I stole this from the 675 board. Seems fun.
"The purpose is to make a wish, but have the next poster grant it, but corrupt it (eg. poster1: I wish my feet had jet engines in them, poster2: granted, but you can't turn them off). He in turn can make a new wish."
Ill start.
I wish I had a Hypermotard.
Your hyper is too tall for you. I wish I had your hyper.
You have his Hypermotard a total of 2 days, before you total it. (Luckily you're unhurt.)
I wish I could regenerate injuries, like Wolverine.
But at for the purpose so that you can be continually tortured. I wish i never played this game
Quote from: OwnyTony on June 28, 2008, 05:36:00 PM
But at for the purpose so that you can be continually tortured. I wish i never played this game
You didn't, but not knowing this you've now played it again.
I wish I had a monkey and a magic carpet.
The Monkey took a Dump on the Carpet, and now your being rolled up in the Carpet and thrown off a bridge.
I wish I had a Desmosidici.
you get you Desmosidici, but there is no gas left anywhere on earth.
I wish I lived back in North Carolina.
You do live back in North Carolina, but you're chained to the Tree of Shame.
I wish my grass would stop growing.
Your grass will stop growing, it's under 3 feet of snow that will never thaw and riding is out of the question.
I still wish I was in North Carolina. BTW, I've been tied to the Tree of Shame, and there are still pieces of my bike there ;)
You are in North Carolina but due to a time warp it is 1863 and the middle of the Civil War and you've been shot by a Yankee and died
I wish there was peace in the world
my answer was too political so I erased it-sorry! [drink]
Quote from: DoubleEagle on June 28, 2008, 08:09:40 PM
I wish there was peace in the world
There is peace on earth just because theres no laws to be enforced and nothing to base a declaration of war on so all children are given guns and machetes in the first grade to stay safe because theres no laws.
Huuugh? ;D
Quote from: DoubleEagle on June 28, 2008, 08:09:40 PM
You are in North Carolina but due to a time warp it is 1863 and the middle of the Civil War and you've been shot by a Yankee and died
I wish there was peace in the world
So. . .to get back on track-
There is peace in the world except everyone but you is in a coma.
I wish I could fly
Quote from: Monsterlover on June 29, 2008, 05:05:02 AM
So. . .to get back on track-
There is peace in the world except everyone but you is in a coma.
I wish I could fly
You can fly but only at a rate of a half a mile an hour. Children love to throw things at you.
I wish I could vaporize cars with just a look in their direction.
You can vaporize cars with a look, but they all rematerialize inside your house.
I wish the evil monkey in my closet would go away
The evil monkey just wrecked your bike.
I wish the midgets would stop chasing me.
Quote from: porschaholic on June 29, 2008, 06:41:32 AM
The evil monkey just wrecked your bike.
I wish the midgets would stop chasing me.
the midgets have stopped chasing you due to you being captured. now they are just torturing you.
i wish i were a real boy.
Quote from: KnightofNi on June 29, 2008, 07:11:49 AM
the midgets have stopped chasing you due to you being captured. now they are just torturing you.
i wish i were a real boy.
Not realizing it, you have been a real boy all along but the lack of you not knowing all these years has confused you into thinking your a girl and therefor get sexual reassignment surgery.
I wish that i could time travel back and forth.
Quote from: KnightofNi on June 29, 2008, 07:11:49 AM
the midgets have stopped chasing you due to you being captured. now they are just torturing you.
i wish i were a real boy.
you are able to travel in time, but you get stuck in the future, don't know anyone, and they all think you dress funny
i wish i had a traveltransporter (machine you hop into and it transports you to another location in a nanosecond)
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on June 29, 2008, 07:52:21 AM
i wish i had a traveltransporter (machine you hop into and it transports you to another location in a nanosecond)
You have a traveltransporter, it works but you arrive nakid and bald. (Don't even think about using it with a fly in it with you. :P )
I wish I had the secret recipe for Coca-Cola.
Quote from: krolik on June 29, 2008, 07:58:45 AM
You have a traveltransporter, it works but you arrive nakid and bald. (Don't even think about using it with a fly in it with you. :P )
I wish I had the secret recipe for Coca-Cola.
Now that you have the secret recipe, you dry heave every time you think about the fact the main ingredient is bile.
I wish I had the power of cheese.
The power of cheese takes over you, and you are no longer able to poo.
I wish my cat would stop attacking me
Your cat stops attacking you, but only because it's subcontracting the work out to the neighborhood pit bull.
I wish I lived on the moon.
Quote from: x136 on June 29, 2008, 10:40:04 AM
Your cat stops attacking you, but only because it's subcontracting the work out to the neighborhood pit bull.
I wish I lived on the moon.
You do...for about a second. You almost immediately expire because you forgot to include provisions in your wish for continuing to live upon arrival.
I wish aliens would descend, look upon our sad selves and wipe us all out.
Quote from: lethe on June 29, 2008, 10:51:18 AM
You do...for about a second. You almost immediately expire because you forgot to include provisions in your wish for continuing to live upon arrival.
I wish aliens would descend, look upon our sad selves and wipe us all out.
and they do
except me
and now I get to live happily ever after
:P
You live happily ever after, but "ever after" is defined as three hours, because that's how long it takes for the sun to go supernova and cook the hell out of the inner half of the solar system.
I wish this wish had no downsides or caveats.
Quote from: x136 on June 29, 2008, 11:06:31 AM
You live happily ever after, but "ever after" is defined as three hours, because that's how long it takes for the sun to go supernova and cook the hell out of the inner half of the solar system.
I wish this wish had no downsides or caveats.
Your wish comes true because you actually wished for nothing, in order to continue to play this game, someone comes to kick you in the balls.
I wish i was the one to kick you in the balls(for the sake of the game)
Quote from: OwnyTony on June 29, 2008, 11:58:20 AM
Your wish comes true because you actually wished for nothing, in order to continue to play this game, someone comes to kick you in the balls.
I wish i was the one to kick you in the balls(for the sake of the game)
Your foot imbeds itself in his balls and the two of you live forever now as a freakish siamese twin combo.
I wish for Mother's mountain to spew ash and fire.
Quote from: lethe on June 29, 2008, 12:02:16 PM
I wish for Mother's mountain to spew ash and fire.
But the ash and fire ends up landing far from the mountain (mostly on you, in fact)
I wish for more wishes.
You are given two more wishes, but the wishes can only be used to make warts appear on your own face.
I wish I had the power to make warts appear on the faces of others!
Granted, but each time you wish this you give up one of your five senses.
I wish I could make it stop raining at will
Quote from: Monsterlover on June 29, 2008, 03:06:46 PM
Granted, but each time you wish this you give up one of your five senses.
I wish I could make it stop raining at will
You can
but every time you make it stop raining you begin to urinate uncontrollably
I wish that I was invisible
Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 03:08:39 PM
You can
but every time you make it stop raining you begin to urinate uncontrollably
I wish that I was invisible
But your odor becomes so bad you can see it.
I wish for huge pectoral muscles.
[laugh] [laugh]
You get huge pectoral muscles, but the resulting stretch marks fill you will shame so you become a top-heavy hermit.
I wish I was the drummer for Aerosmith. (What could possibly go wrong?)
Quote from: ODrides on June 29, 2008, 04:30:04 PM
I wish I was the drummer for Aerosmith. (What could possibly go wrong?)
granted, but steven tyler goes off the wagon and spikes his drink that you mistake as your own and you od
i wish i win the next 100 mil+ powerball
you win.... but the giant powerball become disslodged and falls.... crushing your sister and her poodle.
I wish a had and endless supply of gummi bears
Granted! But during the hottest summer on record it comes with an endless supply of ants. OR... Congratulations on the diabetic coma!
I wish to reconnect with my high school sweetheart. (aaaaww)
When you reconnect with her, she cheats on you with the then football captain. I wish I could surf 4 days a week.
Quote from: desmopr on June 29, 2008, 05:57:39 PM
When you reconnect with her, she cheats on you with the then football captain. I wish I could surf 4 days a week.
you can surf 4 days a week
in lava
I wish lethe was never born
Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 08:10:38 PM
I wish lethe was never born
Lethe is magically transmogrified into an android, so technically he was "made" not born. He is identical in all respects, except now he no longer needs sleep and can annoy you 24/7. Also, he's is programmed to kill you.
I wish I could jump back to any point in my life and relive it. Then jump back to the present like nothing had ever happened.
Granted, but you have no control over what point of your life you return to or for how long. You end up living your life in completely random order.
I wish I could submit this as an entirely original idea for a television show, and live off the royalties.
Quote from: x136 on June 29, 2008, 08:27:27 PM
Granted, but you have no control over what point of your life you return to or for how long. You end up living your life in completely random order.
I wish I could submit this as an entirely original idea for a television show, and live off the royalties.
and you do
during such time, you develop a coke habit and fetish for the infirm as sexual partners
I wish i was a dog
Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 08:30:22 PM
I wish i was a dog
You are Chihuahua named Pedro. You have a nasty skin disease and are completely blind.
Also, you are fixed.
I wish my kids could get a great, free education.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on June 29, 2008, 08:37:12 PM
You are Chihuahua named Pedro. You have a nasty skin disease and are completely blind.
Also, you are fixed.
I wish my kids could get a great, free education.
and they do
in the process they create a utopian world
created with the understanding that care for the elderly is an expense that cannot be supported
as a result on your retirement day you are fed to the furnaces
I wish I was a dog that wasn't blind with a skin condition
and I have my balls
Granted. But your master kicks you in the balls for pissing on the carpet.
I wish to lead a happy life without debt and a harem of virgins that get replaced every day.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 09:32:27 PM
Granted. But your master kicks you in the balls for pissing on the carpet.
I wish to lead a happy life without debt and a harem of virgins that get replaced every day.
Granted
Your harem of virgin bull elephants is replenished everyday
I wish my master wouldn't kick me in the balls
Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 09:42:03 PM
Granted
Your harem of virgin bull elephants is replenished everyday
I wish my master wouldn't kick me in the balls
Granted, but your master is the guy who coined the term "screwed the pooch".
I wish I was perfect.
Quote from: silentbob on June 29, 2008, 09:53:01 PM
Granted, but your master is the guy who coined the term "screwed the pooch".
I wish I was perfect.
Granted. But you are perfectly ugly.
I wish I could talk to animals and tell them what to do.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 09:55:37 PM
Granted. But you are perfectly ugly.
I wish I could talk to animals and tell them what to do.
You can, your are a modern day Dr Doolittle
however
with your new found powers you become irresistable to all woman across the planet
and yet have zero desire to mate with humans
I wisha I wans an attractive dog that isn't abused
Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 10:01:34 PM
I wisha I wans an attractive dog that isn't abused
Granted but you have an insatiable liking for your own feces.
I wish I was a porn star.
Quote from: silentbob on June 29, 2008, 10:04:01 PM
Granted but you have an insatiable liking for your own feces.
I wish I was a porn star.
You are
your career in Necrophilia is a success
I wish I didn't like feces
Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 10:09:18 PM
You are
your career in Necrophilia is a success
I wish I didn't like feces
Granted.
You don't like faeces so much you stop crapping and explode.
I wish I didn't have sex with animals.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 10:14:23 PM
Granted.
You don't like faeces so much you stop crapping and explode.
I wish I didn't have sex with animals.
Granted. You now only have sex with large vegetables.
I wish I was Batman.
Granted.
But you are 99% Bat, 1% Man.
I wish I didn't have sex with large or small or any vegetables.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 10:19:53 PM
Granted.
But you are 99% Bat, 1% Man.
I wish I didn't have sex with large or small or any vegetables.
granted your sex drive is elliminated all together
i wish we didn't spend so much money on movies and TV shows that suck
Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 10:22:50 PM
granted your sex drive is elliminated all together
i wish we didn't spend so much money on movies and TV shows that suck
Granted. They are now free and it shows. You play Erkel's wife on a new hit series.
I wish all women were easy.
Quote from: silentbob on June 29, 2008, 10:26:03 PM
Granted. They are now free and it shows. You play Erkel's wife on a new hit series.
I wish all women were easy.
Granted.
All women are easy but your old fella has fallen off.
I wish I could read people's minds only when I wanted to.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 10:29:33 PM
Granted.
All women are easy but your old fella has fallen off.
I wish I could read people's minds only when I wanted to.
granted
however you find you never want to
i wish fish didn't taste like fish
Quote from: Mother on June 29, 2008, 10:31:45 PM
granted
however you find you never want to
i wish fish didn't taste like fish
Granted but all your women do.
I wish I could ride like Bayliss.
Quote from: silentbob on June 29, 2008, 10:36:31 PM
Granted but all your women do.
I wish I could ride like Bayliss.
Granted.
You ride like Bayliss's mum, Mrs Bayliss.
I wish I could pick the winning lottery numbers every week.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 29, 2008, 10:37:35 PM
Granted.
You ride like Bayliss's mum, Mrs Bayliss.
I wish I could pick the winning lottery numbers every week.
Granted.
Your skills do not go unnoticed, & you are kidnapped by the Mob. A mob doctor removes your arms & legs, and you are kept in a box in an underground lair: you are required to provide winning numbers each and every week.... or else!
I wish for immortality!
Quote from: roy-nexus-6 on June 30, 2008, 12:03:27 AM
Granted.
Your skills do not go unnoticed, & you are kidnapped by the Mob. A mob doctor removes your arms & legs, and you are kept in a box in an underground lair: you are required to provide winning numbers each and every week.... or else!
I wish for immortality!
Granted.
But you live an existence of blended steak and beans and need a 75 year old matron to wipe your butt when you go poo-poo.
I wish I could summon a legion of dragons and wipe out all the scum that prey on people.
Quote from: roy-nexus-6 on June 30, 2008, 12:03:27 AM
Granted.
Your skills do not go unnoticed, & you are kidnapped by the Mob. A mob doctor removes your arms & legs, and you are kept in a box in an underground lair: you are required to provide winning numbers each and every week.... or else!
I wish for immortality!
your wish is granted
you wake up one morning surprisingly refreshed without the standard feeling of empending doom that the rest of us mortals carries around inside each and every day
However
during your walk to the local coffe shop for a latte
you witness the sun going supernova and the world is incenerated
leaving you alive and adrift in deep space for eternity
Have a nice...forever
I wish that I understood women
Quote from: Mother on June 30, 2008, 12:50:25 AM
I wish that I understood women
Your head explodes.
I wish I could start, stop or reverse the aging process in my body at will.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on June 30, 2008, 12:53:24 AM
Your head explodes.
I wish I could start, stop or reverse the aging process in my body at will.
granted
however to decrease the age of one part it increases the age of another
and vice versa
I wish that I was able to understand women...seriously
Quote from: Mother on June 30, 2008, 01:00:27 AM
granted
however to decrease the age of one part it increases the age of another
and vice versa
I wish that I was able to understand women...seriously
You only understand serious women and die from boredom.
I wish I could buy the house next door to all of you and become the bad neighbor that drives down all of your property values.
Quote from: lethe on June 30, 2008, 01:09:28 AM
You only understand serious women and die from boredom.
I wish I could buy the house next door to all of you and become the bad neighbor that drives down all of your property values.
Granted
you die of lead poisoning the next week
I wish I was lethe
Granted.
You die from lead poisoning.
I wish I was Iz. maybe.
granted
but everytime you ride your moto, you get a flat tire...
i wish i didn't have to work
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on June 30, 2008, 03:32:45 AM
granted
but everytime you ride your moto, you get a flat tire...
i wish i didn't have to work
Granted.
But you turn into a sloth and have to be lifted from your bed with a forklift.
I wish I invented a renewable energy resource that cannot be reproduced except by me.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 30, 2008, 03:37:21 AM
Granted.
But you turn into a sloth and have to be lifted from your bed with a forklift.
I wish I invented a renewable energy resource that cannot be reproduced except by me.
granted
you have become a giant waste eating bug that shits oil
I wish that each of the middle eastern countries was lead by one of the Backstreetboys and Nsync
Quote from: Mother on June 30, 2008, 03:43:35 AM
granted
you have become a giant waste eating bug that shits oil
I wish that each of the middle eastern countries was lead by one of the Backstreetboys and Nsync
Granted, except you're claimed as a citizen of both and are repeatedly drafted and jailed by each for refusing to serve. Each time is like a scene from the prison in Midnight Express.
I wish I could make any politician's mouth spontaneously fill with poop while they are talking.
Granted, but you must put the poop there with your own ungloved hand.
I wish I invented a gun that shoots rabid weasels at criminals
Quote from: Monsterlover on June 30, 2008, 05:29:33 AM
Granted, but you must put the poop there with your own ungloved hand.
I wish I invented a gun that shoots rabid weasels at criminals
Granted.
But it backfires every now and then. :D
I wish I invented a tablet that you'd only need to take ONCE for your body fat to drop down to 5% - for life.
Quote from: roy-nexus-6 on June 30, 2008, 05:57:12 AM
Granted.
But it backfires every now and then. :D
I wish I invented a tablet that you'd only need to take ONCE for your body fat to drop down to 5% - for life.
which you do
and all the women an the planet take it
resulting in infertility and the death of the planet in a generation
I wish i had invented bricks
Quote from: Mother on June 30, 2008, 06:07:16 AM
which you do
and all the women an the planet take it
resulting in infertility and the death of the planet in a generation
I wish i had invented bricks
poof.... you did, but they are bricks made of pot, and everytime a house burns down, twinkie sales go up, and you are sued by fat firemen.
I wish for happy trees
Quote from: bobspapa on June 30, 2008, 07:39:56 AM
poof.... you did, but they are bricks made of pot, and everytime a house burns down, twinkie sales go up, and you are sued by fat firemen.
I wish for happy trees
Granted, but you are the one who is required to orally service all of them.
I wish I had a real wish granted.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on June 30, 2008, 08:10:03 AM
I wish I had a real wish granted.
Done. Unfortunately you said "had", in past tense. So remember when you were 12 and wished that your ass would stop itching? That was the wish that got granted.
I wish I could have more free time.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on June 30, 2008, 08:36:01 AM
Done. Unfortunately you said "had", in past tense. So remember when you were 12 and wished that your ass would stop itching? That was the wish that got granted.
I wish I could have more free time.
granted..... welcome to gitmo.... all the free time a man could ever want
I wish The sex pistols were still around.
Quote from: bobspapa on June 30, 2008, 08:45:58 AM
I wish The sex pistols were still around.
granted, but they started to suck after a few years and are now an embarassment and you want them to stop.
i wish i didnt have to pay income tax.
Quote from: oldschoollion on June 30, 2008, 09:08:17 AM
granted, but they started to suck after a few years and are now an embarassment and you want them to stop.
i wish i didnt have to pay income tax.
granted.... poof, you are Richard Hatch.
I wish I had a huge pianist.
Quote from: bobspapa on June 30, 2008, 09:10:04 AM
granted.... poof, you are Richard Hatch.
I wish I had a huge pianist.
Granted, you have your huge pianist but no longer can ride a Ducati because it is so huge. You have to resort to riding a harley.
I wish I could vaporize womens clothes
Granted.... but it only works at NOW conventions.
I wish I May I wish I might
Quote from: bobspapa on June 30, 2008, 07:39:56 AM
poof.... you did, but they are bricks made of pot, and everytime a house burns down, twinkie sales go up, and you are sued by fat firemen.
OMFG! That put me over the edge. Funny shit, bp! </off topic>
Quote from: bobspapa on June 30, 2008, 10:14:07 AM
I wish I May I wish I might
you have the wish you wish tonight. But then you are beaten to death by the punctuation police.
I wish they'd just hurry up and fire my boss.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on June 30, 2008, 01:28:36 PM
you have the wish you wish tonight. But then you are beaten to death by the punctuation police.
I wish they'd just hurry up and fire my boss.
Your boss is fired, along with you, after what will be remembered simply as "The Spatula Incident."
I wish it the daily high in Tucson would be 80 for the rest of the summer, but we'd still get monsoons.
Granted, the temp is now 80. . . . . . . . . . . Celsius.
You are decidedly uncomfortable. It's like Silent Hill.
I wish my dog could solve Quantum Physics equations.
Quote from: Monsterlover on June 30, 2008, 02:23:13 PM
Granted, the temp is now 80. . . . . . . . . . . Celsius.
You are decidedly uncomfortable. It's like Silent Hill.
I wish my dog could solve Quantum Physics equations.
he now can.... but he now makes you his pregnant dog, and smacks you with a rolled up magazine, for humping his leg.
I wish I could swim faster than aquaman
Quote from: bobspapa on June 30, 2008, 02:24:52 PM
he now can.... but he now makes you his pregnant dog, and smacks you with a rolled up magazine, for humping his leg.
I wish I could swim faster than aquaman
you can
unfortunately the resulting genetic mutation required for that turns your happy staff into a fish tail
I wish there was a light at the end of the tunnel
Quote from: Mother on June 30, 2008, 03:40:47 PM
you can
unfortunately the resulting genetic mutation required for that turns your happy staff into a fish tail
I wish there was a light at the end of the tunnel
there is.... thats a va jay jay you've been looking into, not a tunnel
I wish for peace in Oklahoma
Quote from: bobspapa on June 30, 2008, 03:42:27 PM
there is.... thats a va jay jay you've been looking into, not a tunnel
I wish for peace in Oklahoma
There is but now you have to live there and there are no roads with any curves.
I wish I had an Easter Egg.
Quote from: silentbob on June 30, 2008, 03:47:52 PM
There is but now you have to live there and there are no roads with any curves.
I wish I had an Easter Egg.
You have your Easter Egg but that little bastard Baby Finster keeps hitting you asking for it.
I wish Bobspapa lived in Mother's belly and gave him gas.
Quote from: lethe on June 30, 2008, 03:53:29 PM
You have your Easter Egg but that little bastard Baby Finster keeps hitting you asking for it.
I wish Bobspapa lived in Mother's belly and gave him gas.
He does but you are Mother's colostamy bag.
I wish little blue men didn't beat me with fish.
Quote from: silentbob on June 30, 2008, 03:56:18 PM
He does but you are Mother's colostamy bag.
I wish little blue men didn't beat me with fish.
Now large blue men beat you with little blue men.
I wish for the love of a skunk.
Quote from: lethe on June 30, 2008, 04:00:27 PM
Now large blue men beat you with little blue men.
I wish for the love of a skunk.
The skunk loves you, but he doesn't respect you.
I wish for an unending keg of beer.
Quote from: krolik on June 30, 2008, 04:27:52 PM
The skunk loves you, but he doesn't respect you.
I wish for an unending keg of beer.
you get the kegger, and turn into a sloth and need a forklift to get you off the floor
i wish i could sail a boat
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on June 30, 2008, 04:30:32 PM
you get the kegger, and turn into a sloth and need a forklift to get you off the floor
i wish i could sail a boat
You can, but you live in the middle of the Sahara.
I wish for proof of extraterrestrial life.
Quote from: krolik on June 30, 2008, 04:48:42 PM
You can, but you live in the middle of the Sahara.
I wish for proof of extraterrestrial life.
You get proof, after they give you an anal probe.
I wish for a kingdom to rule with an iron fist.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 30, 2008, 04:52:46 PM
I wish for a kingdom to rule with an iron fist.
North Korea is all yours! Alas the iron fist is attached to Kim Jong Il.
I wish i could lose weight and gain muscle just by thinking.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 30, 2008, 04:52:46 PM
You get proof, after they give you an anal probe.
I wish for a kingdom to rule with an iron fist.
You rule for one week, and are deposed in a bloodless coup and sent into exile in New Jersey.
I wish for one night with Jessica Alba.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on June 30, 2008, 04:55:26 PM
I wish i could lose weight and gain muscle just by thinking.
Quote from: krolik on June 30, 2008, 04:55:55 PM
I wish for one night with Jessica Alba.
You double team Jessica crossing swords many a time and building massive muscles in the process, you lose interest in her and continue your workouts nightly.
Quote from: krolik on June 30, 2008, 04:55:55 PM
You rule for one week, and are deposed in a bloodless coup and sent into exile in New Jersey.
I wish for one night with Jessica Alba.
You have your one night with Jessica but she is actually in labor. You have to hold her hand while she calls you bad names and then punches you in the junk because men make women pregnant. (thats the clean version- I didnt want to offend anyone with fetus jokes).
I wish I could see the future.
Granted, however the mere act of knowing the future changes it unbeknownst to you. Everyone you tell things to realizes you're wrong. Then they think you're nuts. You are committed and take a liking to Juicy Fruit.
