the shop and it is run over as the Duc Truck comes in for demo day.  Unfortunately, insurance doesn't cover it because you haven't had time to switch it and your 695 is currently being ridden by a 450lb. man who is wearing a Harley jacket!

I wish that work was an option...with no effect monetarily.

[ducatiz]

Done...What was not realized was that the paperwork you signed off on gave you ownership of said Tri-Color...and subsequently is totaled as you as you park it out front of the shop and it is run over as the Duc Truck comes in for demo day.  Unfortunately, insurance doesn't cover it because you haven't had time to switch it and your 695 is currently being ridden by a 450lb. man who is wearing a Harley jacket!

I wish that work was an option...with no effect monetarily.

>poof< but as a result, you get bored and watch soap operas and game shows all day, eat crap food and get fat as a house and become one of those obscenely obese people who have to be lifted by a forklift and surgically removed from the fibers of your sofa.

i wish i could directly control my metabolism -- fat/muscle ratio etc.

[Porsche Monkey]

Granted.   You can control your metabolism but you are like one of those little girls that think they are always fat so you have stopped eating all together and now hide in a cave. You have become Gollum from lord of the rings.


I wish for a life time supply of bacon. 

[x136]

A giant crate of tofu bacon appears on your doorstep.

I wish I had a dollar.

[Porsche Monkey]

Damn nasty tofu bacon.

Granted. You have your dollar. Unfortunatly you get jumped by a gang of nasty whored out ex strippers looking for their next meth fix and they steal it.


I wish tofu was never invented.

[lethe]

Damn nasty tofu bacon.

Granted. You have your dollar. Unfortunatly you get jumped by a gang of nasty whored out ex strippers looking for their next meth fix and they steal it.


I wish tofu was never invented.

It wasn't and in it's place fecesfu was invented as a low cost meat substitute may from pig shit.

I wish I had the tooth fairy trapped in a cage.

[Drunken Monkey]

I wish I had the tooth fairy trapped in a cage.

Granted. Except you're trapped in there with her and she's pissed off.

I wish I had good teeth, rather than the "british" ones I'm stuck with now.

[lethe]

Granted. Except you're trapped in there with her and she's pissed off.

I wish I had good teeth, rather than the "british" ones I'm stuck with now.

angry fairies are sexy. 

You are given perfect teeth, but they are located in your ass along with your new tongue.

I wish I were a 1/4 my size so I could saddle up the dog and ride into the sunset.

[ducatiz]

angry fairies are sexy. 

You are given perfect teeth, but they are located in your ass along with your new tongue.

I wish I were a 1/4 my size so I could saddle up the dog and ride into the sunset.

poof!!  but now you are pursued relentlessly by Gidget the Midget..

I wish Frodo and Sam would finally express their true love.

[KnightofNi]

angry fairies are sexy. 

You are given perfect teeth, but they are located in your ass along with your new tongue.

I wish I were a 1/4 my size so I could saddle up the dog and ride into the sunset.

you are 1/4 of your size, however, you overestimated your true size and now must saddle up the ferret and ride it. the dog chases you both down and makes you into poo


i wish it wasn't so gay to drink the drinks i'm drinking tonight.

poof!!  but now you are pursued relentlessly by Gidget the Midget..

I wish Frodo and Sam would finally express their true love.

type slower assholes!!!