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F*** My Life

Started by Dragsterhund, February 05, 2009, 02:33:20 PM

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Monsterlover

#15
February 05, 2009, 06:16:05 PM
It just doesn't stop [laugh]
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Mojo S2R

#16
February 05, 2009, 06:44:38 PM
Funny shit!  Definately bookmarked.  Thanks for the link  [thumbsup]

Monsterlover

#17
February 05, 2009, 06:56:12 PM
OMG  :-X  :-X

"Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML"
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Monsterlover

#18
February 05, 2009, 07:07:37 PM
Another gem.

Someone stop me. . .

"Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML"
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Dragsterhund

#19
February 05, 2009, 07:25:27 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on February 05, 2009, 07:07:37 PM
Another gem.

Someone stop me. . .

"Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML"

HA!!!
2003 Ducati Monster 800S i.e.
1999 Ducati 748S Track Bike
2011 Ducati 848 Track Bike (Ex Jake Holden AMA DSB bike)
1967 Ducati Monza 250
2008 Yamaha TTR 125

1973 Honda CB450 (Sold)
1972 Honda CB450 (Sold)
2002 Suzuki SV650 Track Bike (SOLD!)
1994 Kawasaki EX500 (SOLD!)

Monsterlover

#20
February 05, 2009, 07:26:02 PM
Today, my two year old girl said "mothermake the beast with two backser". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Monsterlover

#21
February 05, 2009, 07:27:07 PM
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Monsterlover

#22
February 05, 2009, 07:40:48 PM
Today, thinking that I’m alone at work, I start rummaging through my nose trying to find something interesting. It’s only after about a minute that I notice that my boss is looking straight at me. FML
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

Dragsterhund

#23
February 05, 2009, 07:45:58 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on February 05, 2009, 07:40:48 PM
I start rummaging through my nose trying to find something interesting

Best. Description. Ever.
2003 Ducati Monster 800S i.e.
1999 Ducati 748S Track Bike
2011 Ducati 848 Track Bike (Ex Jake Holden AMA DSB bike)
1967 Ducati Monza 250
2008 Yamaha TTR 125

1973 Honda CB450 (Sold)
1972 Honda CB450 (Sold)
2002 Suzuki SV650 Track Bike (SOLD!)
1994 Kawasaki EX500 (SOLD!)

Monsterlover

#24
February 05, 2009, 07:50:00 PM
Phew, just got through all 69 pages ;D

I read them all [laugh]
"The Vincent was like a bullet that went straight; the Ducati is like the magic bullet in Dallas that went sideways and hit JFK and the Governor of Texas at the same time."--HST    **"A man who works with his hands is a laborer.  A man who works with his hands and his brain is a craftsman.  A man who works with his hands, brains, and heart is an artist."  -Louis Nizer**

mitt

#25
February 05, 2009, 08:00:59 PM
Quote from: Monsterlover on February 05, 2009, 07:50:00 PM
Phew, just got through all 69 pages ;D

I read them all [laugh]

don't you have a car to get running?

;D

mitt

erkishhorde

#26
February 05, 2009, 08:02:01 PM
None of you liked this one?

QuoteToday, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML

A lot of them sound made up.  [roll]
ErkZ NOT in SLO w/ his '95 m900!
The end is in sight! Gotta buckle down and get to work!

Popeye the Sailor

#27
February 05, 2009, 08:05:27 PM
Quote from: erkishhorde on February 05, 2009, 08:02:01 PM
None of you liked this one?

A lot of them sound made up.  [roll]

I thought that one was Timmy Tucker.



No wait-he fired his dad. Or something.
If the state had not cut funding for the mental institutions, this project could never have happened.

erkishhorde

#28
February 05, 2009, 08:06:32 PM
QuoteToday, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML
#7876 (6) - 02/04/2009 at 11:44pm by Harejordan - health - I agree, your life is f***ed (963) - you deserved that one (2111)

wtf? How come this one receieved so many "you deserved that one"s?
ErkZ NOT in SLO w/ his '95 m900!
The end is in sight! Gotta buckle down and get to work!

Popeye the Sailor

#29
February 05, 2009, 09:26:02 PM
This guy had it worst of all.

"Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML"
If the state had not cut funding for the mental institutions, this project could never have happened.
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