I wish I could turn invisible at will
Granted, but you realize you don't know anyone named Will, so your powers are useless.
I wish teleportation was cheap, effective, and safe.
Teleportation is now cheap, effective, and safe ... but the only available destination is your mother-in-law's house.
I wish I had a magically refilling flask that would refill with anything I ask for. Hmmm, a good 14 year single malt scotch, please. ;D
Quote from: Manny on June 30, 2008, 08:45:17 PM
I wish I had a magically refilling flask that would refill with anything I ask for. Hmmm, a good 14 year single malt scotch, please. ;D
Unfortunately, the flask cannot be opened.
I wish politicians weren't corrupt.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on June 30, 2008, 08:48:33 PM
Unfortunately, the flask cannot be opened.
I wish politicians weren't corrupt.
sorry, off topic, but
How would you empty the flask in order for it to need to be refilled? You should have said he needed a liver transplant.
Quote from: Jobu on June 30, 2008, 08:52:13 PM
sorry, off topic, but
How would you empty the flask in order for it to need to be refilled? You should have said he needed a liver transplant.
If it never can be emptied, it takes all the fun (and necessity) out of filling it again. And makes it useless. :'(
Back on topic: Politicians are no longer corrupt, but they have the mental dexterity of doorknobs. Oh, wait... :P
I wish i had a new updated computer.
You have a new updated computer.
But it runs on Windows Vista.
I wish I had a Monkey Army that I could control.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 30, 2008, 09:11:12 PM
You have a new updated computer.
But it runs on Windows Vista.
Ouch.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on June 30, 2008, 09:11:12 PMI wish I had a Monkey Army that I could control.
Your wish is granted, but unfortunately, the monkeys interpret all commands as "attack master!"
I wish days were longer.
Quote from: x136 on June 30, 2008, 10:29:12 PM
Ouch.
Your wish is granted, but unfortunately, the monkeys interpret all commands as "attack master!"
I wish days were longer.
Granted.
But you never sleep and the bags under your eyes get gravel rash when riding.
I wish that people weren't stupid.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on July 01, 2008, 01:12:32 AM
Granted.
But you never sleep and the bags under your eyes get gravel rash when riding.
I wish that people weren't stupid.
Granted, but now they are all Alec Baldwin.
I wish I could live on a desert island with all my wants and needs met forever and the only other living thing on the island is Sandy Duncan, permanently age 20 and I am permanently age 25 and have no health issues and the weather is perfect all the time and she cannot get pregnant and can swallow whole baguettes without choking and she has a on/off knob that is perfect and will never break.
Granted.
However, you can't get to her because she got buried in a rock slide. All there is between the two of you is conversation.
I wish I could digest concrete.
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 01, 2008, 05:28:55 AM
Granted.
However, you can't get to her because she got buried in a rock slide. All there is between the two of you is conversation.
not good enough, i said i wished for all i could want or need too - i wish for a backhoe to dig her out!
slacker!
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 01, 2008, 05:51:13 AM
not good enough, i said i wished for all i could want or need too - i wish for a backhoe to dig her out!
slacker!
granted.... but your backhoe skills suck, and you rip her good eye out, leaving her blind, which isnt all that bad, because you also tear up a buried gas line, blowing her, you, and half the island up. Your family is stuck with the clean up costs.
I wish I never had to make a poo again
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 07:16:06 AM
granted.... but your backhoe skills suck, and you rip her good eye out, leaving her blind, which isnt all that bad, because you also tear up a buried gas line, blowing her, you, and half the island up. Your family is stuck with the clean up costs.
I wish I never had to make a poo again
Granted, but your sex drive is also gone now.
I wish I had unlimited funds for toys
Quote from: big bear on July 01, 2008, 07:34:59 AM
Granted, but your sex drive is also gone now.
I wish I had unlimited funds for toys
Granted.... but you can only shop in the "anal" section of the Hollywood Hustler store.
I wish Toby Keith sang like Alvin, of Alvin and the Chipmunks
Quote from: big bear on July 01, 2008, 07:34:59 AM
Granted, but your sex drive is also gone now.
I wish I had unlimited funds for toys
due to a freak accident at KB toys involving a teddy bear and the board game chutes and ladders you are left paralyzed. Your family sues and the store is renamed Big Bear Toys. You have unlimited funds for toys, but it is spent on keeping you alive and trying to prop up the business which is failing since they have to spend most of the profit keeping you alive.
i wish my co-worker wasn't an idiot and could hold a semi-intelligent conversation.
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 07:38:31 AM
I wish Toby Keith sang like Alvin, of Alvin and the Chipmunks
Granted. Unfortunately his songs get stuck in your head, driving you permanently insane.
I wish I had a Klondike bar, right now.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 01, 2008, 08:49:16 AM
Granted. Unfortunately his songs get stuck in your head, driving you permanently insane.
I wish I had a Klondike bar, right now.
granted.... but the wish orders are transcribed into Inuit, and a lil something is lost in translation. You are transported to a gay bay called the Lone Dyke.
I wish I had a bowl of Capt'n Crunch right now.
you can, but you can only look at it.
i wish i could afford another ducati.
Quote from: toaster on July 01, 2008, 08:59:02 AM
you can, but you can only look at it.
i wish i could afford another ducati.
PING.. you can, but you can only buy a 350 GTL
i wish my kid's shit didn't smell so bad (he's 10 months old, diapers are HAZMAT)
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 01, 2008, 09:00:25 AM
PING.. you can, but you can only buy a 350 GTL
i wish my kid's shit didn't smell so bad (he's 10 months old, diapers are HAZMAT)
Poof..... it now smells like Gina Gershon. Now you have the paparazzi beating down your door everytime the baby shits.
I wish I was a monkey.
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 09:20:37 AM
Poof..... it now smells like Gina Gershon. Now you have the paparazzi beating down your door everytime the baby shits.
I wish I was a monkey.
Granted You are the only straight monkey in a pack of homosexual monkeys. You are also the smallest and slowest monkey but unfortunatly have the most desireable monkey arse.
I wish for invincibility
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 09:20:37 AM
Poof..... it now smells like Gina Gershon. Now you have the paparazzi beating down your door everytime the baby shits.
that's awesome! thankugawd!!
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 01, 2008, 10:08:53 AM
that's awesome! thankugawd!!
maybe...just maybe...Gina smells like ass and cat food [evil]
Quote from: porschaholic on July 01, 2008, 09:58:09 AM
Granted You are the only straight monkey in a pack of homosexual monkeys. You are also the smallest and slowest monkey but unfortunatly have the most desireable monkey arse.
I wish for invincibility
you're invicible. you're also a looney that looses his arms and legs and in order to continue fighting has to bite people's legs off at the knees.
i wish i had a better wish.
your wish for a better wish is granted. You now have the strength of Richard Simmons.
I wish I was bullet proof
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 10:15:10 AM
your wish for a better wish is granted. You now have the strength of Richard Simmons.
I wish I was bullet proof
awesome, i now have the strength to get fat housewives from middle america to love me.
you are bulletproof, but not waterproof. the added weight of the bulletproofing is too much for you to keep afloat and you drown.
i still wish my co-worker could hold a semi- intelligent conversation.
your co-worker is a brilliant conversationalist, who has the most profound things to say, but everytime you talk to him, just before he's about to blow your mind you are stricken with uncontrollable explosive diarrhea.
i wish i was the greatest songwriter that ever lived.
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 01, 2008, 10:17:59 AM
awesome, i now have the strength to get fat housewives from middle america to love me.
you are bulletproof, but not waterproof. the added weight of the bulletproofing is too much for you to keep afloat and you drown.
i still wish my co-worker could hold a semi- intelligent conversation.
ping! done, but now you are always wrong and he is always right!
i wish i could control traffic and make everyone who keeps changing lanes (and their cars) disappear and re-appear in some village of cannibals.
Quote from: A.B on July 01, 2008, 10:22:32 AM
your co-worker is a brilliant conversationalist, who has the most profound things to say, but everytime you talk to him, just before he's about to blow your mind you are stricken with uncontrollable explosive diarrhea.
i wish i was the greatest songwriter that ever lived.
the co-worker is a female. and i usually do have explosive diarreha once a week. (sorry, TMI? [laugh])
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 01, 2008, 10:24:35 AM
the co-worker is a female. and i usually do have explosive diarreha once a week. (sorry, TMI? [laugh])
TMI is right travis... you killed the game... [thumbsup]
way to go Travis >:(
[laugh]
(http://www.fotosearch.com/bthumb/LIF/LIF139/NU101002.jpg)
CLEAR!
I wish I was Luke Duke
Granted, but you are quickly replaced by your long lost cousins Coy and Vance.
I wish Hot Pockets grew on trees
you have a hot pocket tree in your backyard,
but it's warmth makes your grass grow at ten times the rate it used to.
i wish i could make all the sick people in the world better.
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 01, 2008, 12:42:18 PM
you have a hot pocket tree in your backyard,
but it's warmth makes your grass grow at ten times the rate it used to.
i wish i could make all the sick people in the world better.
it's done.... but, the powers that be, have decided that the sickness can only be cured with a spoon.
I wish the carrots in our garden did not mock me.
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 01:14:32 PM
it's done.... but, the powers that be, have decided that the sickness can only be cured with a spoon.
I wish the carrots in our garden did not mock me.
Granted, The carrots in your garden no longer mock you, but a gang of homosexual monkeys have decided to move in and eat all your carrots.
I wish I had more money to pay for mods
Quote from: porschaholic on July 01, 2008, 01:58:05 PM
Granted, The carrots in your garden no longer mock you, but a gang of homosexual monkeys have decided to move in and eat all your carrots.
I wish I had more money to pay for mods
Done, but you are only allowed to purchase mods such as breast implants, lip augmentation and butt enhancements -- for yourself.
I wish every idiot soccer mom yapping on a cel phone while driving would accidentally shove the phone up her nose and die.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 01, 2008, 02:03:29 PM
Done, but you are only allowed to purchase mods such as breast implants, lip augmentation and butt enhancements -- for yourself.
I wish every idiot soccer mom yapping on a cel phone while driving would accidentally shove the phone up her nose and die.
k... you get your wish, but get run over when they die...
i wish i had all of the answers, and they were all correct
* what is it with gay monkeys mess'n with me?
Poof.... what is, you are now Ken Jennings
I wish the alternative lifestyle monkeys would leave me be.
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 02:41:38 PM
* what is it with gay monkeys mess'n with me?
Poof.... what is, you are now Ken Jennings
I wish the alternative lifestyle monkeys would leave me be.
You have your wish. You are raped by angry armadillos and the monkeys no longer find you attractive.
I wish Joel would take my kittens.
granted....... but the ST and the ST's pink are part of the deal ;) (the kittys can ride in the saddle bags)
I wish animals would leave my anus alone (make that all my orafices)
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 02:49:52 PM
granted....... but the ST and the ST's pink are part of the deal ;) (the kittys can ride in the saddle bags)
I wish animals would leave my anus alone (make that all my orafices)
granted.. now that monkeys and armadillos have thoroughly abused your anus, an entire family of gay gorillas seeks oral pleasure from you -- and gets it.
i wish i had a ducati apollo.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 01, 2008, 03:05:27 PM
granted.. now that monkeys and armadillos have thoroughly abused your anus, an entire family of gay gorillas seeks oral pleasure from you -- and gets it.
i wish i had a ducati apollo.
Granted...but Gus Grissom lowsides the bike while delivering it.
I wish for a house made of swiss cheese
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 03:08:03 PM
Granted...but Gus Grissom lowsides the bike while delivering it.
I wish for a house made of swiss cheese
Granted, You get your house of cheese, but it is the nastiest, stinkiest, moldiest cheese ever and all your neighbors property values have plummeted. You can't park your bike in the garage because the kickstand sinks instantly.
I wish everyone would donate a dollar to me so I could afford a diamond wedding ring for my fiance. Lol
Quote from: porschaholic on July 01, 2008, 03:30:06 PM
Granted, You get your house of cheese, but it is the nastiest, stinkiest, moldiest cheese ever and all your neighbors property values have plummeted. You can't park your bike in the garage because the kickstand sinks instantly.
I wish everyone would donate a dollar to me so I could afford a diamond wedding ring for my fiance. Lol
granted..... but you have to marry Randall as part of the deal.
I wish I could eat bread.
Granted, All you can eat is bread. The only bread you can find though is moldy and stale.
I wish to be heterosexually gang raped by all the hottest Victoria's Secret models over and over.
Granted..... you soon discover that Victoria's Secrets secret is..... Ash is thier go-to model in these situations.
I wish I was home.
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 03:50:55 PM
Granted..... you soon discover that Victoria's Secrets secret is..... Ash is thier go-to model in these situations.
I wish I was home.
you are home. for 3 months. in the middle of the biggest baddest heat wave ever. temps of 130 are considered low. your air conditioning breaks and your house of cheese melts.
i wish i wasn't a 2 can sam when i don't eat.
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 01, 2008, 04:50:31 PM
you are home. for 3 months. in the middle of the biggest baddest heat wave ever. temps of 130 are considered low. your air conditioning breaks and your house of cheese melts.
i wish i wasn't a 2 can sam when i don't eat.
Instead you become Cap'n Crunch all strung out on Crunch Berries.
I wish I could help Travis destroy another bike.
Granted, except it's your bike that gets obliterated.
I wish I could shoot lightning out of my belly button
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 01, 2008, 07:21:50 PM
Granted, except it's your bike that gets obliterated.
I wish I could shoot lightning out of my belly button
you can.... but now the state of California has you listed as a "person of interest" in regards to a few forest fires started via lightning strikes.
I wish Kirby Puckett lived next door
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 08:20:59 PM
you can.... but now the state of California has you listed as a "person of interest" in regards to a few forest fires started via lightning strikes.
I wish Kirby Puckett lived next door
Granted, except that he passed away 2 years ago, so he must be a zombie now. A fun and gregarious one at that, but still a zombie.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/81/Puckroundingthebases91.jpg/180px-Puckroundingthebases91.jpg)
I wish I didn't have to cut the frame on my Multistrada and send the piece with the VIN on it to Italy (with a bunch of officious looking papers) to get a new frame so that I can ride my damn bike sometime this century. What a PITA. >:(
Ouch that one sucks.
Granted. You don't have to send your frame pieces to Italy because there is a massive shortage of steel and Ducati needs to use any available to build new bikes. They offer to buy back your old bike for less than half the price due to depreciation and the falling value of the US dollar.
I wish I could eat BP's house of cheese.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 01, 2008, 08:47:56 PM
Ouch that one sucks.
Granted. You don't have to send your frame pieces to Italy because there is a massive shortage of steel and Ducati needs to use any available to build new bikes. They offer to buy back your old bike for less than half the price due to depreciation and the falling value of the US dollar.
I wish I could eat BP's house of cheese.
Granted, but it's bp's fumunda cheese.
I wish I was done packing the house up for the move...
Quote from: NAKID on July 01, 2008, 08:51:41 PM
Granted, but it's bp's fumunda cheese.
I wish I was done packing the house up for the move...
Done! But your transfer is cancelled and you have to stay where you are.
I wish that I had a 620 that went 140 mph.
Quote from: krolik on July 01, 2008, 09:13:11 PM
I wish that I had a 620 that went 140 mph.
Granted. It goes well over 140 mph. While plummeting off a cliff with you on it.
I wish I had a magic wallet that always had $1000 in cash in it.
Granted, but due to hyperinflation, that thousand bucks will barely buy you a postage stamp or a stick of gum.
I wish I had a box of living diodes.
Quote from: x136 on July 01, 2008, 09:52:34 PM
Granted, but due to hyperinflation, that thousand bucks will barely buy you a postage stamp or a stick of gum.
I wish I had a box of living diodes.
oops.... another mix up at wish request central.... looks like yer getting "living dildos"
I wish I had a tuba
Quote from: bobspapa on July 01, 2008, 09:59:18 PM
oops.... another mix up at wish request central.... looks like yer getting "living dildos"
I wish I had a tuba
Granted, but you also get a rusty trombone.
I wish I was Bender.
Quote from: Super T.I.B on July 01, 2008, 10:04:55 PM
Granted, but you also get a rusty trombone.
I wish I was Bender.
Granted, but since there is a metal shortage, you are salvaged for scrap metal...
I wish I could afford to sell my house...
Quote from: NAKID on July 01, 2008, 10:08:15 PM
Granted, but since there is a metal shortage, you are salvaged for scrap metal...
I wish I could afford to sell my house...
You can and you make a fortune selling the nuclear sub that is your home. Unfortunately, the Navy takes issue with you selling their property and you spend the rest of your life in a jail cell with horny sailors.
I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener.
Quote from: silentbob on July 01, 2008, 10:29:32 PM
You can and you make a fortune selling the nuclear sub that is your home. Unfortunately, the Navy takes issue with you selling their property and you spend the rest of your life in a jail cell with horny sailors.
I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener.
You are bought and used for various activities by Amy Winehouse, hope you like fleas with your fish. [puke]
I wish I were still sleeping.
Quote from: lethe on July 02, 2008, 12:42:00 AM
You are bought and used for various activities by Amy Winehouse, hope you like fleas with your fish. [puke]
I wish I were still sleeping.
>poof< you are sleeping, but your livid dreams are exactly what you think you're doing now, awake.
I wish I lived in Switzerland in the 1830s-1840s
Granted. You live in Switzerland during the 1840s but have complete knowledge of the future you live in now and are accused of being a witch. The ensuing trials leave you burning at the stake.
I wish I was a juror in those trials.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 02, 2008, 05:23:31 AM
Granted. You live in Switzerland during the 1840s but have complete knowledge of the future you live in now and are accused of being a witch. The ensuing trials leave you burning at the stake.
I wish I was a juror in those trials.
Granted, but 10 years after the last witch burning the govermnent changes the laws and all juror`s in the witch hunt trials are now burned at the stake.
I wish I were Iron Man
Quote from: big bear on July 02, 2008, 06:10:07 AM
Granted, but 10 years after the last witch burning the govermnent changes the laws and all juror`s in the witch hunt trials are now burned at the stake.
I wish I were Iron Man
Granted. Unfortunately, fat chicks are now magnetic.
I wish I knew Dim Mak, "Touch of Death."
Quote from: big bear on July 02, 2008, 06:10:07 AM
Granted, but 10 years after the last witch burning the govermnent changes the laws and all juror`s in the witch hunt trials are now burned at the stake.
I wish I were Iron Man
So it shall be!! unfortunately due to your job in the factory that makes magnets for MRIs and CTs your power cell doens't work so well and you are found "sleeping" quite a bit. The shielding you put in place to combat this interferes with the magnet tests so you are fired. also, the bad guys figure out that your armor is ferrous and you are defeated by a huge electromagnet.
i wish i could make up words like don king and not look like an idiot.
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 02, 2008, 06:51:39 AM
So it shall be!! unfortunately due to your job in the factory that makes magnets for MRIs and CTs your power cell doens't work so well and you are found "sleeping" quite a bit. The shielding you put in place to combat this interferes with the magnet tests so you are fired. also, the bad guys figure out that your armor is ferrous and you are defeated by a huge electromagnet.
i wish i could make up words like don king and not look like an idiot.
You can but you still look like an idiot.
I wish Travis would learn how to play this game and stop granting wishes that have already been granted and I wish his explosive diarrhea would cause monkeys to fly out of his butt.
Travis is a regifter.
He has learned his lesson, but the monkeys that flew out of his ass, have grown to love the warmth of ass, and wander the planet looking for the warmest ass in the land. IZ_ass
I wish I could fast forward parts of the day
Quote from: bobspapa on July 02, 2008, 07:45:55 AM
Travis is a regifter.
He has learned his lesson, but the monkeys that flew out of his ass, have grown to love the warmth of ass, and wander the planet looking for the warmest ass in the land. IZ_ass
I wish I could fast forward parts of the day
bing, you can but only when you're having sex and it's always 60x speed so now your sex is 2 seconds instead of 2 minutes.
i wish i was a shapeshifter and could assume any look or identity i chose.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 02, 2008, 07:51:43 AM
bing, you can but only when you're having sex and it's always 50x speed.
i wish i was a shapeshifter and could assume any look or identity i chose.
zing za dam.... granted..... but you get stuck in Andrea Dworkin mode, while sneaking into a all womans gym.
I wish I was a more smarter person
Quote from: bobspapa on July 02, 2008, 07:55:24 AM
zing za dam.... granted..... but you get stuck in Andrea Dworkin mode, while sneaking into a all womans gym.
I wish I was a more smarter person
Done. The crayon has been removed from your brain and now everyone hates you because you are too smart.
I wish my wishes didn't backfire.
Quote from: silentbob on July 02, 2008, 07:58:28 AM
Done. The crayon has been removed from your brain and now everyone hates you because you are too smart.
I wish my wishes didn't backfire.
Granted..... they never did. That backfire noise you were hearing was Travis' explosive poo.
I wish my boss will be in a good mood for our meeting.
Quote from: bobspapa on July 02, 2008, 08:01:58 AM
Granted..... they never did. That backfire noise you were hearing was Travis' explosive poo.
I wish my boss will be in a good mood for our meeting.
Granted. He is in a good mood because he has finally come to terms with his feelings for you and monkeys. Your meeting will be painful.
I wish I was a monkey salesman in Joel's neighborhood.
thats no way to sell a cat [laugh]
Quote from: silentbob on July 02, 2008, 07:41:38 AM
You can but you still look like an idiot.
I wish Travis would learn how to play this game and stop granting wishes that have already been granted and I wish his explosive diarrhea would cause monkeys to fly out of his butt.
i just posted it. i didn't check to see if anyone else had posted before me. it's not my fault my wish granting is more creative and takes more time.
Quote from: silentbob on July 02, 2008, 08:05:51 AM
Granted. He is in a good mood because he has finally come to terms with his feelings for you and monkeys. Your meeting will be painful.
I wish I was a monkey salesman in Joel's neighborhood.
you are a door to door salesman. you happen to knock on the door of a militant PETA member who kicks your ass for trying to sell flying monkeys when they should be allowewd to roam free as nature intended. your explainations that it wasn't nature that created them fall on deaf ears. joel comes out and yells for the neighbors to keep the noise down since all his work to get LM in the mood for his fast forwarded 2 secsonds of sex has been nullified by your screaming.
i wish i could type faster.
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 02, 2008, 09:13:05 AM
i wish i could type faster.
your wish has been granted...
but the company you work for is so excited by your lighting fast digits,
that they force you to type everything for everyone at work.
i wish my coworker was a nice person
poof... your coworker in now nice, but they now smell like dog toes.
I wish I was in the pool right now, alive, cold beer in hand, and nothing bad could come of it.
Quote from: bobspapa on July 02, 2008, 10:10:57 AM
poof... your coworker in now nice, but they now smell like dog toes.
I wish I was in the pool right now, alive, cold beer in hand, and nothing bad could come of it.
Granted, unfortunately bad is subjective and your pool is filled with the melted cheese that was once your house and your cold beer will not open and can not be removed from your hand as it is so cold that it fused to your frostbite.
I wish there was a mix-up during my 15k service and they give me back a tri-colore (which works, isn't reported stolen, etc.) instead of my 695 (for just the regular maintainance bill) and I am physically able to ride the replacement bike.
Granted. You are in a pool with a cold endless supply of beer. Unfortunatly you have no forum access while in said pool.
I wish for BP's endless supply of beer and his pool.
granted. but BP only drinks Schlitz.
I wish i had the rest of the month off to ride my bike around the country
Quote from: DCXCV on July 02, 2008, 10:28:15 AM
Granted, unfortunately bad is subjective and your pool is filled with the melted cheese that was once your house and your cold beer will not open and can not be removed from your hand as it is so cold that it fused to your frostbite.
I wish there was a mix-up during my 15k service and they give me back a tri-colore (which works, isn't reported stolen, etc.) instead of my 695 (for just the regular maintainance bill) and I am physically able to ride the replacement bike.
Done...What was not realized was that the paperwork you signed off on gave you ownership of said Tri-Color...and subsequently is totaled as you as you park it out front of the shop and it is run over as the Duc Truck comes in for demo day. Unfortunately, insurance doesn't cover it because you haven't had time to switch it and your 695 is currently being ridden by a 450lb. man who is wearing a Harley jacket!
I wish that work was an option...with no effect monetarily.
Quote from: ducpenguin on July 02, 2008, 11:00:38 AM
Done...What was not realized was that the paperwork you signed off on gave you ownership of said Tri-Color...and subsequently is totaled as you as you park it out front of the shop and it is run over as the Duc Truck comes in for demo day. Unfortunately, insurance doesn't cover it because you haven't had time to switch it and your 695 is currently being ridden by a 450lb. man who is wearing a Harley jacket!
