Corrupt a wish

lethe · July 05, 2008, 09:10:06 AM

Quote from: me on July 05, 2008, 08:56:44 AM
They do. I can see them changing color while they sit in a jar on my desk.

I wish ducatizzzz's sister in law was here.

She is but you find out that his and your tastes are quite different as her 400 lb bloatedness bends over in front of you to show you "the goods".

I wish I could teach the dogs to do the yardwork.

Drunken Monkey · July 05, 2008, 09:57:11 AM

Quote from: lethe on July 05, 2008, 09:10:06 AM
I wish I could teach the dogs to do the yardwork.

Granted. Except in making the necessary cognitive leap to do yard work, they become intelligent, realize they are nothing more then slaves to you and rise up against you. It's like planet of the apes, only with dogs.

I wish I had a decent track bike, and more time to use it.

krolik · July 05, 2008, 11:18:58 AM

Granted, you now have a decent track bike and more time to use it, but due to fuel use and noise concerns all tracks are shut down.

I wish I had a 1913 Liberty Head nickel.

Buckethead · July 05, 2008, 11:26:48 AM

Quote from: krolik on July 05, 2008, 11:18:58 AM
I wish I had a 1913 Liberty Head nickel.

You have one. Its super glued to the sidewalk in front of your house and you pass in every day on the way to the mailbox.

I wish I wasn't balding.

Porsche Monkey · July 05, 2008, 12:26:05 PM

Granted. You are no longer balding. You have more hair than Chewbacca and have developed a bad case of fleas.

I wish my new wife wasn't so horny. I'm too tired to ride.

ducatiz · July 05, 2008, 02:52:06 PM

Quote from: me on July 05, 2008, 08:56:44 AM
They do. I can see them changing color while they sit in a jar on my desk.

I wish ducatizzzz's sister in law was here.

Quote from: lethe on July 05, 2008, 09:10:06 AM
She is but you find out that his and your tastes are quite different as her 400 lb bloatedness bends over in front of you to show you "the goods".

wrong! 105lbs..

for the record, wife is about the same.... so is the oldest sister.

BWClark · July 05, 2008, 05:28:42 PM

Quote from: porschaholic on July 05, 2008, 12:26:05 PM
Granted. You are no longer balding. You have more hair than Chewbacca and have developed a bad case of fleas.

I wish my new wife wasn't so horny. I'm too tired to ride.

Uh...ok...granted... You get what you wish for.

I wish I pooped chocolate.

Porsche Monkey · July 05, 2008, 05:32:51 PM

Granted. You can't stop pooping chocolate. Occasionally you poop chocolate milk and last night you pooped out the nesquick bunny.

I wish I had another wish.

NAKID · July 05, 2008, 05:50:05 PM

You have another wish, but that one is corrupted worse than any of the others.

I wish I was done moving...

lethe · July 05, 2008, 06:01:31 PM

Quote from: NAKID on July 05, 2008, 05:50:05 PM
You have another wish, but that one is corrupted worse than any of the others.

I wish I was done moving...

You're completely paralyzed but at least you end up living to a ripe old age of 103.

I wish the woman in the painting across the room from me came to life.

Porsche Monkey · July 05, 2008, 06:13:09 PM

Granted. She does come to life. She has all the worst attributes of Amy Winehouse.

I wish I didn't have to get up to pour another glass of Jose Quervo platinum family reserve.

Johnny OrganDonor · July 05, 2008, 06:25:53 PM

Quote from: porschaholic on July 05, 2008, 06:13:09 PM
Granted. She does come to life. She has all the worst attributes of Amy Winehouse.

I wish I didn't have to get up to pour another glass of Jose Quervo platinum family reserve.

You are now paralyzed from the waist down and the bottle of tequila is just out of reach.

I wish for nothing in order to achieve true Zen enlightenment.

NAKID · July 05, 2008, 06:34:06 PM

Quote from: Johnny OrganDonor on July 05, 2008, 06:25:53 PM
You are now paralyzed from the waist down and the bottle of tequila is just out of reach.

I wish for nothing in order to achieve true Zen enlightenment.

Your wish is granted, you are now in "nothingness". You see nothing, hear nothing etc....

I wish my lawsuit was over and ended with me victorious with a large cash settlement...

Porsche Monkey · July 05, 2008, 07:16:01 PM

You win your lawsuit and get a small fortune in the settlement. Unfortunatly lawyer fees eat up most of the winnings. You lose the rest in Vegas on a cheap hooker named bambi.

Porsche Monkey · July 05, 2008, 07:17:37 PM

Oh and I wish I had that drink now.

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Corrupt a wish