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Existentialism and the Jello myth

Started by Grampa, November 03, 2013, 11:51:55 AM

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Grampa

November 03, 2013, 11:51:55 AM Last Edit: November 03, 2013, 11:54:11 AM by bobspapa
monday morning a video camera will be shoved up my ass

i realize that for some people there's a bit of a "whats the big deal, people pay extra for that in Vegas" attitude about it

it's not so much the whole "I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!" aspect of it that has me concerned and distraught

it's that I can't eat solid food today

chicken broth, popsicles and Jello are all I get to choose from

Jello is a lie

it appears to have form and content

but when you eat it (and I use the term eat loosely here) nothing happens

there is no texture

there is no shape

there is no substance

in the 70s Jello marketed itself using the phrase " there's always room for Jello"

well no shit jack, there's always room for something when that something is nothing

the popsicle is only marginally better

the popsciles only saving grace is that, at 50, I feel like a lil bit of a rebel eating popsicles for breakfast

eating jello just makes me feel old

im saving the chicken broth for dinner, paring it with a fine glass of iced water, followed with a bowl of green nihilism


yuuuummmmmm
Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

d3vi@nt

#1
November 03, 2013, 12:20:32 PM
The less you put in, the better off you'll be. It's just going to come back out in short order and with a vengeance.

I feel for ya. Good luck!
'13 MTS GT
'99 ST2
'07 M695 - Sold

Grampa

#2
November 03, 2013, 12:23:40 PM
oh...and I also have two rounds of some special "colonblast" liquid I have to drink today and later tonight.

[drink]
Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

ducpainter

#3
November 03, 2013, 01:14:12 PM
Quote from: bobspapa on November 03, 2013, 12:23:40 PM
oh...and I also have two rounds of some special "colonblast" liquid I have to drink today and later tonight.

[drink]
That's the best part...

pissing all that jello out your ass.  ;)
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”


Ducatamount

#4
November 03, 2013, 01:15:39 PM
It's no big deal as long as they give you the proper amount of anaesthesia. Too much and you may be nauseous afterwards.
I like to see how big a piece of jello I can swallow in one gulp.
half fast

krolik

#5
November 03, 2013, 02:11:59 PM
Pics or it didn't happen.  [evil]
'03 M800 "not so dark" Dark, Remus high pipes, Cycle Cat clipons & frame sliders, CRG lanesplitter mirrors, Sargent seat, tail chop, Nichols flywheel, modified & powdercoated rearsets, 15/44 gearing, 520 chain & sprockets, TPO Beast pod filters, Power Comander III. 72.95 Rear Wheel HP & 54.29 ft-lbs!

Quote from: SacDuc
No. I'm a different type of idiot altogether.

Randimus Maximus

#6
November 03, 2013, 02:21:28 PM
Quote from: krolik on November 03, 2013, 02:11:59 PM
Video Pics or it didn't happen.  [evil]

Fixed.  It is 2013 after all.  [roll]

;D

Grampa

#7
November 03, 2013, 02:23:19 PM
Quote from: ducpainter on November 03, 2013, 01:14:12 PM
That's the best part...

pissing all that jello out your ass.  ;)


ooooooohhhhhh....double rainbow!
Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

Grampa

#8
November 03, 2013, 02:27:57 PM
IT'S PEOPLE!


Gaspar, Melchior and Balthasar kicked me out of the band..... they said I didnt fit the image they were trying to project. 

So I went solo.  -Me

Some people call 911..... some people are 911
-Marcus Luttrell

ducpainter

#9
November 03, 2013, 02:47:47 PM
Cheers... [drink]
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”


koko64

#10
November 03, 2013, 03:00:06 PM Last Edit: November 03, 2013, 06:12:50 PM by koko64
"People pay extra for that in Vegas" [laugh]

My prayer for you is that that the nurses are hot! {Especially if you get a sponge bath).

Good luck, hope they lube the camera and all they find is jello.
2015 Scrambler 800

abby normal

#11
November 03, 2013, 04:10:43 PM
If I was you, I'd mount some handles on the bog, cause later on
You're going to be doing your best space shuttle
Imitation.

In all seriousness, good on you for taking care of yourself.
It's a pain in the ass (sorry) but potentially life saving.
1990 851 bp
2004 S4R
1997 YZF 1000R
1987 NT650
2010 BMW s1000rr
2013 848 evo corse se

duc_fan

#12
November 03, 2013, 05:07:21 PM
BP: I feel you on the Jell-O thing.

I've had more than one scoping already... and I'm only 30.  Gonna have to go through that every 3-5 years from now 'til I die.

Cancer sucks.

Screen for it, catch it early, and it can be dealt with easily.  Don't let it get far enough along they gotta do chemo.

To all y'all who are 50 or over and haven't had a screening colonoscopy: man up and go get it already.

To all y'all, regardless of age: if there is ANYTHING abnormal about your poopin', go get a colonoscopy.

I speak from experience.  If I'd gotten this taken care of sooner, mine wouldn't have been Stage IIIB.  I also wouldn't be staring at a suspected lung metastasis on a CT scan right now.

Seriously... Get. Your. Colon. Scoped.
"Science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind." -- Albert Einstein

"I want a peaceful soul. I need a bigger gun." -- Charlie Crews on Life

Street: 2000 Cagiva Gran Canyon
Track: 2005 Honda CBR 600RR - Salvage project
Sold: 2001 Ducati SS900ie - Gone, but not forgotten...

ducpainter

#13
November 03, 2013, 05:37:10 PM
Quote from: duc_fan on November 03, 2013, 05:07:21 PM
BP: I feel you on the Jell-O thing.

I've had more than one scoping already... and I'm only 30.  Gonna have to go through that every 3-5 years from now 'til I die.

Cancer sucks.

Screen for it, catch it early, and it can be dealt with easily.  Don't let it get far enough along they gotta do chemo.

To all y'all who are 50 or over and haven't had a screening colonoscopy: man up and go get it already.

To all y'all, regardless of age: if there is ANYTHING abnormal about your poopin', go get a colonoscopy.

I speak from experience.  If I'd gotten this taken care of sooner, mine wouldn't have been Stage IIIB.  I also wouldn't be staring at a suspected lung metastasis on a CT scan right now.

Seriously... Get. Your. Colon. Scoped.
To add to this warning...

While I joke...I've had my butt cam.

The guy that helped me frame my new house is a colon cancer survivor.

He doesn't like feeling tied up inside like he can't stand up straight, and the effects of chemo have stayed with him for years now.

It's scary, but just do it.
"Once you accept that a child on the autistic spectrum experiences the world in
a completely different way than you, you will be open to understand how that
 perspective
    is even more amazing than yours."
    To realize the value of nine  months:
    Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
"Don't piss off old people The older we get, the less 'Life in Prison' is a deterrent.”


Bick

#14
November 03, 2013, 05:58:13 PM
Joel, after an invasive procedure like that, the best thing for you is Jell-O. Lots of it.



[shot]
It's all in the grind, Sizemore. Can't be too fine, can't be too coarse. This, my friend, is a science. I mean you're looking at the guy that believed all the commercials. You know, about the "be all you can be." I made coffee through Desert Storm. I made coffee through Panama while everyone else got to fight, got to be a Ranger.

* A man can never have too much whiskey, too many books, or too much ammunition *
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