I wish that work was an option...with no effect monetarily.
>poof< but as a result, you get bored and watch soap operas and game shows all day, eat crap food and get fat as a house and become one of those obscenely obese people who have to be lifted by a forklift and surgically removed from the fibers of your sofa.
i wish i could directly control my metabolism -- fat/muscle ratio etc.
Granted. You can control your metabolism but you are like one of those little girls that think they are always fat so you have stopped eating all together and now hide in a cave. You have become Gollum from lord of the rings.
I wish for a life time supply of bacon.
A giant crate of tofu bacon appears on your doorstep.
I wish I had a dollar.
Damn nasty tofu bacon.
Granted. You have your dollar. Unfortunatly you get jumped by a gang of nasty whored out ex strippers looking for their next meth fix and they steal it.
I wish tofu was never invented.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 02, 2008, 03:58:56 PM
Damn nasty tofu bacon.
Granted. You have your dollar. Unfortunatly you get jumped by a gang of nasty whored out ex strippers looking for their next meth fix and they steal it.
I wish tofu was never invented.
It wasn't and in it's place fecesfu was invented as a low cost meat substitute may from pig shit.
I wish I had the tooth fairy trapped in a cage.
Quote from: lethe on July 02, 2008, 04:49:53 PM
I wish I had the tooth fairy trapped in a cage.
Granted. Except you're trapped in there with her and she's
pissed off.I wish I had good teeth, rather than the "british" ones I'm stuck with now.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 02, 2008, 05:44:08 PM
Granted. Except you're trapped in there with her and she's pissed off.
I wish I had good teeth, rather than the "british" ones I'm stuck with now.
;D angry fairies are sexy. [thumbsup]
You are given perfect teeth, but they are located in your ass along with your new tongue.
I wish I were a 1/4 my size so I could saddle up the dog and ride into the sunset.
Quote from: lethe on July 02, 2008, 05:47:50 PM
;D angry fairies are sexy. [thumbsup]
You are given perfect teeth, but they are located in your ass along with your new tongue.
I wish I were a 1/4 my size so I could saddle up the dog and ride into the sunset.
poof!! but now you are pursued relentlessly by Gidget the Midget..
I wish Frodo and Sam would finally express their true love.
Quote from: lethe on July 02, 2008, 05:47:50 PM
;D angry fairies are sexy. [thumbsup]
You are given perfect teeth, but they are located in your ass along with your new tongue.
I wish I were a 1/4 my size so I could saddle up the dog and ride into the sunset.
you are 1/4 of your size, however, you overestimated your true size and now must saddle up the ferret and ride it. the dog chases you both down and makes you into poo
i wish it wasn't so gay to drink the drinks i'm drinking tonight.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 02, 2008, 06:14:54 PM
poof!! but now you are pursued relentlessly by Gidget the Midget..
I wish Frodo and Sam would finally express their true love.
type slower assholes!!! [cheeky]
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 02, 2008, 06:16:00 PM
you are 1/4 of your size, however, you overestimated your true size and now must saddle up the ferret and ride it. the dog chases you both down and makes you into poo
i wish it wasn't so gay to drink the drinks i'm drinking tonight.
...
SHAZAM! the drinks you are drinking are perfectly normal. just like the act you are performing on that muscular, oily dude
i wish my SO didn't drink the last Bells Two Hearted Ale
Granted. Your SO didn't drink your last beer. Instead she gave it to her girlfriend.
I wish my fiance would hurry up and get her new boobies.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 02, 2008, 08:30:12 PM
Granted. Your SO didn't drink your last beer. Instead she gave it to her girlfriend.
...
and that's bad how? do i not get to watch? [laugh]
Quote from: porschaholic on July 02, 2008, 08:30:12 PM
Granted. Your SO didn't drink your last beer. Instead she gave it to her girlfriend.
This is her girlfriend:
(http://www.animateclay.com/videos/uglygirl.jpg)
Quote from: porschaholic on July 02, 2008, 08:30:12 PM
I wish my fiance would hurry up and get her new boobies.
She gets the blue footed kind. They promptly crap on everything and peck your eyes out.
I wish my every desire was granted.
Granted. Tragically, you're involved in a terrible accident which causes you to lose the ability to desire anything but bent, rusty forks.
I wish I had a collection of bent, rusty forks...
Poof! You have a collection of bent rusty forks..................in your ass!
I wish I was the King of the Mole-men!
You're the king of the Mole-men... in your ass! (So there.)
I wish that, instead of having bent, rusty forks in my own ass, every politician in the country had bent, rusty forks (and mole-men) in their asses.
Quote from: x136 on July 02, 2008, 10:08:03 PM
You're the king of the Mole-men... in your ass! (So there.)
I wish that, instead of having bent, rusty forks in my own ass, every politician in the country had bent, rusty forks (and mole-men) in their asses.
Granted (and satisfying to grant, I must say). But, sadly, this makes no difference in the way the country is run.
I wish that instead of 24 hours, the day was about 30 hours long.
Quote from: Manny on July 02, 2008, 11:04:16 PM
Granted (and satisfying to grant, I must say). But, sadly, this makes no difference in the way the country is run.
I wish that instead of 24 hours, the day was about 30 hours long.
Granted, but now your work day is 20 hours instead of 12.
I wish people would stop corrupting my wishes...
Quote from: NAKID on July 02, 2008, 11:12:15 PM
I wish people would stop corrupting my wishes...
Granted. Everyone on this thread but you is transformed into a god. So now the gods themselves are corrupting you wishes in stead of mere people.
I wish I could kick all my bad habits.
Granted.
But now the bad habits you had are gone, you pick up some bad habits that you previously didn't know about.
I wish I won Powerball tonight. ($20 shmillion)
Quote from: Super T.I.B on July 03, 2008, 12:49:05 AM
Granted.
But now the bad habits you had are gone, you pick up some bad habits that you previously didn't know about.
I wish I won Powerball tonight. ($20 shmillion)
you win the Powerball along with 20 shmillion others and you all get $1
i wish i could play acoustic guitar
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 03, 2008, 03:52:25 AM
i wish i could play acoustic guitar
Granted, and your complete repertoire of versions of Crazy Frog's songs sound exactly like the originals.
I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a six four Impala...
You get your impala, it is a convertible, you are taller that is why you are decapitated in that freak accident
I wish the poop didn't stick to my dogs butt when she goes to the bathroom
Quote from: MuscovyDuc on July 03, 2008, 06:57:45 AM
I wish the poop didn't stick to my dogs butt when she goes to the bathroom
Granted. The dog's poop now sticks to your butt when she goes to the bathroom.
I wish a was a little more self-confident...
You get all the confidence you need by doing an awesome job of cleaning the poop off my butt.
I wish that I had some [popcorn]
You get your popcorn. You have so much it fills your house and forces you to live outside. Popcorn fills you and your bikes every nook and cranny.
I wish there wasn't an hour and a half wait to get a haircut today.
Granted. There is no more wait for a hair cut because it's all fallen out overnight. You're bald, and the back of your head and neck look just like Telly telly Savalas'
I wish I could run my car on dog and cat "leftovers."
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 03, 2008, 08:14:10 AM
I wish I could run my car on dog and cat "leftovers."
Granted. Except you have to run them through
your digestive track first.
I wish VS would never buy another web site.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 03, 2008, 08:26:54 AM
Granted. Except you have to run them through your digestive track first.
I wish VS would never buy another web site.
granted, VS never buys another site because they own them all. even porno.
i wish it was 4:30, i wanna go home!
Quote from: aaronb on July 03, 2008, 09:24:06 AM
granted, VS never buys another site because they own them all. even porno.
i wish it was 4:30, i wanna go home!
Nicely done. Your wish is granted. It's 4:30am and you're home but you have to get up in a couple hours to go to work.
I wish my wish could not be corrupted.
Granted. Your wish is not corrupted in any way, shape, or form. Your brain, however, is. You now barely function, and smell colors. And everything smells brown.
I wish this coming weekend was three months long instead of three days.
Quote from: x136 on July 03, 2008, 09:36:34 AM
Granted. Your wish is not corrupted in any way, shape, or form. Your brain, however, is. You now barely function, and smell colors. And everything smells brown.
I wish this coming weekend was three months long instead of three days.
Ah, x136... Your wish is granted. This weekend will last three months, but since it's fourth of July, fireworks are set off continuously for one of those months... in your left eye. The next two months, the doctors try to repair it with nothing but a spoon, needle, and masking tape... and they mix your eyes up and start on the right instead.
I wish my paperwork would do itself.
Presto... your paperwork does itself now, but the IRS has the CIA detain you in Gitmo doing IRS audits 24/7. You are never seen again.
I wish I didn't lose my garage door opener on the highway during my ride to work
Quote from: bryant8 on July 03, 2008, 10:19:56 AM
Presto... your paperwork does itself now, but the IRS has the CIA detain you in Gitmo doing IRS audits 24/7. You are never seen again.
I wish I didn't lose my garage door opener on the highway during my ride to work
As you wish...you didn't lose it...you accidentally sat on it and it has wedged itself up in your personal cavity...and unfortunately, the only way to open the garage door now is to reach in and press the button every time. (Buy handywipes!)
I wish everyone a happy 4th!
Quote from: ducpenguin on July 03, 2008, 12:19:36 PM
As you wish...you didn't lose it...you accidentally sat on it and it has wedged itself up in your personal cavity...and unfortunately, the only way to open the garage door now is to reach in and press the button every time. (Buy handywipes!)
I wish everyone a happy 4th!
Granted. But you wished us a happy 4th of March. This makes us point and laugh at you when you are not looking.
I wish for a 12" pianist.
sac
Granted, but Mini Liberace woo's yer woman away from you. That's what'cha get for play'n with yer organ, when ya should have been going to piano lessons.
I wish I had a beer right now.
Quote from: bobspapa on July 03, 2008, 12:46:53 PM
Granted, but Mini Liberace woo's yer woman away from you. That's what'cha get for play'n with yer organ, when ya should have been going to piano lessons.
I wish I had a beer right now.
Here's your warm Coors Light.
I wish I could do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight.
sac
Quote from: SacDuc on July 03, 2008, 12:48:35 PM
Here's your warm Coors Light.
I wish I could do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight.
sac
granted.... I want to make sure ya get that out of your system before tomorrow night ;)
I wish I liked warm coors lights
Quote from: SacDuc on July 03, 2008, 12:48:35 PM
I wish I could do a little dance, make a little love and get down tonight.
Granted... but when you wake in the morning.. you find that it was with your grandmother.
I wish I was a sponsored and championship winning MotoGP Ducati rider. [thumbsup]
Quote from: bobspapa on July 03, 2008, 12:52:49 PM
granted.... I want to make sure ya get that out of your system before tomorrow night ;)
I wish I liked warm coors lights
okie... you like warm coors light, and the fridge is filled with ice cold corona's and pre-sliced lime wedges that fit perfectly into the bottle neck...
i wish i could leave work right now
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 03, 2008, 12:56:02 PM
okie... you like warm coors light, and the fridge is filled with ice cold corona's and pre-sliced lime wedges that fit perfectly into the bottle neck...
i wish i could leave work right now
You can. You'll just get fired. And hit by a bus. And attacked by rabid badgers.
I wish I may I wish I might wish upon a star tonight.
sac
Quote from: SacDuc on July 03, 2008, 12:58:34 PM
You can. You'll just get fired. And hit by a bus. And attacked by rabid badgers.
I wish I may I wish I might wish upon a star tonight.
sac
granted... and that star is Larry Storch. he don't smell so good.
I wish I could go to lunch
Quote from: bobspapa on July 03, 2008, 01:00:10 PM
granted... and that star is Larry Storch. he don't smell so good.
I wish I could go to lunch
go already... but you mistakenly ate gluten, and now have a tummy ache
i wish i was a can-can dancer
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 03, 2008, 01:01:48 PM
go already... but you mistakenly ate gluten, and now have a tummy ache
i wish i was a can-can dancer
Granted... but you end up dancing with tin cans as a hobo under a bridge.
I wish I was an Oscer Meyer wiener.
Granted.... but you actually become Oscar the Grouches weiner
I wish I had lobster claws for hands
Quote from: bobspapa on July 03, 2008, 01:06:17 PM
Granted.... but you actually become Oscar the Grouches weiner
I wish I had lobster claws for hands
After sitting the hot tub a little too long the sweet taste of your own hands over powers you and you eat them. Nice job there Stubby.
I wish I . . . oooooooh . . . could stop . . . OOOOOOOOOOOOH . . . complulsively masturbating . . . aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
sac
Quote from: SacDuc on July 03, 2008, 01:10:38 PM
After sitting the hot tub a little too long the sweet taste of your own hands over powers you and you eat them. Nice job there Stubby.
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Quote from: SacDuc on July 03, 2008, 01:10:38 PM
I wish I . . . oooooooh . . . could stop . . . OOOOOOOOOOOOH . . . complulsively masturbating . . . aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
sac
You stop when it falls off from over usage.
I wish I had Angelina Joli in bed with me!!
Quote from: ryandalling on July 03, 2008, 01:35:32 PM
You stop when it falls off from over usage.
I wish I had Angelina Joli in bed with me!!
granted.... but you are only there to dispose of the placentas and cut the cords
I wish I could pilot a helicopter
Quote from: bobspapa on July 03, 2008, 01:38:14 PM
granted.... but you are only there to dispose of the placentas and cut the cords
I wish I could pilot a helicopter
And you will. Once.
I wish I had a little rabbit who I would hug and squeeze and pet and would call him George.
sac
Quote from: SacDuc on July 03, 2008, 01:40:54 PMI wish I had a little rabbit who I would hug and squeeze and pet and would call him George.
(http://img398.imageshack.us/img398/7706/holygrail20rabbitak3.jpg)
I wish I weren't sitting in an office.
Quote from: x136 on July 03, 2008, 02:01:35 PM
(http://img398.imageshack.us/img398/7706/holygrail20rabbitak3.jpg)
You sir, are so full of AWESOME you are the AWESOMEST guy in AWESOME land! [clap]
Quote from: x136 on July 03, 2008, 02:01:35 PM
I wish I weren't sitting in an office.
Granted. Instead your sitting in an orifice. Michael Moore's orifice.
I wish my gf's butt was bigger.
Quote from: jclin on July 03, 2008, 02:31:27 PM
Granted. Instead your sitting in an orifice. Michael Moore's orifice.
I wish my gf's butt was bigger.
(http://www.marry-an-ugly-millionaire-online-dating-agency.com/images/fat-girl-black-undies-bra-thighs.jpg)
i wish for a 20,000 mile valve service interval
Quote from: aaronb on July 03, 2008, 04:41:14 PM
(http://www.marry-an-ugly-millionaire-online-dating-agency.com/images/fat-girl-black-undies-bra-thighs.jpg)
i wish for a 20,000 mile valve service interval
granted. now every time the earth rotates you have to have a heart bypass surgery.
i wish beer goggles made women actually look like you think they look.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 03, 2008, 05:14:03 PM
granted. now every time the earth rotates you have to have a heart bypass surgery.
i wish beer goggles made women actually look like you think they look.
Too bad you can't get the images of wildebeests and gnus out of your head.
I wish that Yellowstone would blow it's top.
Quote from: lethe on July 03, 2008, 05:21:58 PM
Too bad you can't get the images of wildebeests and gnus out of your head.
I wish that Yellowstone would blow it's top.
Granted, but yellowstone is your nickname, Top is the nickname of Ash (you're the bottom) [bang]
I wish I was a NFL pro-bowl quarterback
Quote from: Kaveh on July 03, 2008, 05:49:12 PM
Granted, but yellowstone is your nickname, Top is the nickname of Ash [bang]
I wish I was a NFL pro-bowl quarterback
poof, you are joe namath and must wear panty hose all day long now.
i wish i could urinate on vladimir lenin's corpse.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 03, 2008, 05:50:26 PM
poof, you are joe namath and must wear panty hose all day long now.
i wish i could urinate on vladimir lenin's corpse.
You do urinate on Lenin's corpse, but your urine has magical properties and Lenin is now a Zombie that takes over teh US gov't.
I wish panty hose didn't run...
Quote from: Kaveh on July 03, 2008, 05:53:21 PM
I wish panty hose didn't run...
Granted. But now they don't come off either.
I wish God had never been invented.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 03, 2008, 07:23:17 PM
I wish God had never been invented.
OK - there is no god... that's actually a good one! 8)
But to play the game...
There is no god, there is no religion, there are no religious traditions, so... no rest on Sunday. You must work 7 days a week until death.
I wish I could lose weight effortlessly!
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 03, 2008, 07:23:17 PM
I wish God had never been invented.
Granted. As most theologists believe, God is the Creator and source of existence, and doesn't require his creation's invention to exist.
At the minimum, God is beyond the boundaries of space and time. Never don't mean squat.
Doh, too slow.
QuoteI wish I could lose weight effortlessly!
Granted. It takes no effort to lose weight, because it's out of your control entirely. You shrink until you disappear!
I wish people were a little nicer to each other.
Quote from: BWClark on July 03, 2008, 07:42:15 PM
I wish people were a little nicer to each other.
Granted, but now people incessantly sniff your butt just to say hi. And you are expected to do the same.
I wish fireworks weren't going to go all night tonight, keeping me awake... [bang]
Quote from: Manny on July 03, 2008, 09:36:31 PMI wish fireworks weren't going to go all night tonight, keeping me awake... [bang]
Granted, but you slept with earplugs, so you didn't notice anyway, thus wasting a perfectly good wish!
I wish I hadn't taken a nap today and thrown off my sleep schedule for the night.
You didn't take a nap, but you're now tired and cranky.
I wish that George Lucas produces another Star Wars trilogy.
Quote from: krolik on July 04, 2008, 10:37:26 AM
You didn't take a nap, but you're now tired and cranky.
I wish that George Lucas produces another Star Wars trilogy.
Granted. It is just as bad as the other Star Wars movies, excluding the first one. It is one giant CGI cluster f*ck. The characters are all 20th century Disney types and the entire soundtrack is done to rap music. Your wish is punishment all by itself.
I wish I could burn stupid people as fuel in my Ducati.
Quote from: silentbob on July 04, 2008, 11:31:06 AM
Granted. It is just as bad as the other Star Wars movies, excluding the first one. It is one giant CGI cluster f*ck. The characters are all 20th century Disney types and the entire soundtrack is done to rap music. Your wish is punishment all by itself.
I wish I could burn stupid people as fuel in my Ducati.
granted, but now your exhaust smells like burning flesh and shit and instead of a nice jingle-jangle for your clutch, it is the sound of bones crunching. you are jailed for life and end up being sodomised for the rest of your natural days.
I wish there were more biodiesel stations around.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 04, 2008, 12:39:34 PM
granted, but now your exhaust smells like burning flesh and shit and instead of a nice jingle-jangle for your clutch, it is the sound of bones crunching. you are jailed for life and end up being sodomised for the rest of your natural days.
I wish there were more biodiesel stations around.
Granted, but it turns out that inhaling the emissions from biodesiel causes cancer in labrats and now biodesiel is outlawed. So many people had put their money into it that we go into a further recession. Thanks asshole!
I wish I didn't get a sunburn today.
Granted, You didn't get a sunburn today, you got frostbite.
I wish I had a Sopwith Camel.
Quote from: krolik on July 04, 2008, 02:31:49 PM
Granted, You didn't get a sunburn today, you got frostbite.
I wish I had a Sopwith Camel.
Ok, you swap spit with a camel. That was easy but an odd thing to wish for.
I wish I could focus my gas in a death beam from my ass and destroy anything I target.
[puke]
Quote from: lethe on July 04, 2008, 02:37:03 PM
Ok, you swap spit with a camel. That was easy but an odd thing to wish for.
I wish I could focus my gas in a death beam from my ass and destroy anything I target.
granted, but in order to be able to focus your gas, it has to be semi-solid, so you just end up shitting your pants constantly in order to destroy people. however, it never destroys anything, it only makes people gag a bit and you go home with horrible sharts.
I wish I could cause other people's farts to stay on their bodies so they have to smell them for the rest of the day.
Granted. But everyones farts also stick to you and you smell like peoples farts all day long. I wish I didn't have a hangover right now.
Granted. But to no longer have a hangover, you must drink more and have massive hangover tomorrow morning.
I wish I had a cheeseburger.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 04, 2008, 07:39:53 PM
Granted. But everyones farts also stick to you and you smell like peoples farts all day long. I wish I didn't have a hangover right now.
Granted, you'll have it in 5 seconds' time instead, and your head will hurt twice as much and you will be twice as nauseated.
Doh!
QuoteCheeseburger
Presto, here's your delicious cheeseburger, contained in an impregnable container. You can look at it though...
I wish I was looking forward to my father-in-law coming to visit... [bang]
Quote from: BWClark on July 04, 2008, 10:54:20 PM
Granted, you'll have it in 5 seconds' time instead, and your head will hurt twice as much and you will be twice as nauseated.
Doh!
Presto, here's your delicious cheeseburger, contained in an impregnable container. You can look at it though...
I wish I was looking forward to my father-in-law coming to visit... [bang]
>poof< you are now deeply in love with your father-in-law and you always pine for his return...
I wish my sister-in-law would wear normal clothes and stop wearing miniskirts with no panties and having "OOPSIE!" moments when she (and her husband and kids) come over. They think I have a perma-tent. She does it on purpose for the attention.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 05, 2008, 04:53:14 AM
>poof< you are now deeply in love with your father-in-law and you always pine for his return...
I wish my sister-in-law would wear normal clothes and stop wearing miniskirts with no panties and having "OOPSIE!" moments when she (and her husband and kids) come over. They think I have a perma-tent. She does it on purpose for the attention.
poof you like men now, her dress has no effect on your 'tent'
i wish i had a big ham and cheese omelet with mushrooms, onions, and peppers... and it was on a plate in front of me and i had a fork, a hand to control it, a mouth to ingest it and a stomach to digest it.
Quote from: aaronb on July 05, 2008, 07:17:12 AM
poof you like men now, her dress has no effect on your 'tent'
i wish i had a big ham and cheese omelet with mushrooms, onions, and peppers... and it was on a plate in front of me and i had a fork, a hand to control it, a mouth to ingest it and a stomach to digest it.
But you have no ass to get rid of the waste and die painfully.
I wish I could fly through the air swiftly and with ease when wearing my magic pajamas.
Oh and I wish Knight was swifter because I have a feeling that he's about to screw up wish corrupting yet again. [roll]
Quote from: lethe on July 05, 2008, 07:21:24 AM
But you have no ass to get rid of the waste and die painfully.
I wish I could fly through the air swiftly and with ease when wearing my magic pajamas.
Oh and I wish Knight was swifter because I have a feeling that he's about to screw up wish corrupting yet again. [roll]
you can fly with your magic pajamas, but they are soooo coool i borrow them, and never return them...
ii wish knight could type faster
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 05, 2008, 07:26:40 AM
you can fly with your magic pajamas, but they are soooo coool i borrow them, and never return them...
ii wish knight could type faster
Granted but now he's filling up your PM box with gheyness.
I wish I could knock 3 seconds off my laptimes at VIR.
Quote from: Stillie on July 05, 2008, 08:10:06 AM
Granted but now he's filling up your PM box with gheyness.
I wish I could knock 3 seconds off my laptimes at VIR.
Granted, but you have a huge crash in T10 on the next lap. (Oh, wait, that already happened.)
I wish I could get my body to do what my brain tells it to do at the track.
Quote from: Ducatista on July 05, 2008, 08:18:10 AM
Granted, but you have a huge crash in T10 on the next lap. (Oh, wait, that already happened.)
I wish I could get my body to do what my brain tells it to do at the track.
granted. you go into a corner too hot and think to yourself "oh shit!"
I wish my eyes would change color depending on my mood.
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 05, 2008, 08:39:58 AM
granted. you go into a corner too hot and think to yourself "oh shit!"
I wish my eyes would change color depending on my mood.
They do. I can see them changing color while they sit in a jar on my desk.
I wish ducatizzzz's sister in law was here.
Quote from: me on July 05, 2008, 08:56:44 AM
They do. I can see them changing color while they sit in a jar on my desk.
I wish ducatizzzz's sister in law was here.
She is but you find out that his and your tastes are quite different as her 400 lb bloatedness bends over in front of you to show you "the goods".
I wish I could teach the dogs to do the yardwork.
Quote from: lethe on July 05, 2008, 09:10:06 AM
I wish I could teach the dogs to do the yardwork.
Granted. Except in making the necessary cognitive leap to do yard work, they become intelligent, realize they are nothing more then slaves to you and rise up against you. It's like planet of the apes, only with dogs.
I wish I had a decent track bike, and more time to use it.
Granted, you now have a decent track bike and more time to use it, but due to fuel use and noise concerns all tracks are shut down.
I wish I had a 1913 Liberty Head nickel.
Quote from: krolik on July 05, 2008, 11:18:58 AM
I wish I had a 1913 Liberty Head nickel.
You have one. Its super glued to the sidewalk in front of your house and you pass in every day on the way to the mailbox.
I wish I wasn't balding.
Granted. You are no longer balding. You have more hair than Chewbacca and have developed a bad case of fleas.
I wish my new wife wasn't so horny. I'm too tired to ride.
Quote from: me on July 05, 2008, 08:56:44 AM
They do. I can see them changing color while they sit in a jar on my desk.
I wish ducatizzzz's sister in law was here.
Quote from: lethe on July 05, 2008, 09:10:06 AM
She is but you find out that his and your tastes are quite different as her 400 lb bloatedness bends over in front of you to show you "the goods".
wrong! 105lbs..
(http://i99.photobucket.com/albums/l309/ducatiz/DML/8f2db97b.jpg)
for the record, wife is about the same.... so is the oldest sister.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 05, 2008, 12:26:05 PM
Granted. You are no longer balding. You have more hair than Chewbacca and have developed a bad case of fleas.
I wish my new wife wasn't so horny. I'm too tired to ride.
Uh...ok...granted... You get what you wish for.
I wish I pooped chocolate.
Granted. You can't stop pooping chocolate. Occasionally you poop chocolate milk and last night you pooped out the nesquick bunny.
I wish I had another wish.
You have another wish, but that one is corrupted worse than any of the others.
I wish I was done moving...
Quote from: NAKID on July 05, 2008, 05:50:05 PM
You have another wish, but that one is corrupted worse than any of the others.
I wish I was done moving...
You're completely paralyzed but at least you end up living to a ripe old age of 103.
I wish the woman in the painting across the room from me came to life.
Granted. She does come to life. She has all the worst attributes of Amy Winehouse.
I wish I didn't have to get up to pour another glass of Jose Quervo platinum family reserve.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 05, 2008, 06:13:09 PM
Granted. She does come to life. She has all the worst attributes of Amy Winehouse.
I wish I didn't have to get up to pour another glass of Jose Quervo platinum family reserve.
You are now paralyzed from the waist down and the bottle of tequila is just out of reach.
I wish for nothing in order to achieve true Zen enlightenment.
Quote from: Johnny OrganDonor on July 05, 2008, 06:25:53 PM
You are now paralyzed from the waist down and the bottle of tequila is just out of reach.
I wish for nothing in order to achieve true Zen enlightenment.
Your wish is granted, you are now in "nothingness". You see nothing, hear nothing etc....
I wish my lawsuit was over and ended with me victorious with a large cash settlement...
You win your lawsuit and get a small fortune in the settlement. Unfortunatly lawyer fees eat up most of the winnings. You lose the rest in Vegas on a cheap hooker named bambi.
Oh and I wish I had that drink now.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 05, 2008, 07:17:37 PM
Oh and I wish I had that drink now.
OK, you get to enjoy your Jose Cuervo Platinum Family Reserve in a crushed ice margarita made with cheap triple sec and juice from a plastic lime.
I wish that I wasn't so boring
In becoming exciting, you gain enemies. Powerful ones. They do what powerful enemies tend to do: Kill your ass. How's that for an exciting life?
I wish I had a fruit tree that bore no fruit.
Your fruit tree bears no fruit. Instead, it just eats fruit. In fact it is so hungry for fruit it becomes overgrown and sticks its branches through the windows into the kitchen.
I wish my paperwork would organize itself.
your paper wok organizes itself but you forgot to put a cover letter on your TPS report. didn't you get the memo?
i wish i had a nice bottle of scotch to drink tonight.
You have in front of you an immaculate bottle of scotch... tape. Whoops.
I wish I could get eight hours of sleep in four hours.
Quote from: x136 on July 05, 2008, 11:19:50 PM
You have in front of you an immaculate bottle of scotch... tape. Whoops.
I wish I could get eight hours of sleep in four hours.
You get 8 hours of sleep in 4, but it turns out everything for you now moves at 2x speed. You die in half the time you would have otherwise, thinking everyone has been moving in slow motion.
I wish I had a bidet.
Granted, but its hooked to your building's fire-sprinkler system. Instant water colonic. Every time.
I wish my car's alignment were fixed already.
your alignment is now perfect... because every road veers to the left now. it now takes longer get to your destination because you just drive around in big circles
i wish my new neighbors were quieter
Quote from: aaronb on July 06, 2008, 09:06:10 AM
your alignment is now perfect... because every road veers to the left now. it now takes longer get to your destination because you just drive around in big circles
i wish my new neighbors were quieter
Everyone in the neighborhood told the investigators that your nieghbors were so quiet and never bothered any one. No one can understand how your severed head ended up in your nieghbor's freezer.
I wish I were a tanning consultant to super models. Beautiful female super models.
you are now a man working in the fashion industry, enjoy the gay sex
i wish i had mind control
Granted. You now have the ability to control minds. Unfortunatly every time you use this new found power you. Shart yourself uncontrollably for hours on end.
I wish for a bacon burger.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 06, 2008, 09:53:20 AM
Granted. You now have the ability to control minds. Unfortunatly every time you use this new found power you. Shart yourself uncontrollably for hours on end.
I wish for a bacon burger.
your veggie bacon veggie burger with sprouted spelt bread, rice sprouts and birch bark magically appears, with a side of beet salad and organically grown lark's anuses.
i wish i had a personal assistant, who looked like jessica alba, but had a perfect OFF switch and a volume control.
Granted, but after you use the "off" switch, you discover the lack of an "on" switch. You use her to hang your coat on.
I wish track days were cheaper so I could do more of them.
Track days cost $50. The schools are swamped. They increase enrollment. The next track day you can get a slot for has 75 people on track at once. Some noob on a 'Busa totals your bike and his coming out of the pits. You are, thankfully, unhurt.
I wish I were sober.
Granted. You are sobered up very quickly after waking up next to a waitress with a uni-brow and missing half her teeth. And what is that smell?
I wish I had a picture of your last night to blackmail you.
You are given the picture by the PI you hired to tail me. You are left crying in the fetal position when you look at the photos and realize the horrible, demeaning things I've just done to your mother.
I wish calculus weren't so hard.
On an unrelated note, congrats on the nuptials porschaholic.
Poof, calculus is easy. Now, everyone has a PhD in math and no one will accept a job hauling trash or in construction. All other disciplines fall to the wayside and everyone acts like a Mentat. Society falls apart and a civil war erupts. Many of the math-nerds have developed nukes at home. Hellloooo Armageddon.
I wish that Ahmadinejab of Iran would spontaneously rape a camel in public while shouting obscenities about his religious practices.
Thanks for the congrats Obsessed.
Granted. The Iranian dude gets some good media attention and is banished from his land. He is exiled to live in America and now becomes your neighbor.
I wish pilot powers lasted forever and still had great handling.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 06, 2008, 03:22:25 PM
I wish pilot powers lasted forever and still had great handling.
Granted. They last forever and maintain great handling. They are so miraculous that they attract government attention and are deemed classified and are for top secret military use only. Yours are confiscated.
I wish I hadn't lost so much money on the stockmarket in the last year.
Granted. You lost your money in real estate like the rest of the country.
I wish there were more hours in the day.
Granted, but you now work more than 8 hours by the same percentage that the day has increased in length. All the extra work makes your hair fall out even faster.
I wish I had adaptive camo like the Predator does.
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 06, 2008, 06:40:51 PM
I wish I had adaptive camo like the Predator does.
You had it... between the ages of 3 and 6 months of age. Fortunately you outgrew it and never attracted the attention of the government.
I wish it wasn't winter here in the southern hemisphere. The rain and cold is starting to get to me.
Granted, it's now summer in the southern hemishpere, in the middle of a heat wave, over 110 degrees F for weeks.
I wish Mother had a happy life.
Quote from: krolik on July 06, 2008, 08:45:06 PM
I wish Mother had a happy life.
Shut yer hole! >:(
Who would I base my Christopher Walken/can't be bothered with punctuation writing style on?
Quote from: Obsessed? on July 06, 2008, 08:49:26 PM
Shut yer hole! >:(
Who would I base my Christopher Walken/can't be bothered with punctuation writing style on?
Okay okay, Both granted. Mother has a happy life, but Obsessed has nobody to idolize anymore.
Obsessed, Christopher Walken buys a Monster and joins the board and you can base your writing style directly on his, but all he writes is nonsense about a watch and keeping it up his ass. Your writing emulates his...
(http://www.danidoblas.com/blog/wp-content/2007/09/pulp_fiction_koons.jpg)
I wish I could see into the future...
Quote from: BWClark on July 07, 2008, 07:03:30 PM
I wish I could see into the future...
you can see the future. and you wait in constant fear for march 3rd 2010... there is nothing you can do.
i wish my team old have won volleyball tonight. free pitcher FTW
Your old team won at volleyball, too bad they were playing your new team.
No beer for you.
I wish that there were boobies in every post on the DMF.
whoops should have read would... we bought the pitchers we didn't win....
Quote from: krolik on July 07, 2008, 07:46:39 PM
Your old team won at volleyball, too bad they were playing your new team.
No beer for you.
I wish that there were boobies in every post on the DMF.
sure...MAN BOOBS (http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k251/cta_partyboy/man-boobs.jpg)
i wish i were sitting on a beach in the dominican with a pina` colada in my hand right now
Quote from: aaronb on July 07, 2008, 07:51:30 PM
sure...MAN BOOBS
i wish i were sitting on a beach in the dominican with a pina` colada in my hand right now
You get your wish, but in your left hand is my voluptuous man-boob! You cannot bring yourself to let go!
I wish aaronb and I were in the dominican and that he was holding my man-boob.
Edit: Dear god. That man boob pic was horrible...
Quote from: BWClark on July 07, 2008, 08:26:09 PM
You get your wish, but in your left hand is my voluptuous man-boob! You cannot bring yourself to let go!
I wish aaronb and I were in the dominican and that he was holding my man-boob.
Edit: Dear god. That man boob pic was horrible...
POOF, you and aaronb are in Dominicana as you describe -- together on your honeymoon (and I do mean POOF). You spend a week getting massages from underage boys and wine colonics then are busted by the police for contributing to the delinquency of a minor and spend the next 22 years in a Dominican prison married to someone else.
I wish it rained one day a week, the same day and only for an inch, and the other 6 days it was 75-80 degrees F and clear skies.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 08, 2008, 06:24:23 AM
POOF, you and aaronb are in Dominicana as you describe -- together on your honeymoon (and I do mean POOF). You spend a week getting massages from underage boys and wine colonics then are busted by the police for contributing to the delinquency of a minor and spend the next 22 years in a Dominican prison married to someone else.
I wish it rained one day a week, the same day and only for an inch, and the other 6 days it was 75-80 degrees F and clear skies.
granted....thats the weather in the Dominican, but see'n how you are locked away in prison married to bw.... you dont get to enjoy it all that much....cept for sodomy Sundays, where you get to romp with your mate outside in the yard for an hour
I wish my sunburn would stop hurt'n.
Your sunburn stops hurting when your skin sloughs off in large sheets.
Coincidentally, I wish I had a bucket filled with large sheets of human skin.
Unfortunately, the bucket contains your own skin.
I wish that I was poor, stupid, and ugly
Granted. But your also ghey.
I wish it was lunch time.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 08, 2008, 10:07:45 AM
I wish it was lunch time.
It is lunch. Eat your peanut butter & skin sanwiches!!
I'd like another Ducati!!
Quote from: lauramonster on July 08, 2008, 10:11:27 AM
It is lunch. Eat your peanut butter & skin sanwiches!!
I'd like another Ducati!!
granted.... your
like increases ten-fold.... you just cant have.
I wish for fish
Quote from: bobspapa on July 08, 2008, 10:21:20 AM
granted.... your like increases ten-fold.... you just cant have.
I wish for fish
Granted but now you don't want to be with her because of the smell.
I wish my bike was out of the shop.
Quote from: me on July 08, 2008, 10:25:26 AM
Granted but now you don't want to be with her because of the smell.
I wish my bike was out of the shop.
your bike is out of the shop, but has been stolen before you could pick it up, and now you have no idea where it is
i wish it were friday [beer]
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 08, 2008, 10:30:28 AM
your bike is out of the shop, but has been stolen before you could pick it up, and now you have no idea where it is
i wish it were friday [beer]
It's Friday, but you're at home... and lonely.
I wish my credit rating wasn't so bad [bang].
Quote from: tommys67 on July 08, 2008, 10:33:16 AM
It's Friday, but you're at home... and lonely.
I wish my credit rating wasn't so bad [bang].
you now have oodles of credit, but no money or job to pay the bills and the banks take everything
i wish i had a million dollars
Granted. You no longer have a credit score, or any identity for that matter.
I wish for bacon flavored beer.
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 08, 2008, 10:39:29 AM
i wish i had a million dollars
You have a million dollars, but Homeland Security wants to know how you got it, and where it is [leo].
I wish I could find a fruit smoothie drink that does NOT include bananas :P
Quote from: tommys67 on July 08, 2008, 10:43:25 AM
You have a million dollars, but Homeland Security wants to know how you got it, and where it is [leo].
I wish I could find a fruit smoothie drink that does NOT include bananas :P
granted, but the recipe is 90% exlax and you die shitting your intestines out.
I wish I could time travel effortlessly and flawlessly and would never get stuck in a single time period unless I wanted to.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 08, 2008, 10:49:08 AM
I wish I could time travel effortlessly and flawlessly and would never get stuck in a single time period unless I wanted to.
Granted - You can time travel effortlessly, but your clothes cannot. You arrive everywhere nekkid.
I wish I could instantly triple my skill level at riding a motorbike [moto]
Quote from: tommys67 on July 08, 2008, 10:51:44 AM
Granted - You can time travel effortlessly, but your clothes cannot. You arrive everywhere nekkid.
that's great, but the purpose and manner of my time travel, i would just go nekkid anyhow... [evil] [evil]
Quote from: tommys67 on July 08, 2008, 10:51:44 AMI wish I could instantly triple my skill level at riding a motorbike [moto]
Your skill is tripled. But it only applies to mopeds and 50cc scooters.
I wish summer didn't exist, being replaced by spring and fall.
granted.... you step on a spring, and fall. breaking your neck.
I wish for whirly peas
Quote from: bobspapa on July 08, 2008, 11:50:26 AM
granted.... you step on a spring, and fall. breaking your neck.
I wish for whirly peas
you get whirly peas injected into your ass every hr, on the hr.
i still wish my co-worker wasn't an airhead
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 08, 2008, 12:46:03 PM
you get whirly peas injected into your ass every hr, on the hr.
i still wish my co-worker wasn't an airhead
Your co-worker is brilliant. You however are so retarded they won't even let you participate in the Special Olympics.
I wish I had a gun in a knife fight.
sac
Quote from: SacDuc on July 08, 2008, 12:49:05 PM
I wish I had a gun in a knife fight.
sac
Granted. Ammo for the gun is another story, however.
I wish I invented and own the patents on a cheap, practical, long distance, teleportation machine.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 08, 2008, 12:54:44 PMI wish I invented and own the patents on a cheap, practical, long distance, teleportation machine.
You did, but then the patent was quickly revoked for being obvious.
I wish I had a wish-ruination shield.
Quote from: x136 on July 08, 2008, 01:02:35 PM
You did, but then the patent was quickly revoked for being obvious.
I wish I had a wish-ruination shield.
Granted. So there you go. You have your stupid sheild. Good job. Now you went and ruined the thread. We were just trying to have a few laughs. But you had to go and wreck it for everyone. I hope you're proud of yourself. I hope that sheild keeps you real warm at night because that's all you're going to have left after word gets out that you think that you are just soooooo special that you get to wish for the wish-ruination shield. You will live a long miserable lonely life.
I want a puupy.
sac
Quote from: SacDuc on July 08, 2008, 01:20:01 PM
Granted. So there you go. You have your stupid sheild. Good job. Now you went and ruined the thread. We were just trying to have a few laughs. But you had to go and wreck it for everyone. I hope you're proud of yourself. I hope that sheild keeps you real warm at night because that's all you're going to have left after word gets out that you think that you are just soooooo special that you get to wish for the wish-ruination shield. You will live a long miserable lonely life.
I want a puupy.
sac
you could have had a puppy if mr brilliant there hadn't ruined everything
now the poor puppy dies in the kennel never to be loved inappropriately by sac
Quote from: SacDuc on July 08, 2008, 01:20:01 PM
Granted. So there you go. You have your stupid sheild. Good job. Now you went and ruined the thread. We were just trying to have a few laughs. But you had to go and wreck it for everyone. I hope you're proud of yourself. I hope that sheild keeps you real warm at night because that's all you're going to have left after word gets out that you think that you are just soooooo special that you get to wish for the wish-ruination shield. You will live a long miserable lonely life.
I want a puupy.
sac
you have a puppy. it's na,me is cerebus. he grows up into a great watchdog. a very, very large one at that.
have fun trying to get inot your own house.
i wish x136 hadn't gotten his wish ruination shield.
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 08, 2008, 01:23:36 PM
you have a puppy. it's na,me is cerebus. he grows up into a great watchdog. a very, very large one at that.
have fun trying to get inot your own house.
i wish x136 hadn't gotten his wish ruination shield.
The shield is gone but it was guarded by a couple of angry chimps and in the process of removing it you lose your testicles and your nose.
I wish I had an army of trained chimps that knew Joel's address.
Quote from: me on July 08, 2008, 01:33:05 PM
The shield is gone but it was guarded by a couple of angry chimps and in the process of removing it you lose your testicles and your nose.
I wish I had an army of trained chimps that knew Joel's address.
granted..... they come over, hang out.... we have a party, I brainwash them, and they become my troops.
I wish a had a poo slingshot
Quote from: bobspapa on July 08, 2008, 01:43:19 PM
granted..... they come over, hang out.... we have a party, I brainwash them, and they become my troops.
I wish a had a poo slingshot
poo slingshot always backfires [puke]
i wish you all would stop talking about poo
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 08, 2008, 01:47:25 PM
poo slingshot always backfires [puke]
i wish you all would stop talking about poo
Granted.... welcome to pee talk, 24 hrs of nonstop wizz referances.
I wish I had an autojohn
Quote from: bobspapa on July 08, 2008, 01:56:11 PM
Granted.... welcome to pee talk, 24 hrs of nonstop wizz referances.
I wish I had an autojohn
That's shitty. Anyway, you have an autojohn. And you are his autowhore. He's hung like horse and just ate a fist full of Viagra.
I wish my father didn't have to work so hard.
sac
Your dad can take it easy because you're there to do all of his work and run personal errands for him.
I wish that the rest of you couldn't type.
Quote from: Johnny OrganDonor on July 08, 2008, 02:45:44 PM
Your dad can take easy because you're there to do all of his work and run personal errands for him.
I wish that the rest of you couldn't type.
JKOIUI:ikj recie[or[o[eorn
rfereqoprof9nf4i45 54 45i3o54m jo5oisdmkf-04 4f3;'4oi
alsdkjoienwfmnasl;dhoivanwer nlgthrwoihadsckjvnz,xmcnvpgiwapihlkdnv.mnprilsnlzkdsfmvnclvf.sadsa
I wish I wasn't on duty tomorrow.
Quote from: Obsessed? on July 08, 2008, 02:47:16 PM
alsdkjoienwfmnasl;dhoivanwer nlgthrwoihadsckjvnz,xmcnvpgiwapihlkdnv.mnprilsnlzkdsfmvnclvf.sadsa
I wish I wasn't on duty tomorrow.
You are on duty :P, I wish I could work tomorrow
Quote from: bobspapa on July 08, 2008, 02:47:02 PM
JKOIUI:ikj recie[or[o[eorn
rfereqoprof9nf4i45 54 45i3o54m jo5oisdmkf-04 4f3;'4oi
Bastid. Ya beat me by 12 seconds. [thumbsup]
You may work tomorrow. In the new toenail processing factory just down the street from your house...
I wish i had a plate full of real bacon (not turkey bacon) and some good tequila. And, you know, wasn't at work so that I could enjoy it...
Quote from: Manny on July 08, 2008, 02:54:32 PM
You may work tomorrow. In the new toenail processing factory just down the street from your house...
I wish i had a plate full of real bacon (not turkey bacon) and some good tequila. And, you know, wasn't at work so that I could enjoy it...
You have your bacon and tequila but you now find yourself in Mecca standing inside the largest mosque in the world.
I wish that I could speak Esperanto
Quote from: Johnny OrganDonor on July 08, 2008, 03:03:44 PM
You have your bacon and tequila but you now find yourself in Mecca standing inside the largest mosque in the world.
I wish that I could speak Esperanto
Jerk... >:(
You can speak Esperanto, but only Esperanto. And you now live in Brooklyn, so no one can understand more than 20% of what you say.
I wish I could go pick up my gun (with the new night sights on it) now.
Quote from: Johnny OrganDonor on July 08, 2008, 03:03:44 PM
You have your bacon and tequila but you now find yourself in Mecca standing inside the largest mosque in the world.
I wish that I could speak Esperanto
Oh you evil man
I am sipping on Manny's fine platinum family reserve tequila right now. I have no more wishes.
I wish I understood my new wife more.
Granted. You are now a woman.
I wish my bruise didn't hurt.
Granted. Your bruise doesn't hurt anymore. Now your face does because I've been pregnant dog slapping you for the past hour because you turned me into a woman.
I wish I was a man again.
Granted, you're a man again. But you still hit like a girl... and your new wife hits like you used to... and she's PISSED you don't understand her. "Ever."
I wish my bruised face was considered attractive by all the beautiful women in the world.
Your bruised face is attractive to all of the most beautiful women in the whole world. Unfortunatly for you they can't get within twenty feet because you now shart yourself with excitement anytime one of them gets close.
I wish that toilet paper was unobtainable for you.
jclin can no longer obtain toilet paper. Unfortunately for you, porschaholic, he lives with you and he's your new apprentice at work. Fortunately, this means you're surrounded by all the hotties. But you're still married, and constantly being shadowed by Captain Stinky.
I wish the Metal Gear games weren't so damned preachy.
Quote from: Obsessed? on July 08, 2008, 05:50:02 PM
I wish the Metal Gear games weren't so damned preachy.
Done and Granted. However to appease the people who LIKE the preachiness, the total amount of game time is slashed by 80%.
I wish I wasn't completely and thoroughly addicted to the internet :P.
Quote from: tommys67 on July 08, 2008, 07:59:01 PMI wish I wasn't completely and thoroughly addicted to the internet :P.
Your addiction is tested daily by a screaming 28,800 baud pipe.
I wish the good old da+++ NO CARRIER
Quote from: x136 on July 08, 2008, 08:18:33 PM
Your addiction is tested daily by a screaming 28,800 baud pipe.
I wish the good old da+++ NO CARRIER
Your carrier´s signal has just returned. You´ve just been downgraded to 9600baud.
I wish Nutts would remember how to play the game.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 09, 2008, 10:08:43 AM
I wish Nutts would remember how to play the game.
He remebers. But the game he remembers is Monopoly.
I wish the yellow tail at the sushi I ate at last night was better.
sac
Quote from: SacDuc on July 09, 2008, 10:13:14 AM
He remebers. But the game he remembers is Monopoly.
I wish the yellow tail at the sushi I ate at last night was better.
sac
the yellow tail was fantastic, however you aste so many yellow tails that you got a blockage from all the fins and can't poop.
i wish for nothingness.
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 09, 2008, 11:00:48 AM
the yellow tail was fantastic, however you aste so many yellow tails that you got a blockage from all the fins and can't poop.
i wish for nothingness.
...but nothing can't last forever.
I wish people would stop trying to hit me on the commute.
Quote from: DCXCV on July 09, 2008, 11:16:44 AM
I wish people would stop trying to hit me on the commute.
Your wish is granted. They start hitting you on the commute.... with foam bats! You make it safely to work, but your co-workers laugh at you uncontrollably. It's hard to work now.
I wish I didn't have to do my presentation next week.
Quote from: jclin on July 09, 2008, 11:22:28 AM
Your wish is granted. They start hitting you on the commute.... with foam bats! You make it safely to work, but your co-workers laugh at you uncontrollably. It's hard to work now.
I wish I didn't have to do my presentation next week.
granted, it is due tomorrow.
i wish i had a full time butler and maid who were both 100% normal and loyal and only worked for minimum wage and there were no weird surprises from them.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 09, 2008, 04:03:38 PM
granted, it is due tomorrow.
i wish i had a full time butler and maid who were both 100% normal and loyal and only worked for minimum wage and there were no weird surprises from them.
You got it, the maid looks like Kate Moss / the bulter is a spitting image of Mr French.
However to afford the maid and bulter you have to take on a new job that keeps you on the road 364 days a year.
I wish someone else would crawl under the bug and finish installing new turbo.
Someone steals your bug and installs the turbo themselves.
I wish I had a Titanium member.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 09, 2008, 05:07:22 PM
Someone steals your bug and installs the turbo themselves.
I wish I had a Titanium member.
OK, but titanium has no nerve sensation.
I wish that I could flick a beer bottle cap across the room by snapping my fingers. It always seems to impress the ladies and I've never been able to do it.
You can now flick a beer cap across the room. Unfortunatly your aim leaves some to be desired. You put out the eye of the only hot chick in the place. The rest look like chewbacca.
I wish for bacon flavored beer.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 09, 2008, 06:25:40 PM
You can now flick a beer cap across the room. Unfortunatly your aim leaves some to be desired. You put out the eye of the only hot chick in the place. The rest look like chewbacca.
I wish for bacon flavored beer.
>bing< You have it. It's the most nauseating thing you've ever tasted and now you vomit at the mere mention of any pork product, much less "bacon." Orthodox Jews around the world now snicker at the mention of your name.
I wish women didn't fart and didn't need to -- and didn't produce any kind of disgusting gas like men do.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 09, 2008, 06:48:17 PMI wish women didn't fart and didn't need to -- and didn't produce any kind of disgusting gas like men do.
As it turns out, gaseous emissions are the key to female beauty. Good one.
I wish northern California would stop being on fire.
Northern California is having a mini ice age that will last for twenty years with the average temperature being 0 degrees. Fortunatly it doesn't make it past the Rockies and Texas is now a constant 70 degrees.
I wish for a magic lamp with a genie so yall will stop corrupting my wishes.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 09, 2008, 07:21:26 PM
Northern California is having a mini ice age that will last for twenty years with the average temperature being 0 degrees. Fortunatly it doesn't make it past the Rockies and Texas is now a constant 70 degrees.
Awesome. Studded tires on the bikes, and I'm set.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 09, 2008, 07:21:26 PMI wish for a magic lamp with a genie so yall will stop corrupting my wishes.
Naturally, the genie also corrupts your wishes. Plus, you only get three, as opposed to the infinite wishes you get here.
I wish it wasn't now.
Quote from: x136 on July 09, 2008, 07:38:27 PM
I wish it wasn't now.
Thanks to the passage of time, it isn't. However your wish must be granted, so you always find yourself about 4 seconds behind the "now". People think you're stupid, and you become insanely accident prone because you have a 4 second reaction time.
I wish I were omnipotent
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 09, 2008, 07:58:22 PM
Thanks to the passage of time, it isn't. However your wish must be granted, so you always find yourself about 4 seconds behind the "now". People think you're stupid, and you become insanely accident prone because you have a 4 second reaction time.
Ah, so nothing changes. I sure dodged a bullet there. (By coincidence, obviously.)
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 09, 2008, 07:58:22 PMI wish I were omnipotent
Unfortunately, your cellular phone cuts out an an inopportune time while making this wish. Your wish of impotence is granted.
I wish we all lived in a yellow submarine.
Quote from: x136 on July 09, 2008, 08:21:28 PM
I wish we all lived in a yellow submarine.
We do. You should have used your wish to wish that we had not all had nothing but beans, eggs, and coffee today.
I wish for a very nice bottle of port. Been in a port mood lately.
Quote from: Manny on July 09, 2008, 08:23:48 PM
We do. You should have used your wish to wish that we had not all had nothing but beans, eggs, and coffee today.
I wish for a very nice bottle of port. Been in a port mood lately.
A long lost uncle bequeaths to you cases and cases of port nay liquid ambrosia.
Unfortunately your mere mortal GI tract can't handle this nectar of the gods and you get the uncontrolable squirts 2 out 3 times, 14 hours after consumption.
I hope to meet a much of DMFers at this years GABF.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 09, 2008, 06:25:40 PM
I wish for bacon flavored beer.
I have had smoked beer from Germany that tastes like sausage.
Quote from: sno_duc on July 09, 2008, 11:18:10 PM
A long lost uncle bequeaths to you cases and cases of port nay liquid ambrosia.
Unfortunately your mere mortal GI tract can't handle this nectar of the gods and you get the uncontrolable squirts 2 out 3 times, 14 hours after consumption.
I hope to meet a much of DMFers at this years GABF.
You do but they have all been turned into Vertical Scope flesh eating zombies. You run out of 12 gauge ammo. You get eaten by the zombies and they shit you out into a giant flashing ad banner.
I wish for world peas.
Quote from: me on July 09, 2008, 11:48:04 PM
You do but they have all been turned into Vertical Scope flesh eating zombies. You run out of 12 gauge .45 acp ammo. You get eaten by the zombies and they shit you out into a giant flashing ad banner.
I wish for world peas.
fixed it for you.I'm old school give me a 1911 any day
Quote from: me on July 09, 2008, 11:48:04 PM
You do but they have all been turned into Vertical Scope flesh eating zombies. You run out of 12 gauge ammo. You get eaten by the zombies and they shit you out into a giant flashing ad banner.
I wish for world peas.
Your wish is granted and the world is full of green peas but you get the runs from eating too many peas.
I wish I could be 18 years old again.
Quote from: NuTTs on July 10, 2008, 03:24:42 AM
Your wish is granted and the world is full of green peas but you get the runs from eating too many peas.
I wish I could be 18 years old again.
You are 18 years old, and a dog. You are well past your prime and arthritic and overweight and somewhat blind and deaf. Your owners take you to a white room that smells funny and a mean man stick something up your ass and leaves it there for a while. You hear them mumble something about you going to sleep...
I wish I was a veterinarian.
Quote from: BWClark on July 10, 2008, 04:35:57 AM
You are 18 years old, and a dog. You are well past your prime and arthritic and overweight and somewhat blind and deaf. Your owners take you to a white room that smells funny and a mean man stick something up your ass and leaves it there for a while. You hear them mumble something about you going to sleep...
I wish I was a veterinarian.
Your wish is granted..you are a veterinarian in a sick elephant hospice where you get poo´d on by sick, ill elephants and vomited on occasionally. Part of the detox procedure after a hard days work putting thermometers up elly´s behind is that you get it done to you too... with an elephant size thermometer causing you all sorts of pain that ends up causing you unimaginable joy.
I wish I was in Aruba..
Quote from: NuTTs on July 10, 2008, 06:42:35 AM
I wish I was in Aruba..
Boing, you're in Aruba. Unfortunately, she did not give you permission to be there and now you're in trouble for sexual assault of a transvestite.
I wish I was on the
island of Aruba, well stocked with good food and drink and surrounded by friendly, non-psychotic, non-zombie people.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 10, 2008, 07:18:12 AM
Boing, you're in Aruba. Unfortunately, she did not give you permission to be there and now you're in trouble for sexual assault of a transvestite.
I wish I was on the island of Aruba, well stocked with good food and drink and surrounded by friendly, non-psychotic, non-zombie people.
your wish comes true... you are in aruba, you have a fantastic oceanside lunch and cocktail with some really nice people, but get so sunburned during it that you spend the rest of your time there in your room, alone, shivering and crying.
i wish i didn't sunburn so easily 8)
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 10, 2008, 07:23:46 AM
your wish comes true... you are in aruba, you have a fantastic oceanside lunch and cocktail with some really nice people, but get so sunburned during it that you spend the rest of your time there in your room, alone, shivering and crying.
i wish i didn't sunburn so easily 8)
ping, you don't sunburn at all. in fact, the tanned leather you call skin is so think and tough it is bullet proof. however, it makes life hard as people think you are a walking beef jerky and women find your skin horribly repulsive. you have to exfoliate hourly or you can't move any of your joints due to leather build-up.
i wish i could teleport myself or anything else perfectly to anywhere and back.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 10, 2008, 07:42:20 AM
i wish i could teleport myself or anything else perfectly to anywhere and back.
Granted, but your stay in any one place is limited to just 4.2 seconds.
I wish I could start my day without coffee!
Quote from: tommys67 on July 10, 2008, 07:59:33 AM
Granted, but your stay in any one place is limited to just 4.2 seconds.
I wish I could start my day without coffee!
[laugh] granted, but now you must start your day with haloperidol administered by these guys in white with a giant horse needle. they loosen the straight jacket before shooting you up.
i wish this thread hadn't jumped the shark.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 10, 2008, 09:27:52 AM
[laugh] granted, but now you must start your day with haloperidol administered by these guys in white with a giant horse needle. they loosen the straight jacket before shooting you up.
i wish this thread hadn't jumped the shark.
granted...the thread didn't jump the shark, it screwed the pooch
I wish I had more Woodchuck Cider
Quote from: faolan01
I wish I had more Woodchuck Cider
Granted. You have all the woodchuck cider that could chuck wood BUUUUUUT, it flows freely out the front end of a giant tranny called Bubba-Charlene.. and it´s bitter.
I wish I hadn´t had soooo much beer tonight
Quote from: NuTTs on July 10, 2008, 06:21:03 PM
Granted. You have all the woodchuck cider that could chuck wood BUUUUUUT, it flows freely out the front end of a giant tranny called Bubba-Charlene.. and it´s bitter.
I wish I hadn´t had soooo much beer tonight
granted, you had no beer tonight. nor will you ever have beer again due to a bizzar medical condition that causes your throat to swell shut at the slightest hint of alcohol.
I wish my bike was paid off so I could spend the money on mods and track days
Poof! Your bike is paid off, but it's stolen the next day, after you forgot to renew your insurance.
I wish i didn't have to go to work tomorrow.
Quote from: krolik on July 10, 2008, 11:05:52 PM
Poof! Your bike is paid off, but it's stolen the next day, after you forgot to renew your insurance.
I wish i didn't have to go to work tomorrow.
You don't, because you were fired yesterday for gross incompetence. Turns out you're unemployable.
I wish I was CEO of a big successful multinational with a fantastic pay package and a nice multimillion dollar severance package if things go bad....
Quote from: BWClark on July 10, 2008, 11:36:21 PM
I wish I was CEO of a big successful multinational with a fantastic pay package and a nice multimillion dollar severance package if things go bad....
Granted, but you're Richard Corey (http://www.bartleby.com/104/45.html)
I wish I had an Orgasmatron, from the movie
Sleeper.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 11, 2008, 12:55:25 AM
I wish I had an Orgasmatron, from the movie Sleeper.
you have one in your bedroom, that you use 3 times a day, alone.
the device has made you impotent, and has given you perma-grin.
i wish my fiancée had a 998 instead of a triumph
Quote from: DuCaTiNi on July 11, 2008, 02:47:56 AM
you have one in your bedroom, that you use 3 times a day, alone.
the device has made you impotent, and has given you perma-grin.
i wish my fiancée had a 998 instead of a triumph
Your wish is my command.. [poof], your fiancee has a 998.. that is painted metalflake pink and has a SV650 engine and was converted into a trike as a birthday present.
I wish I was enjoying a snow cone right now
Quote from: NuTTs on July 11, 2008, 04:25:27 AM
I wish I was enjoying a snow cone right now
Abra-ca-frickin-dabra! Here's your snow cone, pee flavored like from the Jackass movie or whatever. I can't believe you're enjoying that. Gross.
I wish I had prepared Nutts's snow cone...
Granted. You have your snow cone. Unfortunatly you can't eat it because your face is a swollen bloody mess and need it as an ice pack instead. That's what you get for destroying a pristine 998 and turning it into a trike.
I wish I had a steak breakfast.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 11, 2008, 04:42:22 AM
I wish I had a steak breakfast.
Granted, you have a steak breakfast with a pee flavored snow cone on the side that I prepared for Nutts and you. It's melted a little and run around the steak. I hope that's cool.
I wish porschaholic would turn on his "Notify me of posts during reply" warning so he could play this game better.... [roll]
[cheeky]
Quote from: NuTTs on July 11, 2008, 04:25:27 AM
Your wish is my command.. [poof], your fiancee has a 998.. that is painted metalflake pink and has a SV650 engine and was converted into a trike as a birthday present.
I wish I was enjoying a snow cone right now
you've got your snowcone... but you're eating it at the north pole and it's -80°F, all you are wearing is a
pink speedo ;D
i wish i had a beach house to share with my friends, dmfers and family.
somewhere where the climate is ALWAYS spectacular, no hurricanes or big storms.
there is a full time chef and bartender, and an endless supply of good food and cocktails.
Quote from: BWClark on July 11, 2008, 04:41:49 AM
Abra-ca-frickin-dabra! Here's your snow cone, pee flavored like from the Jackass movie or whatever. I can't believe you're enjoying that. Gross.
I wish I had prepared Nutts's snow cone...
Your wish is granted. After enjoying downing all sorts of liquids to add more flavor to my snow cone.. you pee´d the most pink and acidic pee that pretty much melted your hands away and what was left of the snow cone. Your weener is left smoking also.
I wish I was 6´5"
Quote from: DuCaTiNi
you've got your snowcone... but you're eating it at the north pole and it's -80°F, all you are wearing is a pink speedo ;D
i wish i had a beach house to share with my friends, dmfers and family.
somewhere where the climate is ALWAYS spectacular, no hurricanes or big storms.
there is a full time chef and bartender, and an endless supply of good food and cocktails.
Your wish is granted. We are ALL in your 70sq.ft beach house in deep Alaska.. the summers and winters are spectacular. You have a full time hunk of a chef called Bruno and bartender Clifford (the big red dog) who spit in the food and glasses before serving that endless supply of rotten good food and cock tails (with feathers and all).
I wish I wasn´t so evil (that´s for the pink speedo, which I do have and keep along with my leopard skin print speedo)
Quote from: porschaholic on July 11, 2008, 04:42:22 AM
Granted. You have your snow cone. Unfortunatly you can't eat it because your face is a swollen bloody mess and need it as an ice pack instead. That's what you get for destroying a pristine 998 and turning it into a trike.
I wish I had a steak breakfast.
Your wish is granted, you have a big and juicy 50oz gorilla butt rump served by another gorilla who duly sodomizes you. (pink 998 duc trikes are cool)
I wish my body fat index was at my old 11% instead of the 90% I´m at right now
Quote from: NuTTs on July 11, 2008, 06:03:42 AM
I wish my body fat index was at my old 11% instead of the 90% I´m at right now
Granted. Now that all that remains of your body is your severed head connected to life support, you've got very little body fat compared to other tissue...
I wish I could slow down and speed up time at will.
You can.... But Will ends up be pissed about it and toilet papers your house.
I wish my back would stop itching.
Quote from: bobspapa on July 11, 2008, 07:50:43 AM
You can.... But Will ends up be pissed about it and toilet papers your house.
I wish my back would stop itching.
Your back no longer itches. This is primarily due to the new burning sensation, but that's what happens when you mess around with lighter fuild.
I wish the duc dealer gave out a loaner duc (full size, new, operational) to me when I bring mine in for service like Lexus does.
Quote from: DCXCV on July 11, 2008, 08:15:58 AM
Your back no longer itches. This is primarily due to the new burning sensation, but that's what happens when you mess around with lighter fuild.
I wish the duc dealer gave out a loaner duc (full size, new, operational) to me when I bring mine in for service like Lexus does.
he does, but it's a Ducati branded Dodge K-car.
I wish Carrie Fisher was still good looking.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 11, 2008, 09:54:05 AM
he does, but it's a Ducati branded Dodge K-car.
I wish Carrie Fisher was still good looking.
She is.... but because you have now lowered your standards..... you start voting Dem
I wish I had a swimming pool filled with cool refreshing water, here at work.
You have the pool, but in the refreshing waters are man eating crocodiles that guard the pool with and unending fury. You cannot go within 10 feet of the pool.
I wish I was at Happy Hour already
Quote from: bryant8 on July 11, 2008, 10:27:13 AM
You have the pool, but in the refreshing waters are man eating crocodiles that guard the pool with and unending fury. You cannot go within 10 feet of the pool.
I wish I was at Happy Hour already
poof - you are laid off from your job at the fudge packing factory and now spend all your days at the bar, "happy hour" is all day for you.. you don't even bother to get up to pee.
i wish we could have a re-do of the writing of the Constitution [evil]
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 11, 2008, 10:38:20 AM
poof - you are laid off from your job at the fudge packing factory and now spend all your days at the bar, "happy hour" is all day for you.. you don't even bother to get up to pee.
i wish we could have a re-do of the writing of the Constitution [evil]
poof.... Obama wins
I wish I had a real Iron Man suit
Quote from: bobspapa on July 11, 2008, 10:42:54 AM
I wish I had a real Iron Man suit
Granted. You have the only real Iron Man suit in existence. Unfortunately, you are required to have your heart shot in order to wield the suit. You do it yourself and miss and now your lung has collapsed. Good job, doofus.
I wish my allergies weren't so bad....
Quote from: Monsterlover on June 28, 2008, 05:01:00 PM
I stole this from the 675 board. Seems fun.
"The purpose is to make a wish, but have the next poster grant it, but corrupt it (eg. poster1: I wish my feet had jet engines in them, poster2: granted, but you can't turn them off). He in turn can make a new wish."
Ill start.
I wish I had a Hypermotard.
Granted, you have a Hypermotard.
I wish I knew how to play this game.
Quote from: BizarroBob on July 11, 2008, 11:44:28 AM
Granted, you have a Hypermotard.
I wish I knew how to play this game.
Doh! He ruined it! Now we're going to have to start over.... :(
I wish we didn't have to start over.
Quote from: jclin on July 11, 2008, 01:17:03 PM
Doh! He ruined it! Now we're going to have to start over.... :(
I wish we didn't have to start over.
We don't but now you are the love slave of Carrot Top.
I wish Halle Berry was my love slave.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 11, 2008, 01:20:28 PM
We don't but now you are the love slave of Carrot Top.
I wish Halle Berry was my love slave.
Granted.... kind of. The wish granter is dyslexic, and now Barry Hale is your love slave.
I wish for one red fish and one blue fish
Quote from: bobspapa on July 11, 2008, 01:49:14 PM
Granted.... kind of. The wish granter is dyslexic, and now Barry Hale is your love slave.
I wish for one red fish and one blue fish
You got 'em. And in a few months you're gonna have few hundred purple fish.
I wish I could find my oil pan.
Quote from: SacDuc on July 11, 2008, 01:52:18 PM
I wish I could find my oil pan.
Granted. You discover it lodged in your appendix.
I wish life wasn't empty and meaningless.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 11, 2008, 02:06:56 PM
Granted. You discover it lodged in your appendix.
I wish life wasn't empty and meaningless.
granted.... but it's meaning, is to be empty.
I wish the skin on my bck would stop flaking off
Quote from: bobspapa on July 11, 2008, 02:14:27 PM
granted.... but it's meaning, is to be empty.
I wish the skin on my bck would stop flaking off
Granted but it's your excess back hair that is holding it on.
I wish they never canceled Silver Spoons.
Quote from: Ducatiloo on July 11, 2008, 03:29:52 PM
Granted but it's your excess back hair that is holding it on.
I wish they never canceled Silver Spoons.
granted..... but now the entire cast is played by the cast of the View
I wish Blondie would play in Bakersfield
Quote from: bobspapa on July 11, 2008, 03:32:15 PM
granted..... but now the entire cast is played by the cast of the View
I wish Blondie would play in Bakersfield
Granted but Deborah Harry chokes to death on a substance that looks like back hair.
I wish a was a Vampire.
I wish I knew where all my back hair went... I was cultivating it.
Quote from: Ducatiloo on July 11, 2008, 03:39:18 PM
Granted but Deborah Harry chokes to death on a substance that looks like back hair.
I wish a was a Vampire.
you're a vampire.
but you can only survive by biting and sucking blood from obese peoples' asses.
i wish i could travel at near-light speed without a ship and would never age.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 11, 2008, 06:17:44 PMi wish i could travel at near-light speed without a ship and would never age.
Granted. Unfortunately, you handle like a drag car, and fly directly into a star.
I wish I could breathe in space.
Quote from: x136 on July 11, 2008, 06:32:36 PM
Granted. Unfortunately, you handle like a drag car, and fly directly into a star.
I wish I could breathe in space.
Granted, But space Sucks anyway and sucks the life right out of you.
I wish I had a 12" Wang
Quote from: CairnsDuc on July 11, 2008, 07:49:21 PM
Granted, But space Sucks anyway and sucks the life right out of you.
I wish I had a 12" Wang
You have a 12" wang, but it's inside out.
I wish I knew the things I know now back in highschool.
Quote from: DarkStaR on July 11, 2008, 08:04:47 PM
You have a 12" wang, but it's inside out.
I wish I knew the things I know now back in highschool.
You do but only because you still haven't graduated.
I wish Ruben Xaus never left the SBK and won the Championship last year.
Quote from: CairnsDuc on July 11, 2008, 07:49:21 PM
Granted, But space Sucks anyway and sucks the life right out of you.
I wish I had a 12" Wang
Be careful what you wish for, boy do you have it. Any time you get arroused the lack of blood causes you to black out, so you don't remember a thing.
Quote from: DarkStaR on July 11, 2008, 08:04:47 PM
You have a 12" wang, but it's inside out.
I wish I knew the things I know now back in highschool.
You do, but so do all the girls. Your advanced pick-up lines fail just as miserable as your HS ones did.
I wish every good wish in this thread are granted.
Quote from: sno_duc on July 11, 2008, 08:13:29 PMI wish every good wish in this thread are granted.
Every good wish in this thread is granted,
but with a terrible cost.I wish I had a free frogurt. With sprinkles.
Quote from: x136 on July 11, 2008, 08:52:52 PM
Every good wish in this thread is granted, but with a terrible cost.
I wish I had a free frogurt. With sprinkles.
Granted, but since I don't know what a frogurt is you get yogurt growing out of your hair follicles in long curvy strings. With sprinkles.
I wish I could go home now...
Quote from: Manny on July 11, 2008, 08:55:37 PM
Granted, but since I don't know what a frogurt is you get yogurt growing out of your hair follicles in long curvy strings. With sprinkles.
I wish I could go home now...
Granted. but your house has been destroyed by a freak Frogurt Explosion
I wish I had the body of a God!
Quote from: CairnsDuc on July 11, 2008, 09:46:18 PM
Granted. but your house has been destroyed by a freak Frogurt Explosion
I wish I had the body of a God!
Granted, now you don't exist.
I wish I could freeze time just long enough to punch people in the face (that piss me off), and then when time unfreezes, they will not know what happened. All they know is that their face feels like sh!t.
Quote from: CairnsDuc on July 11, 2008, 09:46:18 PM
Granted. but your house has been destroyed by a freak Frogurt Explosion
I wish I had the body of a God!
Granted but it's The God of Fertility.
I wish Red Bull made a Slush Puppy.
^ [bang] ^
Try again!
Quote from: DarkStaR on July 11, 2008, 10:03:58 PM
I wish I could freeze time just long enough to punch people in the face (that piss me off), and then when time unfreezes, they will not know what happened. All they know is that their face feels like sh!t.
Granted, but you keep breaking your fingers when you smash their frozen, unyielding faces.
I wish I could be a bigger asshole at work.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 12, 2008, 12:02:38 AM
I wish I could be a bigger asshole at work.
You now weigh 350lbs.
I wish I had one of them new iPhones.
Quote from: BWClark on July 12, 2008, 04:17:09 AM
You now weigh 350lbs.
I wish I had one of them new iPhones.
Granted.. but it´s lodged between your rectum and large intestine, you dirty dirty boy.
I wish the summer wasn´t so hot
Quote from: NuTTs on July 12, 2008, 05:34:59 AM
Granted.. but it´s lodged between your rectum and large intestine, you dirty dirty boy.
I wish the summer wasn´t so hot
nice cool summer granted.. but it's lodged between your rectum and large intestine...WTF?
i wish my riding buddy wasn't such a pussy and could tell his wife that he is riding today instead of moving furniture. around the living room
Granted, He tells his wife he's going riding. On a pocket bike. Enjoy your day in first gear with him.
I wish my gutters would clean themselves.
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 13, 2008, 11:59:32 AM
Granted, He tells his wife he's going riding. On a pocket bike. Enjoy your day in first gear with him.
I wish my gutters would clean themselves.
Granted: Your guitars are now fully sentient and can do shit to and for themselves. Unfortunately, this also means they tell you what they really think about your sorry-ass playing skills and demand equal rights and full union pay in order to be played.
Wish I had a full time team of servants to handle all the crap work in my life.
Granted. You have a full team of servants. One of them is the "Drunken Monkey" beater who kicks you ass for not knowing the difference between gutters, which handle rain water, and guitars, which make sounds. [laugh]
I still wish my gutters would clean themselves.
Granted. They clean themselves regularly. Problem is, you never know where they're going to put all the crap they clean out of themselves, but its always somewhere in your house. One week it shows up on your living room carpet. Next week, it drops out of the ceiling onto you while you're sleeping. Week after that, it ends up in your kitchen cabinets, all over the clean dishes.
I wish my bike didn't need an oil change and a rear tire.
Your wish is granted, but now you need a front tire, chain, and front sprocket.
I wish my doberman would stop barking
granted, it's hard to bark with a mouth full of your throat.
i wish there was more motorcycle racing on TV today
Granted. There is 5 different channels with bike racing on right now. Unfortunatly your TV shorts out, burns your house down, and takes your bike with it. But hey, you get to stay at a Holiday Inn Express tonight.
I wish I had more time.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 13, 2008, 01:20:10 PM
Granted. There is 5 different channels with bike racing on right now. Unfortunatly your TV shorts out, burns your house down, and takes your bike with it. But hey, you get to stay at a Holiday Inn Express tonight.
I wish I had more time.
Granted. You have more time, 5 minutes to be exact... before you´re locked up in your cell at the high security prison.
I wish bacon was low fat & low cholesterol.
Granted. Unfortunatly you don't have any taste buds. I wish it was Saturday.
ok, it's saturday. btw i hope you don't mind working sundays from now on.
i wiss my SO would stop watching law&order and give me the damn remote.
She changes the channel to Lifetime: Television for Idiots, pulls out the batteries, and hands you the remote.
I wish my family wasn't coming to visit this week.
Quote from: Obsessed? on July 13, 2008, 03:15:42 PM
I wish my family wasn't coming to visit this week.
Granted. They're moving in.
I wish I wasn't ticklish.
Granted, but now you've lost all sensation in your body. You burn your fingers, smash them in doors, and can't orgasm.
I wish for three more wishes...
You get the best three wishes you could have ever asked for.
I wish I could steal Laura's wishes.
You get Laura's wishes. Now her husband is bringing you flowers and breakfast in bed every day.
I wish my furniture could move itself.
Quote from: msincredible on July 13, 2008, 05:49:04 PM
You get Laura's wishes. Now her husband is bringing you flowers and breakfast in bed every day.
I wish my furniture could move itself.
granted, call my friends wife, she make it move... but please wait for a really nice weekend :P
http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=5955.msg113004#msg113004
i wish i had cooler friends
Granted. Now you have a poltergeise.
Wish I knew how to spell poltergeise.
Quote from: porschaholic on July 13, 2008, 05:53:21 PM
Granted. Now you have a poltergeise.
Wish I knew how to spell poltergeise.
Granted: Now you're constantly haunted by the voice of your 2nd grade teacher rattling off how to spell every work you think of. EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. YOU. THINK. OF.
I wish everything I did in my cad program actually affected reality. Like, say, the home remodel I'm doing was completed when I hit save. Ditto with the new headlight I'm designing.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 13, 2008, 11:12:46 PMI wish everything I did in my cad program actually affected reality. Like, say, the home remodel I'm doing was completed when I hit save. Ditto with the new headlight I'm designing.
Granted, but all of your input devices become wacky and unpredictable, and your CAD software saves randomly, so you end up with a make the beast with two backsed-up cubist-nightmare of a house, and an irregular pentagon shaped, unmountable headlight.
I wish I had
that software.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 13, 2008, 11:12:46 PM
Granted: Now you're constantly haunted by the voice of your 2nd grade teacher rattling off how to spell every work you think of. EVERY. SINGLE. WORD. YOU. THINK. OF.
I wish everything I did in my cad program actually affected reality. Like, say, the home remodel I'm doing was completed when I hit save. Ditto with the new headlight I'm designing.
Granted, from now on every time you hit save, it is turned into realility. In some other unit of measure, cubits, miles, milimeters, lightyears...............what happens is totally random.
I wish for nice sunny riding weather my next week off.
Granted! But the magic software doesn't run on any any computer yet invented.
I wish I had a license to kill.
Quote from: krolik on July 13, 2008, 11:30:59 PMI wish I had a license to kill.
It expired last week. :(
I wish my car ran. And could
fly. In a controlled manner, smartass.
Quote from: x136 on July 13, 2008, 11:37:26 PM
It expired last week. :(
I wish my car ran. And could fly. In a controlled manner, smartass.
It does, 1000 mpg, out run a F-16, but it only runs on " Greek Fire " and the last person who knew the formula died 2000 years ago [bang] [bang]
I wish there was intelligent life on this planet.
Only intelligent enough to wreck up the place, unfortunately.
I wish I'd gone to bed earlier, instead of now.
you can, but you wake up like the guy in this thread (http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=6992.0).
i wish i could afford all the mods i wanna do to my toys. (jeep, mr2, duc, ktm... everything i own needs mods)
Granted! It then turns out that oil based fuel is banned in the world and you end up with garden ornaments instead of toys. I wish that my golden retriever would take no what it means. >:(
Quote from: desmopr on July 14, 2008, 07:17:02 AM
I wish that my golden retriever would take no what it means. >:(
Granted..... the dog, is now the only one who knows what this means.
I wish I was going to Laguna Seca this weekend
Granted: You are now walking to Laguna Seca this weekend. Good luck making it before the races end.
I wish the world was filled with far fewer idiots.
Great! now everyone's a smart ass!!!!
I wish for a ride in the space shuttle.
Quote from: lauramonster on July 14, 2008, 09:41:48 AMI wish for a ride in the space shuttle.
You get a ride in the space shuttle... when it's sitting on the big tractor they cart it around with.
I wish the week was over. Yeah, already.
granted, but you time travel back to the day you asked for the wish.
I wish i had the ability to win the lottery any time i want.
Quote from: OwnyTony on July 14, 2008, 10:11:42 AM
granted, but you time travel back to the day you asked for the wish.
I wish i had the ability to win the lottery any time i want.
Granted, but 500 thousand other people had the same wish, the lottery system is bankrupt.
I wish I had Hooters Wings right now.
Quote from: Ducatiloo on July 14, 2008, 10:34:30 AM
I wish I had Hooters Wings right now.
Your arms are replaced with the wings of a small owl.
I wish to lack wishes.
Quote from: x136 on July 14, 2008, 10:45:15 AM
Your arms are replaced with the wings of a small owl.
I wish to lack wishes.
the wish granter thinks you are from Arkansas, and "lack" is just Arkansan for "like" so now you are enamored of wishes, you spend your days haunting birthday parties waiting to hear the candle wishes..
i wish i pooped small, gumball-sized 24k solid gold turds instead of regular fecal matter.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 14, 2008, 12:25:22 PM
i wish i pooped small, gumball-sized 24k solid gold turds instead of regular fecal matter.
Granted! You now poop small, painless, gumball-sized 24k gold turds. But you can't stop. It doesn't matter what you eat or how much you eat, you can't get off the toilet because you can't stop pooping. Price of gold drops to 1 dollar per ton.
I wish it was always sunny, 80F, no humidity in Seattle.... like today.
Quote from: jclin on July 14, 2008, 12:40:18 PM
Granted! You now poop small, painless, gumball-sized 24k gold turds. But you can't stop. It doesn't matter what you eat or how much you eat, you can't get off the toilet because you can't stop pooping. Price of gold drops to 1 dollar per ton.
I wish it was always sunny, 80F, no humidity in Seattle.... like today.
Ping, it is always 80F in Seattle. All of the ski mountains around you melt off and you are flayed and hanged by the locals who are out of work and the ski junkies who can't ski locally anymore.
I wish I pooped 24k solid gold gumball-sized turds in the same daily volume I now poop.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 14, 2008, 12:56:08 PM
Ping, it is always 80F in Seattle. All of the ski mountains around you melt off and you are flayed and hanged by the locals who are out of work and the ski junkies who can't ski locally anymore.
I wish I pooped 24k solid gold gumball-sized turds in the same daily volume I now poop.
granted.... there is now a gold rush to your ass. pick axes are involved.
I wish I had a cold beer right now
Quote from: bobspapa on July 14, 2008, 01:13:09 PM
granted.... there is now a gold rush to your ass. pick axes are involved.
I wish I had a cold beer right now
you have one -- it's minus 300 degrees F and lodged in your urethra.
i wish i had a wish machine.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 14, 2008, 01:23:44 PM
you have one -- it's minus 300 degrees F and lodged in your urethra.
i wish i had a wish machine.
granted..... it comes with 24/7 Al Gore back-up support...and it keeps breaking down.
I wish my urethra was larger
granted, but it is too big to get any use out of your... ummm... member
i wish i could get rid of my dumbass room mate.
Quote from: toaster on July 14, 2008, 01:29:10 PM
granted, but it is too big to get any use out of your... ummm... member
i wish i could get rid of my dumbass room mate.
granted... they are replaced by a smartass
I wish I had a pocket full of real cash
Quote from: bobspapa on July 14, 2008, 01:52:56 PM
granted... they are replaced by a smartass
I wish I had a pocket full of real cash
Granted, it is real cash, real Johnny Cash, and it smells awful as he has been dead for a while.
I wish my wife was healthy.
Ooohh man. I can't post a smart ass remark to that.
I think you just broke the game.
Granted. Your wife gets healthy. Unfortunately, she doesn't need you anymore, and leaves your ugly ass.
Resume.
Quote from: bobspapa on July 14, 2008, 01:27:43 PM
granted..... it comes with 24/7 Al Gore back-up support...and it keeps breaking down.
I wish my urethra was larger
Blast, I missed the boat! [Insert Candiru reference here]
I wish August wasnt National Catfish Month!
Its not. Now August is national Candiru month.
I wish I didn't have watch tomorrow.
Quote from: Obsessed? on July 14, 2008, 04:57:25 PM
I wish I didn't have watch tomorrow.
Congrats, you're fired. [thumbsup]
I wish my apartment would clean itself so I could focus on riding/fixing my bikes.
Quote from: Manny on July 14, 2008, 05:48:44 PM
Congrats, you're fired. [thumbsup]
I wish my apartment would clean itself so I could focus on riding/fixing my bikes.
Your appartment does "clean" itself but all the junk is thrown into the place you fix/store your bike to the point that you can not ride.
I wish my friends would get off their warcraft addiction.
Quote from: OwnyTony on July 14, 2008, 05:51:12 PM
I wish my friends would get off their warcraft addiction.
Granted. Now it's 24/7 Dora the Explorer in all of your friends' houses.
I wish I had beer in my fridge.
You do, but you can't drink it. One of your friends super glued an upside-down six-pack to the bottom shelf. Your fridge is now effectively 1/2 cu ft smaller and you can't even get to the tabs.
I wish my car weren't broken.
Quote from: Obsessed? on July 14, 2008, 05:59:32 PM
You do, but you can't drink it. One of your friends super glued an upside-down six-pack to the bottom shelf. Your fridge is now effectively 1/2 cu ft smaller and you can't even get to the tabs.
I wish my car weren't broken.
boing, your car is perfect now, but you develop hand, foot and mouth disease and can't touch anything with your hands or feet and can't drive.
i wish people who drive slow in the left lane developed anal hemorrhaging spontaneously.
granted, but they pass out and spew "butt blood" all over you as you ride past.
i wish i could get the mental image of the "butt blood" spewing all over ducatizzzz out of my head.
Granted, the image is out of your head, along with everything else, you're now in a permanent vegative state.
I wish my license to kill was not expired.
Quote from: krolik on July 14, 2008, 08:18:36 PM
I wish my license to kill was not expired.
Granted. Except now you "license to live" has been revoked.
I wish I could hold the image of tizzy being showered in hemorrhagic butt blood in my mind just a little bit longer.
Never mind, I just did ;D
I wish someone would settle the republican/democrat thing and just come up with a political ethos that just
worked
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 14, 2008, 09:48:24 PM
Granted. Except now you "license to live" has been revoked.
I wish I could hold the image of tizzy being showered in hemorrhagic butt blood in my mind just a little bit longer.
Never mind, I just did ;D
I wish someone would settle the republican/democrat thing and just come up with a political ethos that just worked
You're a sick make the beast with two backs!!
Ping, your wish is granted: Fascism is instituted in the USA, with all politics and economics decided by a self appointed junta of military elite. Everyone is happy, or else. Doubleplusgood!
I wish everyone here a nice day and may the road rise to you.
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 15, 2008, 06:01:50 AM
You're a sick make the beast with two backs!!
Ping, your wish is granted: Fascism is instituted in the USA, with all politics and economics decided by a self appointed junta of military elite. Everyone is happy, or else. Doubleplusgood!
I wish everyone here a nice day and may the road rise to you.
But both those things are only for today, From tomorrow on will be a world dictated by the military elite and they ban bikes.
I wish i were among the military elite.
Quote from: OwnyTony on July 15, 2008, 06:09:02 AM
But both those things are only for today, From tomorrow on will be a world dictated by the military elite and they ban bikes.
I wish i were among the military elite.
Ping, you are among the military elite, but it's a Socratic style military, so gay sex is required of you and you're a PFC and it's your turn in the barrel -- for this year.
I wish it was 1960 again.
Granted! But the 60s now is a parallel universe where the economy is shitty and its regimen is communist. I wish I'd own a microbrewery. [popcorn]
Quote from: desmopr on July 15, 2008, 06:31:07 AM
Granted! But the 60s now is a parallel universe where the economy is shitty and its regimen is communist. I wish I'd own a microbrewery. [popcorn]
Granted. Just to make things better George W. is in charge and decides "them bubbles in beer is dangerous because of nucular weapons" and starts brewing rootbeer instead.
I wish for 1000 wishes
Quote from: NuTTs on July 15, 2008, 06:44:38 AM
Granted. Just to make things better George W. is in charge and decides "them bubbles in beer is dangerous because of nucular weapons" and starts brewing rootbeer instead.
I wish for 1000 wishes
you have 1000 wishes. however, due to failing to file form 1245-WI, you now owe the IRS 999 wishes. looks like you better wish to have that wish revoked.
i wish i found a job that i enjoyed rather than jsut tolerated.
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 15, 2008, 08:51:15 AM
you have 1000 wishes. however, due to failing to file form 1245-WI, you now owe the IRS 999 wishes. looks like you better wish to have that wish revoked.
i wish i found a job that i enjoyed rather than jsut tolerated.
You do find a job you enjoy, but the people that work there do not tolerate you so you are forced to leave the same day.
I wish that my wish for something positive could not be corrupted.
Granted, but there's so many great things to wish for, you can't decide and spend eternity in contemplation.
I wish [bacon] could be dispensed the same way paper towels in restrooms are 8)
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 15, 2008, 04:15:29 PM
Granted, but there's so many great things to wish for, you can't decide and spend eternity in contemplation.
I wish [bacon] could be dispensed the same way paper towels in restrooms are 8)
poof, it is, but like many places, the [bacon] is peed on and the pee has dried by the time you get some.
i wish i could relive my college years with nothing weird happening except that i don't pine over the loss of my beautiful girlfriend from high school and spend the 4 years chasing girls who looked like her.
*ding* You don't pine over the loss of your beautiful HS girlfriend. In fact, you reject the fairer sex altogether. Instead of spending 4 years trying to date girls who look like her you spend 4 years trying to date men who look like her father.
I wish 3 am weren't so near.
Quote from: Obsessed? on July 15, 2008, 04:23:20 PM
*ding* You don't pine over the loss of your beautiful HS girlfriend. In fact, you reject the fairer sex altogether. Instead of spending 4 years trying to date girls who look like her you spend 4 years trying to date men who look like her father.
I wish 3 am weren't so near.
some of these corrupted wishes are so off.
Whassat? ???
Cryin' "uncle?" ;D [evil]
3AM is a long way off because it's 6:30PM now but U missed that Job inteview at 5PM where U get paid a million a year Just to Change Casey Stoners tires.
I wish I had a new bike every 6 months.
Quote from: Obsessed? on July 15, 2008, 05:41:58 PM
Whassat? ???
Cryin' "uncle?" ;D [evil]
nope, just too nonsequitor to be funny that's all..
Quote from: MendoDave on July 15, 2008, 06:31:44 PM
I wish I had a new bike every 6 months.
Poof! You have a new bike every 6 months, unfortunately they're all made by Schwinn.
I wish my employer gave me 6 weeks of vacation off every year.
You have 6 weeks of vacation per year, but you're so overworked the only thing you can do is sleep for the entire time.
I wish I had the power to read minds.
Done, But everyone else already had the ability to do that and that is the new established way of communicating. Now you know that people think of you as a retard for developing so slow.
I wish I could make bacon materialize and eat it when ever I want.
Quote from: OwnyTony on July 15, 2008, 10:37:41 PMI wish I could make bacon materialize and eat it when ever I want.
Too easy. It's turkey bacon.
I wish I had a lovely bunch of coconuts.
Quote from: x136 on July 15, 2008, 10:43:14 PM
Too easy. It's turkey bacon.
I wish I had a lovely bunch of coconuts.
KAZAAM!! your wish is granted but, them coconuts are hanging downstairs (if you know what I mean) and now ALL the monkeys in the area want a piece.
I wish I could decide on my next motorbike!
Quote from: NuTTs on July 16, 2008, 06:32:16 AM
KAZAAM!! your wish is granted but, them coconuts are hanging downstairs (if you know what I mean) and now ALL the monkeys in the area want a piece.
I wish I could decide on my next motorbike!
You decide to get the ugliest, slowest, least fuel efficient poorest handling and non mod-able motorized bike.
I wish I had the ability to fix anything.
with your Midas touch, you fix everything you touch, and as you walk out of the room it breaks. Careful with the wife tonight ;D
I wish toastie would re-appear!!
Quote from: lauramonster on July 16, 2008, 08:32:31 AM
with your Midas touch, you fix everything you touch, and as you walk out of the room it breaks. Careful with the wife tonight ;D
I wish toastie would re-appear!!
He does, when you realize that he has been hiding up you.....You see where this is going. It is through hours of rectal pushing that he finally shows himself to everyone on the dmf.
I wish I rode my bike today
You rode your bike today but then a garbage truck accidentaly loaded it up in the back and smashed it. It was then that you realized your insurance ran out.
I wish I had really good coverage insurance that cost me nothing.
Quote from: MendoDave on July 16, 2008, 10:41:46 AM
I wish I had really good coverage insurance that cost me nothing.
Your significant other is sick and tired of paying for your insurance, hence you get no Christmas presents this year.
I wish I could wake up without coffee. [coffee]
Quote from: Manny on July 16, 2008, 10:58:56 AM
I wish I could wake up without coffee. [coffee]
You wake up in the morning with no coffee in the house, and all the baristas in town are on strike.
I wish all women found me to be so insanely sexy that they all wanted me!! [evil]
Quote from: ryandalling on July 16, 2008, 11:14:34 AM
You wake up in the morning with no coffee in the house, and all the baristas in town are on strike.
I wish all women found me to be so insanely sexy that they all wanted me!! [evil]
Granted, the non-stop endless string of hot babes has left you no time for BACON,beer,bike riding, sleep or even basic hygene. The closest you get to a shower is doing it in a hot tub.
I wish all the telemarketers in the world had to endure half the wishes on this thread. ( quess which half, have another sno-cone [evil])
Quote from: sno_duc on July 16, 2008, 11:27:52 AM
Granted, the non-stop endless string of hot babes has left you no time for BACON,beer,bike riding, sleep or even basic hygene. The closest you get to a shower is doing it in a hot tub.
I wish all the telemarketers in the world had to endure half the wishes on this thread. ( quess which half, have another sno-cone [evil])
Graanteeed, all the telemarketers in the world have endured untold amounts of physical and mental abuse and can take no more!! And can´t eat one more sno-cone (you bastards corrupted my snow cone).
They are now door to door salami and vibrator sales people who hound your neighbourhood.
I wish I never got married
Quote from: NuTTs on July 16, 2008, 02:05:08 PM
Graanteeed, all the telemarketers in the world have endured untold amounts of physical and mental abuse and can take no more!! And can´t eat one more sno-cone (you bastards corrupted my snow cone).
They are now door to door salami and vibrator sales people who hound your neighbourhood.
I wish I never got married
poof..... you werent, gay marriage was not legal back when you got hitched.
I wish it was Sunday
Quote from: bobspapa on July 16, 2008, 02:16:13 PM
I wish it was Sunday
Poof... it's Sunday night and you have to go to sleep now and prepare for a nice long Monday at work.
I wish it were Friday.
Quote from: ryandalling on July 16, 2008, 03:48:38 PM
I wish it were Friday.
Poof, it's Friday. But your town is now orthodox Jewish and everything is closed tomorrow, and you are expected to not use a motor vehicle of any kind.
I wish the red-tape associated with going to school was as easy to deal with as the classes/assignments. :P
Done; the red tape is now gone. But the only classes available are in monocolor needlepoint.
I wish my Sidi boots didn't squeak.
Quote from: triangleforge on July 16, 2008, 04:42:17 PM
Done; the red tape is now gone. But the only classes available are in monocolor needlepoint.
I wish my Sidi boots didn't squeak.
They don't, but the oil is rotting the flesh from your feet.
I wish I had new plastic sliders for my Sidi boots.
<offtopic>
Quote from: sno_duc on July 16, 2008, 11:27:52 AM
Granted, the non-stop endless string of hot babes has left you no time for BACON,beer,bike riding, sleep or even basic hygene. The closest you get to a shower is doing it in a hot tub.
This is called CORRUPT a wish. I think you failed. I really do wish that the only baths/showers I took is with hot women in a hot tub......
</offtopic>
Quote from: Manny on July 16, 2008, 04:53:45 PM
I wish I had new plastic sliders for my Sidi boots.
Granted, master! You now have sliders that connect to the bottom of your Sidi boots. They are made of plastic and teflon. Consequently, you can't stand your bike up unless you are perfectly balanced, which means you can't even get it upright from the kickstand.
I wish I had a center kickstand on my Monster.
Quote from: Manny on July 16, 2008, 04:53:45 PM
They don't, but the oil is rotting the flesh from your feet.
I wish I had new plastic sliders for my Sidi boots.
You got 'em. But you lose both of your feet in a freak accident at the zoo involving three wombats and a large woman dressed in olive green.I wish I could forget the taste of chickory. ;)[edit]
I wish that I could type faster than jclin and that his center kick stand for his monster would be only a single post mounted right in line with teh wheels.
Bastard.
sac
Quote from: SacDuc on July 16, 2008, 04:59:50 PM
You got 'em. But you lose both of your feet in a freak accident at the zoo involving three wombats and a large woman dressed in olive green.
I wish I could forget the taste of chickory. ;)
[edit]
I wish that I could type faster than jclin and that his center kick stand for his monster would be only a single post mounted right in line with teh wheels.
Bastard.
Granted. Sorry, I'm hard of hearing. Plus I was going through a tunnel. Did I get it right?
I wish sac didn't hate me :'(
Quote from: triangleforge on July 16, 2008, 04:42:17 PM
I wish my Sidi boots didn't squeak.
<since you people can't stay on topic anyway>
Spray the vertebra with Plexus and it stops the squeak.
</since you people can't stay on topic anyway>
Quote from: jclin on July 16, 2008, 05:12:19 PM
Granted. Sorry, I'm hard of hearing. Plus I was going through a tunnel. Did I get it right?
I wish sac didn't hate me :'(
I love you. :-* I want you to come over so I can rub you with lavendar scented oils.
I wish my wife would come back from LA so I could stop writing naughty things to jclin.
sac
Quote from: SacDuc on July 16, 2008, 05:26:05 PM
I wish my wife would come back from LA so I could stop writing naughty things to jclin.
Granted, master. She's back in your arms, but discovers the oils and jclin's picture. At first, she's intrigued, but now she wants a threesome. And jclin's ugly (I am... really) .. and a guy (edited, because I realize how gay I'm sounding, but I'm tired so screw you).
I wish I was attractive.
Quote from: jclin on July 16, 2008, 05:28:58 PM
Granted, master. She's back in your arms, but discovers the oils and jclin's picture. At first, she's intrigued, but now she wants a threesome. And jclin's ugly (I am... really).
I wish I was attractive.
You're make the beast with two backsing gorgeous. But only briefly to internet guys pining for their wives to return. And also to your soulmate who will see all the beauty that is you, both inner and outer. But that person died in a wombat related incident several posts ago.
I wish I could choose how drunk to stay, yet keep drinking as much as wanted to.
sac
Quote from: jclin on July 16, 2008, 04:59:13 PM
<offtopic>This is called CORRUPT a wish. I think you failed. I really do wish that the only baths/showers I took is with hot women in a hot tub......
</offtopic>
Granted, master! You now have sliders that connect to the bottom of your Sidi boots. They are made of plastic and teflon. Consequently, you can't stand your bike up unless you are perfectly balanced, which means you can't even get it upright from the kickstand.
I wish I had a center kickstand on my Monster.
<offtopic> He had nothing but hot women, no Bacon, no beer, no riding Ducati's, no sleep........... nothing but bonking 24/7............. even Bacon would get old if it was all you had </ offtopic>
Quote from: sno_duc on July 16, 2008, 06:24:42 PM
<offtopic> He had nothing but hot women, no Bacon, no beer, no riding Ducati's, no sleep........... nothing but bonking 24/7............. even Bacon would get old if it was all you had </ offtopic>
<offtopic> Hot women <> bacon </offtopic>
Quote from: SacDuc on July 16, 2008, 05:35:46 PM
I wish I could choose how drunk to stay, yet keep drinking as much as wanted to.
Granted. You keep drinking water.
I wish my job paid better.
Quote from: jclin on July 16, 2008, 06:35:23 PM
<offtopic> Hot women <> bacon </offtopic>Granted. You keep drinking water.
I wish my job paid better.
poof, your job now pays $1 mil /year, but your new duties are Official Elephant Shit Pie Taster for the rare and endangered Algerian maggot which the local zoo is trying to breed and can only survive on elephant poo.
I wish my house would clean itself in a non weird way (i.e. no flying stuff and no poltergeists)
Quote from: ducatizzzz on July 16, 2008, 06:44:00 PM
I wish my house would clean itself in a non weird way (i.e. no flying stuff and no poltergeists)
Bing, you now live with Mary Poppins, who helps you clean your house in a fun and non-weird way. But you have to endure the singing. Your wife comes home to find you living with another woman...
I wish that all snakes in CO would suddenly disappear. I HATE f'in snakes. >:(
Sorry about the chicory, Sac. You can always feed it to your family, or take it to the office, or put cream/sugar in it like normal people do... [cheeky]
Quote from: Manny on July 16, 2008, 07:51:30 PM
Bing, you now live with Mary Poppins, who helps you clean your house in a fun and non-weird way. But you have to endure the singing. Your wife comes home to find you living with another woman...
I wish that all snakes in CO would suddenly disappear. I HATE f'in snakes. >:(
Sorry about the chicory, Sac. You can always feed it to your family, or take it to the office, or put cream/sugar in it like normal people do... [cheeky]
Abracadabra! The snakes from CO are now gone but, all the snakes from the neighbouring states have invaded CO and started multiplying rabbit style. You now have a snake invasion in CO.. you get bitten by a viper.. in your crotch and the only cure is for Pee Wee Herman and the Red Power Ranger to suck the venom out, s-l-o-w-l-y.
I wish A-Team re-runs were on daytime tv again, I´m so f-kin bored.
they do come on during the day, but you are too busy helping manny chase the snakes outta his place to ever get to watch.
i wish piranha were legal to own in texas.
Quote from: toaster on July 17, 2008, 08:37:07 AM
they do come on during the day, but you are too busy helping manny chase the snakes outta his place to ever get to watch.
i wish piranha were legal to own in texas.
They are but, the local restaurants and their clientele have taken a liking to their delicate yet sweet flesh. Pirañas are now extinct.
I wish I hadn´t wished manny all those snakes
What, you think they're there just because you wished it? Nah, it's just his karma. Your wish never happened, but he's still up to his ass in adders.
I finally got the damn gutters and water tank installed with monsoon rains pouring down my back, and now it's dry as a bone. I wish it would rain!
Quote from: triangleforge on July 17, 2008, 11:56:12 AM
I wish it would rain!
It rains for 7 straight days... your gutters are the only thing dry... your house floats away.
I wish the hair on my head would grow back.
It does grow back, but the only place they could harvest plugs for the transplant was from your crotch.
I wish I had a boat.
Poof, you now have hair on your scalp! Unfortunately you now have no eyebrows. You now have to pencil in your emotionless face with dry erase markers.
I wish my wife would lighten the F up.
Quote from: triangleforge on July 17, 2008, 12:02:59 PM
It does grow back, but the only place they could harvest plugs for the transplant was from your crotch.
I wish I had a boat.
This ones too easy!
Poof, you get a boat.
You now long for the second happiest day of a boat owners life.I wish my wife would lighten the F up!
Poof, your wish is granted, your wife looses weight but shes pregnant dogier than ever.
I wish I beer was free for everybody of age.
Quote from: OwnyTony on July 17, 2008, 12:26:43 PM
Poof, your wish is granted, your wife looses weight but shes pregnant dogier than ever.
I wish I beer was free for everybody of age.
Beer (in a loose sense of the word) is now free. But it's all PBR. [puke]
I wish I would win the Powerball (it would help if I'd actually buy a ticket).
So does everyone else in America. Your share of the winnings is less than the cost of your ticket.
I wish PBR beer tasted better.
SHAZZAM! PPR tastes as good as Boont Amber. Unfortunately, trendy bars in Brooklyn start charging $5 a can. Oh wait, that already happens...
I wish I was a rock and roll god...
Quote from: triangleforge on July 17, 2008, 02:26:19 PM
SHAZZAM! PPR tastes as good as Boont Amber. Unfortunately, trendy bars in Brooklyn start charging $5 a can. Oh wait, that already happens...
I wish I was a rock and roll god...
You are. But in the original meaning of the term. You are the most famous person ever to whore himself out in the back of strangers cars.
I wish I had boat and I wish I had a pony I would ride upon my boat (make the beast with two backsing Julia Roberts would be nice too ;) ).
sac
Poof, you now have an 18 hand Tennessee Walking Horse and a 14' John Boat, you do the math. Julia is on the shore, dry and laughing at you.
I wish Jenny Mcarthy would dump Jim Carrey and come hang out with me. Or Amy Nicolini, the annoying tap dancing weather girl from NYC.....I dig them both.
Quote from: rgramjet on July 17, 2008, 02:46:08 PM
Poof, you now have an 18 hand Tennessee Walking Horse and a 14' John Boat, you do the math. Julia is on the shore, dry and laughing at you.
I wish Jenny Mcarthy would dump Jim Carrey and come hang out with me. Or Amy Nicolini, the annoying tap dancing weather girl from NYC.....I dig them both.
Granted, given the choice between you and her, Jenny dumps Jim for Amy tapdancer girl. They both dig each other. No videos ever surface, though.
I wish the moon could be turned red, like Mars. Then maybe some other colors every couple years.
Quote from: DCXCV on July 17, 2008, 03:26:06 PM
Granted, given the choice between you and her, Jenny dumps Jim for Amy tapdancer girl. They both dig each other. No videos ever surface, though.
I wish the moon could be turned red, like Mars. Then maybe some other colors every couple years.
Granted, but the new colors cause a worldwide zombie epidemic.
I wish zombies wouldn't eat my brain.
Quote from: krolik on July 17, 2008, 06:51:53 PMI wish zombies wouldn't eat my brain.
They sniff your head, shrug their shoulders, and move on, looking for food.
I wish I had a zombie horde at my command.
Got yer zombie horde right here -- unfortunately, it's the wrong kind and all they do is lay around all day playing video games and watching endless re-runs of Maximum Exposure. The bill for Doritos and Mountain Dew bankrupts you.
I wish our adorable but nearly blind, senile old dog would stop barking at his own poop.
Granted... he stops barking at his own poop and starts seeing shadow creatures over at the neighbors causing him to go over there and bark at the neighbors house, in their yard. The neighbors hate this.
I wish my dog wouldn't bark up at the neighbors.
You dog no longer barks at the neighbors, he bites them instead. This results in a huge lawsuit and you lose all your stuff.
I wish my dog's feet didn't smell like Fritos.
Quote from: krolik on July 18, 2008, 01:56:28 PM
You dog no longer barks at the neighbors, he bites them instead. This results in a huge lawsuit and you lose all your stuff.
I wish my dog's feet didn't smell like Fritos.
They don't. But you now know that they
taste like Fritos.
I wish I didn't live in am 1100sqft house with a wife that wants a Great Dane.
sac
You dont. You just moved into a 650 sq ft place with the great dane.
I wish I didn't live in a 650 Sq ft place with My wife, a lab, and a Mini Aussi. Oh wait, I don't cause I lost all my stuff
Quote from: SacDuc on July 18, 2008, 01:58:34 PM
They don't. But you now know that they taste like Fritos.
I wish I didn't live in am 1100sqft house with a wife that wants a Great Dane.
sac
Poof, now you live in an 800 sqft apartment with a wife, two kids, a Great Dane, 2 Chihuahuas, a cat and a parakeet.
I wish my wife's crazy boss would retire.
Quote from: krolik on July 18, 2008, 02:04:09 PM
Poof, now you live in an 800 sqft apartment with a wife, two kids, a Great Dane, 2 Chihuahuas, a cat and a parakeet.
I wish my wife's crazy boss would retire.
He does. The only think is that before he does, he fires all the women in the company.
I wish I had a cold delicious and edible beverage right now.
Quote from: OwnyTony on July 18, 2008, 02:24:28 PM
I wish I had a cold delicious and edible beverage right now.
Granted. You know have a nice cold Mexican-made Coca-Cola (They're better than the ones from Atlanta. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor). Oh no, a bat has flown up your ass for no apparent reason, and now you get a rude colonic every time it tries to fly.
I wish that ALL of the participants of this thread could corrupt a wish in an intelligent, comical way instead of resorting to something going up someone's ass, which doesn't really pertain to the original wish.
Quote from: jclin on July 18, 2008, 03:00:23 PM
Granted. You know have a nice cold Mexican-made Coca-Cola (They're better than the ones from Atlanta. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor). Oh no, a bat has flown up your ass for no apparent reason, and now you get a rude colonic every time it tries to fly.
I wish that ALL of the participants of this thread could corrupt a wish in an intelligent, comical way instead of resorting to something going up someone's ass, which doesn't really pertain to the original wish.
Granted. Small fish invade your urethra.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru)
I wish you all a good night.
"you all" got a good night, but not me. That was disgusting to read. Blech!!!
I wish a beer for everyone, and whoever wanted one gets 2!!!!
Granted, and I've had my beer, the neighbors, and whoever else wasn't drinking them. Sorry, can't corrupt my own wish - sue me!!!
I wish SKom some satisfaction with the attackers. I wish they're thrown in jail, and brutalized.
Quote from: lauramonster on July 18, 2008, 08:09:31 PM
I wish SKom some satisfaction with the attackers. I wish they're thrown in jail, and brutalized.
Granted, the bastards are in jail being brutalized as we speak. But they can't make it to court because of unchecked rectal bleeding, so the court date is postponed, delaying SKOM's sense of satisfaction at having caught the bastards.
I wish I had a nice espresso machine. Not one of those automatic pieces of crap, but a nice Italian one with high pressure and a real handle. And a nice slow electric burr grinder.
Granted, but it hasn't been cleaned in a year.
I wish I had a working motorcyle
Quote from: vampireduc on July 19, 2008, 09:43:29 PM
Granted, but it hasn't been cleaned in a year.
Brutal.
Quote from: vampireduc on July 19, 2008, 09:43:29 PM
I wish I had a working motorcyle
Poof! You have a working, 500lb 51cc moped in powder pink. (Hey, anything over 51cc is technically a "motorcycle")
I wish I was immune to hangovers.
You are immune to hangovers as well as any positive benefits of alcohol consumption. While all of your former friends are getting drunk, crazy, and laid, you remain stone sober and safety oriented. You must change your forum name to Party Pooper Monkey.
I wish all humanity could communicate only by means of grunts, farts, and belches thus making me the most articulate poet on the planet.
Quote from: Johnny OrganDonor on July 20, 2008, 07:53:50 AM
You are immune to hangovers as well as any positive benefits of alcohol consumption. While all of your former friends are getting drunk, crazy, and laid, you remain stone sober and safety oriented. You must change your forum name to Party Pooper Monkey.
I wish all humanity could communicate only by means of grunts, farts, and belches thus making me the most articulate poet on the planet.
Welcome to Brooklyn.
I wish the grantor of my wish got double of everything I wished for.
Quote from: silentbob on July 20, 2008, 08:37:52 AM
Welcome to Brooklyn.
I wish the grantor of my wish got double of everything I wished for.
Granted. I now have 2 swedish bikini teams living with me and making non-stop love to me all day long, whilst those not occupied in the bedroom are cooking, cleaning and just making me feel like a god.
I wish my wish would never end. [popcorn]
You just think you wish would never end. You last for exactly 2.5 days. Making love to 12 girls per day.....riding the wave of the Calvin Coolidge Effect. Finally you are so dehydrated, you end up in the hospital. The girls try to visit you but you end up having to put a chair up against the door to keep them from coming in.
Your new wish is for them to stop.
I wish my next door neighbor was hot and had a pool...
Granted. And she sunbathes topless. Her jealous boyfriend catches you staring and beats you til you cry "uncle".
I wish a good, cheap haircut for IZ (so that htread will die...).
Granted, though the haircut is performed with radioactive scissors, causing all the hair to fall out anyway. Oops.
I need another ride. I wish the weekend continued tomorrow.
granted, but since the weekend came early this week, the rest of your year is thrown off by 4 days and you never get to have a "weekend" off at the same time as your riding buddys, plus it rains.
i wish i could read minds.
Quote from: toaster on July 21, 2008, 06:41:57 PM
i wish i could read minds.
Poof. You can read minds. The banality of everyone's thoughts drives you insane and you become one of those homeless dudes having a conversation with nobody.
I wish I could successfully make games of chance obey my every whim. Control the roll of the dice, outcomes of sporting events, etc.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 21, 2008, 07:45:59 PM
I wish I could successfully make games of chance obey my every whim. Control the roll of the dice, outcomes of sporting events, etc.
Granted! But Vegas & the rest of the casino industry quickly catches on to you, you're permanently banned from all gambling establishments, and you can no longer ride because of the broken knees and broken hands from the beatings by the goons who were sent to "teach" you a lesson.
i wish krolik was smart enough to participate in this thread and post a wish of his own.
Quote from: toaster on July 21, 2008, 09:07:07 PM
i wish krolik was smart enough to participate in this thread and post a wish of his own.
Granted! Unfortunately his wish involves you doing something to him that we should never speak of.
I wish I was better at office politics. Or barring that, I wish I could kill people with my mind.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on July 21, 2008, 10:48:57 PM
I wish I was better at office politics. Or barring that, I wish I could kill people with my mind.
Happy un-birthday! You can now kill people with your mind. Unfortunately, the power is difficult to control and you find yourself killing people around you at the slightest hint of stress. After killing 4 co-workers (the good ones, mind you) at one go while trying to fart discreetly, you quit your job and move to the hills of Nevada where you spend the rest of your life eating dandelion soup and trying to learn to control your farts and the destructive power that comes with them.
I wish I had a car with decent fuel economy. And an air conditioner, dammit. And a radio that played NPR and the BBC reliably. And decent seat belts . . . :P
Quote from: Manny on July 21, 2008, 11:03:39 PM
I wish I had a car with decent fuel economy. And an air conditioner, dammit. And a radio that played NPR and the BBC reliably. And decent seat belts . . . :P
Your wish is my command, Manny! You now have a car with an air conditioner and a radio that plays NPR and BBC perfectly, unfortunately, it's missing its clutch which is why it gets such good fuel economy (get out and push, and stop wishing for four things at once [evil]). Still, go ahead and turn the engine on and enjoy the air conditioner (it is evil since you wanted me to damn it. It smells of sulfur when you turn it on) and radio (the volume knob doesn't work, and it is set to zero volume). Oh, and the seat belts? They work fine, but only the back seats have them.
Whew! That was tough.
I wish this thread wasn't dying.
Granted it's being given a new life....by the TOB
I wish Red Bull Motogp Indy was this weekend.
It is, but you're grounded and can't leave the house.
Im ready for this thread to die. I wish someone would put up a poll to decide if i should lock it [laugh]
Quote from: Monsterlover on July 22, 2008, 01:56:28 PM
It is, but you're grounded and can't leave the house.
Im ready for this thread to die. I wish someone would put up a poll to decide if i should lock it [laugh]
My mom said I could go!!
Granted but no one votes to lock it.
I wish somone would do my 6k valve inspection for me.
You got it -- his name's Cletus, and his first words are "How much diffrunt could it be than mah Shovelhead?"
I wish I had more of this sweet iced tea.
(And I don't recall a living will for this thread -- just 'cause there's no sign of brain activity is no reason to pull the plug!)
Quote from: triangleforge on July 22, 2008, 02:39:00 PM
You got it -- his name's Cletus, and his first words are "How much diffrunt could it be than mah Shovelhead?"
I wish I had more of this sweet iced tea.
(And I don't recall a living will for this thread -- just 'cause there's no sign of brain activity is no reason to pull the plug!)
Granted but it's warm and you're out of ice.
I wish Cletus would get off my porch >:(
Quote from: Ducatiloo on July 22, 2008, 02:56:04 PM
Granted but it's warm and you're out of ice.
I wish Cletus would get off my porch >:(
Cletus gets off your porch as he´s taken over every square inch of it in semi-solid diarrhea and he slid off the end.. in fact so did you and everyone else who tried getting into or out of your house as Cletus shat all over your house also.
I wish this thread new life
It has new life but Ducatiloo still wants to kill it.
I wish I had a new 848 and a new Motard.
Quote from: MendoDave on July 22, 2008, 03:20:33 PM
It has new life but Ducatiloo still wants to kill it.
I wish I had a new 848 and a new Motard.
Talk to Monsterlover about that >:(
Granted you have a new 848 and Motard but while on their virgin trips you discover you only had the shipping oil in the the engines
I wish Stoner didn't hit the sand last Sunday
Quote from: Ducatiloo on July 22, 2008, 03:40:31 PM
Talk to Monsterlover about that >:(
Granted you have a new 848 and Motard but while on their virgin trips you discover you only had the shipping oil in the the engines
I wish Stoner didn't hit the sand last Sunday
In your universe he didn't hit the sand, but he actually did hit the sand and came in second.
I wish Bacon came in an extra Bacon flavor.
Quote from: MendoDave on July 22, 2008, 05:13:49 PM
In your universe he didn't hit the sand, but he actually did hit the sand and came in second.
I wish Bacon came in an extra Bacon flavor.
Bacon now comes in an Extra Bacon flavor, but all bacon is now in the form of Beggin Strips for dogs.
I wish I could act.
Quote from: DucDucDave on July 22, 2008, 06:37:41 PM
Bacon now comes in an Extra Bacon flavor, but all bacon is now in the form of Beggin Strips for dogs.
I wish I could act.
Poof, (pardon the pun) you can act!! You play the lead role in La Cage au Faux and win an oscar for the The Life and Times of Freddy Mercury, not that theres anything wrong with that.
I wish my new Au Pair is as smokin as my current Au Pair, the changing of the guards occurs this Saturday after 2 great years...
Quote from: rgramjet on July 22, 2008, 08:40:12 PM
Poof, (pardon the pun) you can act!! You play the lead role in La Cage au Faux and win an oscar for the The Life and Times of Freddy Mercury, not that theres anything wrong with that.
I wish my new Au Pair is as smokin as my current Au Pair, the changing of the guards occurs this Saturday after 2 great years...
Granted but for some reason her fugly Mother came to make sure she won't be corrupted by the America.
I wish when ever someone posted the work "smokin" it was required to post photographic proof for the DMF to judge [laugh]
Quote from: rgramjet on July 22, 2008, 08:40:12 PM
Poof, (pardon the pun) you can act!! You play the lead role in La Cage au Faux and win an oscar for the The Life and Times of Freddy Mercury, not that theres anything wrong with that.
I wish my new Au Pair is as smokin as my current Au Pair, the changing of the guards occurs this Saturday after 2 great years...
OT but my mine isn´t too bad.. my neighbour got a smokin hot one from Brittany, bastard. [laugh]
Quote from: Ducatiloo on July 22, 2008, 10:16:26 PM
I wish when ever someone posted the work "smokin" it was required to post photographic proof for the DMF to judge [laugh]
Granted, but they can only post the proof over on TOB and include a NSFW link here. Traffic there goes through the roof, the Canadians make billions and get the last laugh.
I wish I could write the novel that would leave critics saying "Hemingway? Who was that?"
Quote from: NuTTs on July 23, 2008, 07:11:55 AM
OT but my mine isn´t too bad.. my neighbour got a smokin hot one from Brittany, bastard. [laugh]
OT I get high fives from the dads at my pool and dirty looks from the moms because my au pair wears a freakin tonga cut bikini. Not quite a thong, but magically transforms into one at times.....brings a tear to my eye. :'(
Quote from: rgramjet on July 23, 2008, 09:20:18 AM
OT I get high fives from the dads at my pool and dirty looks from the moms because my au pair wears a freakin tonga cut bikini. Not quite a thong, but magically transforms into one at times.....brings a tear to my eye. :'(
Sounds like you guys need to start a new thread [popcorn]
Poof you write the greatest novel ever written for all the spans of time, sadly it only sells 2 copies, due to the decline of basic education, when the students are told my their mentor to write a review on book that in his mind is the second coming of Hemingway, they say huh Hemingway?
I wish I could eat Bacon and eggs for breakfast every day for the rest of my long life.
Quote from: rgramjet on July 23, 2008, 09:20:18 AM
OT I get high fives from the dads at my pool and dirty looks from the moms because my au pair wears a freakin tonga cut bikini. Not quite a thong, but magically transforms into one at times.....brings a tear to my eye. :'(
OT I´m off to the pool right now.. summer is killing me. [bang] [bang] [laugh]
Quote from: Ducatiloo on July 23, 2008, 09:27:34 AM
Sounds like you guys need to start a new thread [popcorn]
Poof you write the greatest novel ever written for all the spans of time, sadly it only sells 2 copies, due to the decline of basic education, when the students are told my their mentor to write a review on book that in his mind is the second coming of Hemingway, they say huh Hemingway?
I wish I could eat Bacon and eggs for breakfast every day for the rest of my long life.
Poof, you can eat bacon and eggs everyday for the rest of your life. Unfortunatly you have developed a rare venerial disease on your tounge that makes everything taste like poop.
I wish for more fruit salad
Poof, all the Restaurants in and around your neighborhood specialize in Fruit salad now. Even the fast food joints did away with hamburgers and have fried fruit salads with apple fries. Glad I don't live near you.
I wish the California Coastal Commision wasn't such a pain in the ass.
Quote from: MendoDave on July 23, 2008, 12:36:13 PM
Poof, all the Restaurants in and around your neighborhood specialize in Fruit salad now. Even the fast food joints did away with hamburgers and have fried fruit salads with apple fries. Glad I don't live near you.
I wish the California Coastal Commision wasn't such a pain in the ass.
The California Coastal Commision is no longer a pain in the ass, it's a throbbing pole in the ass.
I wish for whirled peas.
Quote from: krolik on July 23, 2008, 09:35:03 PM
The California Coastal Commision is no longer a pain in the ass, it's a throbbing pole in the ass.
I wish for whirled peas.
Granted... by a dyslexic chef who reads "whirled piss". He thoroughly drenches you with his golden rain.
I wish for a pint ´o John Smith´s [drink]
Quote from: NuTTs on July 24, 2008, 11:29:16 AM
Granted... by a dyslexic chef who reads "whirled piss". He thoroughly drenches you with his golden rain.
I wish for a pint ´o John Smith´s [drink]
Granted! John Smith comes out and pees in a pint glass for you.
I wish I had a Klondike bar.
granted, but in the klondike bar way of doing things (you know, "what would you do for a klondike bar?"), the only way to get one is that you have to have your jaw wired shut.
i wish i could get off work early and go home.
Quote from: toaster on July 24, 2008, 02:04:05 PM
granted, but in the klondike bar way of doing things (you know, "what would you do for a klondike bar?"), the only way to get one is that you have to have your jaw wired shut.
i wish i could get off work early and go home.
You get off early and go home, only to find that your inlaws have showed up to stay with you for a 3 day weekend.
I hope I pass my written motorcycle endorsement test tomorrow. Missed it by 1 on the first try :'(
Quote from: Stu Pedasso on July 24, 2008, 02:42:27 PM
You get off early and go home, only to find that your inlaws have showed up to stay with you for a 3 day weekend.
I hope I pass my written motorcycle endorsement test tomorrow. Missed it by 1 on the first try :'(
you pass your written part of the test, but fail the riding part, even if its not required in your state, you still fail.
i wish i could figure out whats wrong with my bike... it makes me angry.
ps. no inlaws yet, and the woman is going out of town this weekend, leaving tomorrow afternoon.
You figure out what's wrong with your bike & it's you! No hope for fixing that! ;D
I wish I had a never ending supply of fresh guacamole.
Quote from: krolik on July 24, 2008, 11:50:31 PM
You figure out what's wrong with your bike & it's you! No hope for fixing that! ;D
I wish I had a never ending supply of fresh guacamole.
You have, but nothing to wash it down with.
I wish I had more time on weekends for riding
Granted. You're fired!!!
I wish track days were simpler, logistically.
Quote from: lauramonster on July 25, 2008, 09:02:41 AM
Granted. You're fired!!!
I wish track days were simpler, logistically.
they are, but now everyone is doing it so you don't actually get to ride with any speed.
i wish i could start drinking at lunch.
You can drink anytime you want, without anyone being any the wiser. But you are also not wiser for it and it shows in your work. Since they can't detect your drinking they just think you are an idiot. And you are required to send me a brew each time you indulge before 5pm.
I wish every government employee who perpetuates the red-tape machine would have 1000 pus-filled painful boils on their asses and genitalia for as long as they continue to work in that awful occupation. make the beast with two backsers hanging on John Galt's train trying to slow it down ... >:(
Granted, but since John Galt is fictional so is your wish.
I wish that the cops would ticket bicyclists, just as they do all other vehicle. * Updated to fit the spirit of the thread
Quote from: Ducatiloo on July 25, 2008, 09:55:40 AM
Granted, but since John Galt is fictinal so is your wish.
I wish that I didn't hate Trek employees with a passion.
[off topic]
what do you have against them?
i happen to think they make fine bikes.
[/off topic]
My feelings can found here http://ducatimonsterforum.org/index.php?topic=6739.0.
Quote from: KnightofNi on July 25, 2008, 09:05:49 AM
they are, but now everyone is doing it so you don't actually get to ride with any speed.
i wish i could start drinking at lunch.
I wish I didn't have to sign onto a world wide board just to talk to a friend....
Granted but now you have to call a 800 number.
I wish they made a diet Whopper, that was the same size and taste of the original Whopper.
Quote from: Ducatiloo on July 26, 2008, 07:10:00 PM
Granted but now you have to call a 800 number.
I wish they made a diet Whopper, that was the same size and taste of the original Whopper.
Granted, but it's made of horse penis.
I wish I had a photographic memory.
Quote from: Sgt_H on July 26, 2008, 08:33:08 PM
Granted, but it's made of horse penis.
I wish I had a photographic memory.
Boom! You have a photographic memory! Everytime you want to remember something pleasant, you have to take 5 minutes remembering in slow motion detail, every ug chick youve ever been with. The tastes, the smells the sounds are all in HD detail. All the hot chicks are in black and white and last for one minute each.
I wish I didnt have a photographic memory!!
Granted. You can't remember shit - but you're blissfully happy!!! Every day you wake up is wonderful and you can't wait to see what you'll forget next!!!
I wish the rocks for the rock wall would gather themselves in the yard.
Quote from: lauramonster on July 27, 2008, 11:03:08 AM
Granted. You can't remember shit - but you're blissfully happy!!! Every day you wake up is wonderful and you can't wait to see what you'll forget next!!!
I wish the rocks for the rock wall would gather themselves in the yard.
The rocks do gather themselves in the yard, for a secret meeting at midnight planning a good, old fashioned stoning in which you are to participate tomorrow.
Laura... don´t...go...into...the...yard!!!!
I wish dog owners in my neighborhood didn´t let their dogs piss on my tires.. actually I wish all those dogs couldn´t piss, shit, vomit or excrete any substance be it solid or liquid down my street and a good 10mile radius around my home.
Quote from: NuTTs on July 27, 2008, 03:55:11 PM
The rocks do gather themselves in the yard, for a secret meeting at midnight planning a good, old fashioned stoning in which you are to participate tomorrow.
Laura... don´t...go...into...the...yard!!!!
I wish dog owners in my neighborhood didn´t let their dogs piss on my tires.. actually I wish all those dogs couldn´t piss, shit, vomit or excrete any substance be it solid or liquid down my street and a good 10mile radius around my home.
After swelling to an unbelievable size all the dogs in your neighborhood explode and level every house leaving nothing standing but you. You, standing there covered in a shit/piss/dog entrail soup suit wishing that you had been just kind enough to allow the dogs to show their appreciation for your items.
I wish that I could see who is pulling my puppet strings.
Quote from: lethe on July 27, 2008, 03:59:52 PM
After swelling to an unbelievable size all the dogs in your neighborhood explode and level every house leaving nothing standing but you. You, standing there covered in a shit/piss/dog entrail soup suit wishing that you had been just kind enough to allow the dogs to show their appreciation for your items.
I wish that I could see who is pulling my puppet strings.
You look up and you see.. me ;D
I got you to write the last post as I thought it was kinky.
I wish those dogs DIDN´T explode and cover me in shite
Quote from: NuTTs on July 27, 2008, 04:12:07 PM
You look up and you see.. me ;D
I got you to write the last post as I thought it was kinky.
I wish those dogs DIDN´T explode and cover me in shite
Ok, they exploded an covered you in waki, which according to Wikipedia is.. The waki (脇, ワキ) performs the role that is the counterpart or foil of the shite
Not sure exactly how that'll turn out instead but it can't be good.
I wish that I was one of those puppets that get controlled by sticks from beneath instead of your pesky strings.
I'm setting myself up for a real good corruption here
Quote from: lethe on July 27, 2008, 04:18:33 PM
Ok, they exploded an covered you in waki, which according to Wikipedia is.. The waki (脇, ワキ) performs the role that is the counterpart or foil of the shite
Not sure exactly how that'll turn out instead but it can't be good.
I wish that I was one of those puppets that get controlled by sticks from beneath instead of your pesky strings. I'm setting myself up for a real good corruption here
Poof (literally), [laugh] those wonderful sticks have penetrated every orifice of your limp, helpless body and are manipulating you thoroughly (man this is like s&m.. asking for pain)
I wish I was far far away from you when you were being poked and moved around by those sticks.
Quote from: NuTTs on July 27, 2008, 06:17:25 PM
Poof (literally), [laugh] those wonderful sticks have penetrated every orifice of your limp, helpless body and are manipulating you thoroughly (man this is like s&m.. asking for pain)
I wish I was far far away from you when you were being poked and moved around by those sticks.
Poof! You are far far away from him, but you're a puppet too, the kind with a hand up inside it.
I wish that VS hadn't bought the old DML.
Poof they didn't buy the old DML. Instead the owners and mods just got tired of running it and shut it down. Now we are all on BARF & Ducati MS.
I wish I had air conditioned riding gear to wear in the summer.
Granted!! But the additional weight of the HVAC system is very uncomfortable and hurts your ass after only ten miles. I wish my cat's automatic litter box would really work.
Quote from: desmopr on July 29, 2008, 06:53:48 PM
Granted!! But the additional weight of the HVAC system is very uncomfortable and hurts your ass after only ten miles. I wish my cat's automatic litter box would really work.
Granted! But the automated litter box scares the shit out of your cat. Litterally, and into your riding boots.
I wish that Spidey didn't hate boobies.
Quote from: krolik on July 29, 2008, 08:36:58 PM
Granted! But the automated litter box scares the shit out of your cat. Litterally, and into your riding boots.
I wish that Spidey didn't hate boobies.
Granted! Spidey Loves Boobies... Yours! And now you can't keep him away from you. He's constantly following you around and trying to look in your windows to see your man boobies.
I wish I could see female college cheerleader boobies whenever I wanted.
Quote from: Sgt_H on July 30, 2008, 07:49:17 PM
I wish I could see female college cheerleader boobies whenever I wanted.
Granted. Every time you want, the nearest cheerleader shows you her boobies, but for some reason, every cheerleader you encounter either weighs 90 lbs. or is 300 lbs. Finally, one girl is pissed that she has to show her breasts and decides to beat you with them. You die what should be a glorious death...but really it's just sad.
I wish I wasn't so drunk...
Poof! You're no longer drunk, just horribly hung over.
I wish Fry a "Happy Birthday!"
Granted, Fry has a happy birthday and ends up with an BEAUTIFUL lady in bed which he remembers having sex with her in the dark. But when he wakes up she is really a he with a pee pee.
I wish i could have perfect semesters for the next 2.5 years of college and meet great friends and really cool and pretty girls....who dont have penises
Quote from: He Man on August 12, 2008, 09:42:53 PM
I wish i could have perfect semesters for the next 2.5 years of college and meet great friends and really cool and pretty girls....who dont have penises
Granted, you have an awesome time in divinity school, being total chaste and hanging out with the equally chaste (and cool & pretty) nuns.
I wish they'd shit can my boss due to incompetence. Oh wait, That happened today ;D
I wish I had more time to work on my bike.
Quote from: Drunken Monkey on August 12, 2008, 09:49:42 PM
Granted, you have an awesome time in divinity school, being total chaste and hanging out with the equally chaste (and cool & pretty) nuns.
I wish they'd shit can my boss due to incompetence. Oh wait, That happened today ;D
I wish I had more time to work on my bike.
granted, but now your bike is transformed into an '01 M600...and the only tools you have are SAE allen wrenches.
i wish i had a g/f that combined all the great traits of all of my ex girlfriends, with none of the bad ones.
Quote from: McKraut on August 13, 2008, 05:19:45 AM
i wish i had a g/f that combined all the great traits of all of my ex girlfriends, with none of the bad ones.
Granted. Your best friend just had a sex change and now he's a she. You make a cute couple.
I wish that for 24 hours I had:
access to a track
the courage to ride to my limit
the ability to learn to ride beyond my limit
the balls to exceed the new limit
....and to not miss ever being able to ride like that again :-\
Granted, you now have testicles...
I wish I had enough money to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted...
Quote from: NAKID on August 13, 2008, 08:18:57 PM
Granted, you now have testicles...
I wish I had enough money to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted...
Granted, but a zombie apocalypse just started and now all your money is better used to keep warm at night.
I wish I could see into the future.
you can, but in the future you see yourself as a sad lonely man with a bmw motorcycle and no home.
i wish the wife would let me get a cool pet... like a snake.
She goes and pics a Boa out for you, the same day she takes a million dollar life insurance policy out on you. Snake gets out one night while your sleeping..you know where this is going...
I wish the fridge was always full of good food that I didn't have to buy.
Quote from: MendoDave on August 14, 2008, 10:59:16 AM
She goes and pics a Boa out for you, the same day she takes a million dollar life insurance policy out on you. Snake gets out one night while your sleeping..you know where this is going...
I wish the fridge was always full of good food that I didn't have to buy.
granted, but every time you open the door, an excruciating electrical current shocks the shit out of you so much that you lose your appetite.
i wish the weather was perfect in dallas all year 'round instead of 1 month out of the year.
It is, they re-name the city San Diego and all of Southern California moves there.
I wish I was knee deep in a trout stream with a fly rod in my hand.
Oh, you're in a trout stream, but that aint water you're standing in.
I wish the title for my new bike would show up so I can go take it away from it's current owner.
Quote from: Monsterlover on September 01, 2008, 05:19:44 PM
Oh, you're in a trout stream, but that aint water you're standing in.
I wish the title for my new bike would show up so I can go take it away from it's current owner.
The title shows up tomorrow, but you're in a car wreck on the way to get the new bike and lose both of your arms.
I wish I had the money to finish college and flight school.
Quote from: NAKID on August 13, 2008, 08:18:57 PM
Granted, you now have testicles...
[laugh] [laugh] [laugh] [laugh]
Can't believe this little gem went unnoticed.
Quote from: Timmy Tucker on September 01, 2008, 06:19:02 PM
The title shows up tomorrow, but you're in a car wreck on the way to get the new bike and lose both of your arms.
I wish I had the money to finish college and flight school.
Granted
But now you cant get a job because all the planes have been updated and you aren't current anymore.
I wish the last bit of my attic would insulate itself.
Quote from: Mendo Dave on February 23, 2016, 03:49:16 PM
I wish the last bit of my attic would insulate itself.
Granted.
Your attic is now insulated with several families of possums.
I still wish I had the money to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Quote from: NAKID on February 23, 2016, 04:31:52 PM
Granted.
Your attic is now insulated with several families of possums.
I still wish I had the money to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Granted. It's all Monopoly money. You can do whatever with it, whenever you want.
I wish all of you a very happy birthday.
Granted.
We do and we ALL like to celebrate our respective birthdays by doing the ring-and-run prank at your house at 2am. Complete with the requisite burning bag of dog poop at your doorstep. You fall for it each and every time.
I wish my car wasn't rusting away from the inside out.
Quote from: Oldfisti on February 25, 2016, 03:32:58 PM
I wish my car wasn't rusting away from the inside out.
Granted.
Your car is now rusting from the outside in.
I wish a had a motorcycle for each type of riding.
Quote from: NAKID on February 25, 2016, 04:14:37 PM
Granted.
Your car is now rusting from the outside in.
I wish a had a motorcycle for each type of riding.
Granted. You have a motorcycle for every known form of riding and competition.
However, you have hemorrhoids the size of the Moon and sitting without your special doughnut pillow causes excruciating pain.
I wish my wife's sister wasn't so hot and drunk.
Granted.
She's a hirsute Slavic powerlifter with a unibrow and gets real handsy when she sobers up.
I wish I was hanging out with your wife's hot, drunk sister.
Quote from: Oldfisti on February 25, 2016, 05:02:31 PM
I wish I was hanging out with your wife's hot, drunk sister.
Granted. Only the reason she's hot is because of the massive and multiple sexually transmitted infections she's suffering from.
I wish the people I work with weren't incompetent.
Quote from: NAKID on February 25, 2016, 05:05:11 PM
Granted. Only the reason she's hot is because of the massive and multiple sexually transmitted infections she's suffering from.
I thought the point of this thread was to corrupt my wish, not make it come true.
Quote from: NAKID on February 25, 2016, 05:05:11 PM
I wish the people I work with weren't incompetent.
Granted.
You're now unemployed.
I wish someone would throat-punch Kanye today.
Bam....I did, but now he can sing, which only makes him more famous.
I wish my poo was worth billions of pesos.
Granted - You have been transformed into a rare South American bat that eats gold deposits. Unfortunately your life span is now 1 month.
I wish I had a collection of fast Italian vehicles
Poof! You now own an amazing collection of classic and modern prototype high-end Italian sports cars and it is universally recognized as the finest collection of cars on the entire continent of Antarctica.
I wish that I were normal.
Granted. You are now perfectly normal for an 87 y.o. Grandmother of 31 living in Iceland.
I wish I had a crystal ball so I could see the future...
Granted. And now you'll get to foresee every mistake you'll make from here on out and won't be able to do a damn thing about it.
I wish it was Spring Break already and I could get a week away from students.
Quote from: triangleforge on February 26, 2016, 08:35:57 AM
Granted. And now you'll get to foresee every mistake you'll make from here on out and won't be able to do a damn thing about it.
I wish it was Spring Break already and I could get a week away from students.
POOF.. Granted. You are now in a maximum security prison and someone spiked the water with viagra.
I wish this election season was over so we could BOHICA already.
zzzaapdingggg! Your wish is granted; howver, due to a highly polarized electorate and a series of unprecedented constitutional challenges before an evenly split Supreme Court, President Kanye and Vice President Bieber are sworn into office.
Following the election, I wish that could be granted political asylum on a beautiful island populated super-model native women that have low standards.
Quote from: Johnny OrganDonor on February 26, 2016, 10:31:36 AM
zzzaapdingggg! Your wish is granted; howver, due to a highly polarized electorate and a series of unprecedented constitutional challenges before an evenly split Supreme Court, President Kanye and Vice President Bieber are sworn into office.
Following the election, I wish that could be granted political asylum on a beautiful island populated super-model native women that have low standards.
Ding dong.. Your wish is granted.
You get political asylum on said island. The incredibly beautiful native women all have horribly low standards. So low, in fact, that you are generally considered out of their reach and they all are with guys that look like Ron Jeremy. On a bad day. Moreover, you don't speak the language and their dialect is so alien sounding that when you speak English to them, you sound mentally retarded.
I wish I had telekinesis.
Quote from: ducatiz on February 26, 2016, 11:47:58 AM
Ding dong.. Your wish is granted.
You get political asylum on said island. The incredibly beautiful native women all have horribly low standards. So low, in fact, that you are generally considered out of their reach and they all are with guys that look like Ron Jeremy. On a bad day. Moreover, you don't speak the language and their dialect is so alien sounding that when you speak English to them, you sound mentally retarded.
I wish I had telekinesis.
Granted, however every object you try to move ends up hurtling towards your forehead at the speed of a decent fast ball.
I wish I was a little bit taller.
Quote from: Monsterlover on February 27, 2016, 08:29:49 AM
Granted, however every object you try to move ends up hurtling towards your forehead at the speed of a decent fast ball.
I wish I was a little bit taller.
granted, but as a result of your 7'6" stature, you no longer fit in your bed, or your house.
i wish i still lived in colorado.
Your new home is Wray, Colorado - has the added benefit of being just a short walk to either Nebraska or Kansas.
(Monsterlover is lucky, you were too easy on him, I would've added 16" to his neck to give him his desired gain in stature)
I wish that I have read and fully understood all of the volumes of the Britannica Great Books of the Western World
Quote from: Johnny OrganDonor on February 27, 2016, 03:14:48 PM
Your new home is Wray, Colorado - has the added benefit of being just a short walk to either Nebraska or Kansas.
(Monsterlover is lucky, you were too easy on him, I would've added 16" to his neck to give him his desired gain in stature)
I wish that I have read and fully understood all of the volumes of the Britannica Great Books of the Western World
Granted, but you have no one to talk to about it as you're the last living human.
I wish I knew what I was thinking when I started this thread 8 years ago.
Being superstitious, you were hoping that you would never make the 666th [evil] reply.
I wish that I could reach a state of full Zen enlightenment and had no desire to wish for anything
Granted, only you've also become part of someone else's wish. They needed you to be an organ donor for them. Right now. They needed everything. Sorry.
I wish I could fly.
Boo-Bam! Your wish is granted.
You can now fly. In fact, you are a fly.
I wish I would bowl a 300 game today.
Granted - You bowl a perfect 300 using your nose to press the bowl button on your phone app. You are using your nose as you lost both arms after an altercation with a machete wielding midget who was offended when you bowled 113 and beat their 112.
I wish I had enough money to only work 1 day a week.
Quote from: Needle99 on February 28, 2016, 03:25:42 PM
Granted - You bowl a perfect 300 using your nose to press the bowl button on your phone app. You are using your nose as you lost both arms after an altercation with a machete wielding midget who was offended when you bowled 113 and beat their 112.
I wish I had enough money to only work 1 day a week.
Granted! You're a billionaire. But that one day? You spend it fending off the IRS, PTA, and all the other leeches who want a piece of your pie.
I wish I hadn't bought a 100 year old "fix-er-upper"
Quote from: herm on February 29, 2016, 08:56:28 PM
Granted! You're a billionaire. But that one day? You spend it fending off the IRS, PTA, and all the other leeches who want a piece of your pie.
I wish I hadn't bought a 100 year old "fix-er-upper"
Bing-bang! Your wish is granted.
You now have a brand new house...
(http://www.troop989.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Refrigerator-Box-1.jpg)
I would really love a back rub right now.
Quote from: Oldfisti on March 01, 2016, 05:11:27 PM
Bing-bang! Your wish is granted.
You now have a brand new house...
(http://www.troop989.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Refrigerator-Box-1.jpg)
I would really love a back rub right now.
Granted, Mamma June is on her way.
I wish I could shoot electricity from my finger tips.
Zap! Your fingertips now shoot lightening bolts. Unfortunately, you now find that essential hygiene practices (washing your hands, picking your nose, etc) can be lethal and you fall into such a disgusting state that no one will ever come close enough to you to be in lightening bolt range.
I wish my fingers had a vibrate function that I could control.
Granted. Your fingers have been removed and are now sold in adult stores.
I wish Rick Astley was born mute.
Quote from: Needle99 on March 03, 2016, 03:30:47 AM
Granted. Your fingers have been removed and are now sold in adult stores.
I wish Rick Astley was born mute.
brrring! He was born mute and you've saved millions from being rick-rolled. Only, now as a fluke, YOU are the singer for singing Never Gonna Give You Up and everyone on the planet hates you except Rick Astley who sends you selfies and dick pix on a weekly basis.
I wish I owned a starship like the Millenium Falcon and could fly anywhere in the galaxy.
Quote from: ducatiz on March 03, 2016, 09:35:25 AM
brrring! He was born mute and you've saved millions from being rick-rolled. Only, now as a fluke, YOU are the singer for singing Never Gonna Give You Up and everyone on the planet hates you except Rick Astley who sends you selfies and dick pix on a weekly basis.
I wish I owned a starship like the Millenium Falcon and could fly anywhere in the galaxy.
Congratulations, she's yours! But now you have the a corrupt, evil government, dog the bounty hunter, and some obese payday loan guy trying to break both your legs for some unpaid parking tickets at the international space station.
I wish that my driveway wasn't a big mud puddle.
Quote from: herm on March 03, 2016, 09:42:50 PM
Congratulations, she's yours! But now you have the a corrupt, evil government, dog the bounty hunter, and some obese payday loan guy trying to break both your legs for some unpaid parking tickets at the international space station.
I wish that my driveway wasn't a big mud puddle.
The pavers came and finished your driveway off with concrete. Unfortunately the company is owned by the Mafia and now you pay them protection money every week.
I wish Dave wished for something.
Quote from: Oldfisti on March 04, 2016, 03:12:30 PM
I wish Dave wished for something.
Dave's not here...
Quote from: Oldfisti on March 04, 2016, 03:12:30 PM
I wish Dave wished for something.
I wish Bick all the Nings in the world.
Presto! Your wish is granted.
Bick has ALL the nings in the world.
By some strange alignment in the planets it's actually Freaky Friday today. You and Bick have traded bodies.
I wish for world peace.
Quote from: Oldfisti on March 04, 2016, 05:56:47 PM
Presto! Your wish is granted.
Bick has ALL the nings in the world.
By some strange alignment in the planets it's actually Freaky Friday today. You and Bick have traded bodies.
I wish for world peace.
Duh..ohh!
Quote from: Oldfisti on March 04, 2016, 05:56:47 PM
Presto! Your wish is granted.
Bick has ALL the nings in the world.
By some strange alignment in the planets it's actually Freaky Friday today. You and Bick have traded bodies.
I wish for world peace.
Ka-bang! Wish granted.
Except you were misheard and you got whirled peas.
That's like pea paste. That shit's nasty.
I wish the temp was in the 70's
Quote from: Monsterlover on March 05, 2016, 07:41:02 AM
Ka-bang! Wish granted.
Except you were misheard and you got whirled peas.
That's like pea paste. That shit's nasty.
I wish the temp was in the 70's
Wish granted. It's 74 degrees for the next few days, but you are going to have to attend a wedding in Death Valley where it will be 97 degrees, and stay in a cheap motel with noisy air conditioner that doesnt really work.
Quote from: Mendo Dave on March 05, 2016, 07:49:12 AM
Wish granted. It's 74 degrees for the next few days, but you are going to have to attend a wedding in Death Valley where it will be 97 degrees, and stay in a cheap motel with noisy air conditioner that doesnt really work.
NOOO!!
Wish granted! You're now a temp working in 1972 in a grungy office building in DC.